*hugs* I get that way too sometimes. Actually... just today. I was kinda all over the damn place. What is the point of all of these emotions all at once??
I think sometimes I forget about PMS when assessing my mood. It's not always the case of course, but when I feel intensely fragile or volatile for no real reason, checking the date is sometimes a relief. At least then I know it's truly only hormonal and will pass soon enough. The last three days I was a completely fragile mess inside, felt like I wanted to burst into tears for really silly reasons but I couldn't cry. I figured out why and pulled through it.
The cows are pretty limited in their communications but there are a lot of them and you get used to it. Janie weighs probably twice what you do now. Her more sudden cuddles would definitely knock you over, but it's not exactly a trample attack. 🙂
I've rented a cabin by a river for a week. I guess I just didn't realize how emotionally dependent I am on my beasties. I have a large support network and most of it isn't human.
Bluedays said:
Lonely IS hard to suffer through.:sad:
Do you know when you will be back with your cats and affectionate moo cows?
I have often focussed on (imagined it happening) the moment of being reunited with the particular thing I miss to help take the edge off.
Hmm. So far that's not helping. I'm probably just not keeping myself busy enough.
Like I need to make a change. I can't believe 7 months have gone by with pretty much nothing happening other than work and sleep, and then waste what little free time I have in the youtube abyss. I'm not creating, accomplishing, learning, expanding, or planning. I'm not the person I want to be, or living the life I want to. I mean, living in my parents basement and doing my best to enjoy life and stay out of depression is ok for now, but I have to do something sometime. I don't want to wake up ten years from now and see nothing has changed.
I need to be up in 5 hours, but I can't bring myself to stop watching television and go to bed. It's the closest thing I have to warm human company, and I've spent the past couple days with my highly-critical family and am going to class to face a highly critical instructor tomorrow before retiring for a weekend with no human voices.
Me too. I get so caught up and immersed in some memorable video game settings, even though most of the time they're even more tragic than real life.
A lot of news is also pretty tragic, but I feel that the world would'nt be as interesting and diverse as it is without the darker side of humanity, which is always going to be around whether we like it or not. All the negative emotions and terrible things humans do make for interesting stories to tell and listen to. It almost sounds like I approve of people to do bad things which is definitely not true, it just seems kind of appropriate in a strange non-sadistic sense that these things happen, like these things are supposed to occur. There's some kind of poeticness to it all. I have no idea if any of this makes sense to anyone here, it's difficult to explain.
The cows are pretty limited in their communications but there are a lot of them and you get used to it. Janie weighs probably twice what you do now. Her more sudden cuddles would definitely knock you over, but it's not exactly a trample attack. 🙂
I've rented a cabin by a river for a week. I guess I just didn't realize how emotionally dependent I am on my beasties. I have a large support network and most of it isn't human.
Hmm. So far that's not helping. I'm probably just not keeping myself busy enough.
Do you have anybody to look after your cows when you are away?
Lonely, to put it simply.
Not sure I need to go into more detail, I am sure many people get what I mean here. I know I am not alone with this, despite how much we probably all feel it. Its more frustrating than anything else at this point. My room keeps switching between a place of comfort and a place where I feel trapped, I am not sure which one to settle it on. My problems are pretty minor, but opening up a little here helps.
Either way, hope things are going fine elsewhere for you guys.
I feel ill to my core. It's not a new feeling by any means but I haven't experienced it fully for a while. Lately when I cry it doesn't relieve the feeling, it actually feels like too little of an emotional release and like I might start heaving, like there's this deep agony lodged inside and it won't come up. Sounds dramatic but it's true.
Separate but related to my mood, my sister started her first job ever today and they were so cruel to her about her social anxiety. They were condescending and implied she had no personality. People with no understanding of anxiety make me see red with their little clueless abuses.
I feel ill to my core. It's not a new feeling by any means but I haven't experienced it fully for a while. Lately when I cry it doesn't relieve the feeling, it actually feels like too little of an emotional release and like I might start heaving, like there's this deep agony lodged inside and it won't come up. Sounds dramatic but it's true.
Separate but related to my mood, my sister started her first job ever today and they were so cruel to her about her social anxiety. They were condescending and implied she had no personality. People with no understanding of anxiety make me see red with their little clueless abuses.
Sorry you are feeling so bad lately, Opal. :sad:
It is kind of pointless for me to say "hang in there" as I can totally relate to what you are experiencing and I know that can inspire a "well damn, I don't know how much longer I am able to hang in there, it has been sooooo long already". :sad:
That makes my blood boil to hear that your sister has work colleagues that treat her anxiety so ignorantly. I put up with 2 bosses like that for 2 years and it nearly killed me. Keep an eye on her, that can potentially make your sister end up in a really dangerous head space. :sad:
^ I used describe a similar feeling as coughing up a blind pain. An agony and sadness beyond articulation. Once I curled up under my desk for an hour or two, I couldn't even stand up. I haven't had any episodes as bad as that like that for over ten years now.
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