Well... my 18 year old cousin's lost her baby, when intae labour too early (still-born) What a great start tae 2013 this turnin' out tae be... :sad:
Besides that, am pretty fed-up with ma family. Ma oldest sister, in particular. Egotistical, manipulative cow-bag but that's how she is, most of the time. She's either a female version o' ma father, in term of personality, or just a very manipulative, much like ma late father. But then, some women are great at being manipulative. Sorry, ladies. Nae offense intended there!
I'm just sick of being made to feel like ma opinion matter for nothing. Havin' other people's belief and expectations forced upon me. Made to feel different from the rest. Constantly feelin' like I have to apologies for the way I am.
But ultimately, am tired of ma oldest sister makin' decision for me - because am too stupid tae make 'em myself, given that I have cerebral palsy, apparently. And by that, I mean decision which effect ma life. She scheduled me another meetin' to see about gettin' an electric wheelchair, without actually tellin' me:
I just get a condesendingly egotistical: "Is that awright with you...?" Just have tae be, won't it? I didnae huv much say in the matter, did I?! But thanks fur tellin' me! But I've tae f**kin' lie, yet again, and say ma situations worse than it actually is. Or "play-along" as ma sister put it. But am just sick of doing that, truly am. But ma sister doesnae seem tae get that, freakin' complain tae me, yesterday: "D'you no' get upset about it?" What, huvin' tae cope with the disability I was born with? Naw! I mean, I used to when I was in ma teens. But over the years, I've cared less and less. It's just how it is... I've learned to accept it as it is.
Besides, there's too much bureaucracy involved. Short of being completely paralised from the waist down, it's no likely am gettin' an electric wheelchair. That's the reality of it, anyway. And good intentions aside, I think ma oldest sister's just doing this for herself more than anything, because she wants to still think our relationship hasn't change in 2 years, that we're still "very close". Uh-huh, that'll be right! :thumbdown: But far be it fae me tae keep ye from livin' the disillusioned dream fantasy!
I mean, it'd be great if things were different. Sure, it can get upsetting if I dwell on it for a long time. Frustrating, even. But that doesnae change the facts of my situation. I could get all angry and bitter, but where does that get me in the long-run? Naewhere! And sorry if I come across as such, but am just being honest here.But I can't spend ma time wishin' ma life away, feelin' sorry for myself because I was born physically disabled. Just got tae make the best of a difficult situation, I guess. :idontknow:
Anyway, I think you get what am tryin tae say? Sorry for this depressingly bleak rant. Just had tae vent. :sad:
