Frustrated and confused.
I'm
still struggling in one of my online classes -- one I hate with a passion, and I'm mighty close to failing. The third or so week of school I had sought out a tutor and study area to get help with it because it didn't take long until I was lost with the material. The help was good, and I was doing better on quizzes, average anyway. This past week though, the college moved everything. My tutor is now in a writing center, which consists of a small space with tables and computers, filled with people talking and coming in and out constantly -- not someplace where I can even begin to concentrate. She also doesn't have nearly the full hours she used to, due to rotating work schedules in her new position, so getting help now from her is pretty much out of the question. The quiet study area is still available where I was before, but there's no extra help I can get while I'm in there.
I'm still struggling with homework, but only with the participation which involves a discussion forum on the course webpage. I can answer the questions provided fairly well, but it's the communicating with other people I can't do. I've been trying a little more recently to post feedback, since I was only getting half the points before from not discussing since I'm completely terrified of the place. It's not enough though, and halfway through the semester now I don't know if I can even get my grade up. My professor, I'm just kind of realizing, grades mostly on socialization I think. She's smart, I won't deny that, since her tests usually throw me for a loop and I really have to stop and think about every question. But that's the thing. My quizzes/tests aren't fantastic, but I pass. The homework I always pass. Apparently with her it's not the material, it's talking to people?
I just don't get it, and she's not a person to offer chances to boost your grade. She's a hardass, to put it bluntly. I feel as bad as I did last year when I failed chemistry at university. I hate trying and trying and not getting anywhere. I feel so worthless.
I hadn't dropped this course at all because I already dropped another course right when the semester started due to my schedule being pretty overloaded to start with and not being able to get to school the hour I had it. That left me at 14 credits, needing 12 in order to get financial aid. Just the other day the college decided to inform me (now they inform me! that stuff was issued nearly 3 weeks ago!) that my financial aid changed (when I received quite a bit last year) and that I was receiving less than $1000, plus even with that I have over $900 left to pay off. My mom said that her and my dad will pay for it, but it just makes me feel guilty. My dad will most likely have a fit though since he's so financially uptight. He doesn't even know yet and I haven't had the backbone to tell him, nor has my mom even talked to him.
I can still drop this stupid course, I have two weeks left to withdraw. But if I do, that bumps me down to 11 credits, and if that happens then I'm pretty sure I won't get any financial aid at all, leaving me to pay even more. I don't know if I can switch into another course, since that would mean trying to make up half a semester's worth of material. I just don't know what to do. I guess I'll just have to wait until Monday to speak with my advisor about it. Sorry for the wall of text. :
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