Yeah, I still struggle with it, even in adulthood. Though, being told to "Shut up and not say anything" contributed to it, ah think. And my mum doesn't like when arguments start within the family, ye see.
Can you move out? If you don't feel like living with them?
Ah would but ah don't know if ah'd cope, what with ma physical disability and all. Would have to find a place, arrange a home help service. Quite a lot of things tae sort out before movin' out is a viable option. Not to mention the cost of living (food, bill payments, etc) in general.
My last two Sundays have not been good for me, but today is seemingly going better for now. Listening to new music and I'll take a walk shortly to see a movie. I'm already liking it. 🙂 Plus work this morning was chilled out and I got to have a cool conversation or two.
My last two Sundays have not been good for me, but today is seemingly going better for now. Listening to new music and I'll take a walk shortly to see a movie. I'm already liking it. 🙂 Plus work this morning was chilled out and I got to have a cool conversation or two.
Life is good, boys and girls. :thumbup:
Keep on living good Mikey, we can use the pick-me-up :thumbup:
^Glad you're doing good Mikey. 🙂
I feel I'm done with fake friends and random creeps. I wish I had atleast one person whom I could call if not real friend atleast a decent friend but I guess that's highly unlikely.
I feel I'm done with fake friends and random creeps. I wish I had atleast one person whom I could call if not real friend atleast a decent friend but I guess that's highly unlikely.
Why is it unlikely? You seem to be a very likeable person.
Why is it unlikely? You seem to be a very likeable person.
Because of my weak social skills, its hard for people to know how likeable someone is if they can't even hold a conversation. Plus the people I currently hang out with don't have much in common with me. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Ma mum berated me, yesterday, for simply askin' how she doesnae seem tae let things to her - snide, mean comments and the like. She just said, rather angrily: "Look! Ah just want tae be left alone and for naebody tae bother me! Ah wish ah could move away fae here. Awright?!"
That's what ah get for opening ma mouth! Don't why ah carry on livin' tae be honest. :sad:
I'm just about to graduate and it just hit me that I have to pay off a gigantic loan. My marks have been shitty this year and then someone online berated me for never being in a relationship.
Life ! I just can't accept my life or life situations as Ekhart Tolle puts it. How did i arrive here? I never made a conscious decision. I was not given a choice( i wonder how many are given the choice). What i regret most is the robot like existance i lived for the last eight years since ocd hit me.
I just made easy decision/ the choices i had before me. Never did i made those decisions that i should have.
Now when i have learned to so much, after losing so much, i can't bring back the past to make it alright. I can't see any future either.
What hurts is that i can't do anything about anything. I know those self help stuff, that you can do what you want if you only tried hard enough or that fairy tale "everything is possible".
No i don't believe it. Some things or almost everything gets crooked forever.
If only i can ACCEPT!! And let go my desires/wishes and accept that nothing can change what has happened. If only i can see some hope, feel some peace, do anything that i can be proud of, just for once let me feel alive and cease the constant ache i feel in my heart. I hate the emptiness.
I'm just about to graduate and it just hit me that I have to pay off a gigantic loan. My marks have been shitty this year and then someone online berated me for never being in a relationship.
Life ! I just can't accept my life or life situations as Ekhart Tolle puts it. How did i arrive here? I never made a conscious decision. I was not given a choice( i wonder how many are given the choice). What i regret most is the robot like existance i lived for the last eight years since ocd hit me.
I just made easy decision/ the choices i had before me. Never did i made those decisions that i should have.
Now when i have learned to so much, after losing so much, i can't bring back the past to make it alright. I can't see any future either.
What hurts is that i can't do anything about anything. I know those self help stuff, that you can do what you want if you only tried hard enough or that fairy tale "everything is possible".
No i don't believe it. Some things or almost everything gets crooked forever.
If only i can ACCEPT!! And let go my desires/wishes and accept that nothing can change what has happened. If only i can see some hope, feel some peace, do anything that i can be proud of, just for once let me feel alive and cease the constant ache i feel in my heart. I hate the emptiness.
Ah wish ah could say somthin' tae make ya feel better... But ah can't. Because ah can relate tae how yer feelin', spring. :sad:
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