How are you feeling?

[Shyangel]

I'm really sorry, Angel. I do get these thoughts, as well, and they're seldom fun. Now you have to ask yourself: what do you think you could be doing that you feel is worth talking about?

Thanks, Mikey, for asking me that. That's a good question and it gets me thinking. I'm going to try and keep that question in mind during my days from now on. I really o appreciate it. I feel a bit better now.

 

[psych]

Oh, I know this. You feel like you're being shunned and/or discarded by others. I'm sorry you feel that way. Who's doing that? Can you speak up to them about it?

No, it's a work thing, & that's exactly what's irritating to me. You cannot talk to these people. They take everything straight to management.
I've never operated like that. I always try to solve problems with others. I'm not going to threaten someone's job over an imagined slight.
I'm not being discarded or shunned, I'm being actively & systematically destroyed.

 

[da_illest101]

If cursing aloud is going to help you, do that. It's better than nothing.


What happened to your neck? I'm assuming some kind of injury. Hopefully things aren't too bad in that regard, or financially.


I'm really sorry, Angel. I do get these thoughts, as well, and they're seldom fun. Now you have to ask yourself: what do you think you could be doing that you feel is worth talking about?


Oh, I know this. You feel like you're being shunned and/or discarded by others. I'm sorry you feel that way. Who's doing that? Can you speak up to them about it?

I got a herniated disc since last year but I made worse working, and financially I owe 2500$ without a job

 

[psych]

Ouch, sorry to hear about your plight, da_illest101. Hope you can find some relief.

 

[MrJones]

There is a crowd downtown. I hate crowds, get me out of there! I'm right in the middle, and you stand right there. Staring, laughing, crying, living your life like nobody mattered. You don't know who you are, and neither do I.

I want to go away, run forever, RUN! Run and don't look back.... but something is holding me back, right there where I was. I just can't move, I'm stuck, I need help! But no one listens, since no one cares.

And I'm all alone, by myself like I've always been Just the same as you. You and I, standing there, in the crowd, all alone without anyone else. And nobody cares.

Broken hearts that'll never met, frightened souls that can never forget.

And nobody cares.

What's done is done, just part of the past but some people have it easier than us. I just wanted to feel I wasn't alone, but I know you hate me....

And I'm all alone.

Then you lung my already aching heart with a rusty spiky sword to stare at my dying body with an evil grin and furious eyes that see how I slowly fade away in front of you. Is that what you wanted? If that was your goal, you can be happy now.

I don't know you and you don't know me. You never wanted to get close to me, but then you came, and I smiled, and you remain silent and I cried, and you left and I cried, and one day I couldn't cry, but my tears couldn't dry, and I'm so sick I can't try to get to the stars, as you once did.

And here I am, a dead body laying in the ground, waiting for nothing in the middle of the crowd. And you are right there, alone in the crowd, laughing, crying, living your life like nobody mattered. You don't know who you are, and neither do I.

 

[MrJones]

Wtf did I just do, I have no idea. I started writing a normal post and that came out for some reason, I don't even know what it is. Anyway, my original post of feelings:

I'm losing my breath, I feel dizzy and everything hurts, body and soul. It's all rotten and slowly dying, is there anything left for me? Am I ready to go?

I don't think I'm ready to anything, but I have nothing to do in here anymore. I don't want to cry, I don't want to scream, I just want to die... I'm tired of all that.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Whatever you wrote Jones, I found it very beautiful, you are really vivid in describing your emotions.

"
I don't think I'm ready to anything, but I have nothing to do in here anymore. I don't want to cry, I don't want to scream, "

I totally know what you mean. And I wish I had some helpful advice but all I have is a listening ear. I think it means something that you are on this forum, able to express yourself so well. You definitely are seen here, even by lurkers who may not post but feel deeply thankful for being able to relate to the ways that you express yourself.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I feel like I want to go outside and enjoy the sun, and the part of me that keeps saying "but it might not be worth the effort, you feel pretty alright right now but you might come back feeling more detached, so just enjoy the thought instead" would lay low for a sec.

 

[coyote]

i can tell summer is here

because i'm still at work

 

[Nathália]

Lonely and bored.... But mostly just lonely.

Me too, I feel you. Although, I like it's when it's peaceful around here, but I feel bored and lonely too.

I got a herniated disc since last year but I made worse working, and financially I owe 2500$ without a job

:: I hope you can find some help from somewhere about your back and finances.

I feel like I want to go outside and enjoy the sun, and the part of me that keeps saying "but it might not be worth the effort, you feel pretty alright right now but you might come back feeling more detached, so just enjoy the thought instead" would lay low for a sec.

Try not to think the negatives. Yay vitamin D, strong bone health, connecting with nature and having senses open from fresh oxygen, instant stress relief, etc etc. I do understand the feeling when you come back in doors though.

Whatever you wrote Jones, I found it very beautiful, you are really vivid in describing your emotions.

I agree EscapeArtist. Mr Jones you are good at expressing yourself and your emotions, it's distinctive to you.

 

[MikeyC]

Thanks, Mikey, for asking me that. That's a good question and it gets me thinking. I'm going to try and keep that question in mind during my days from now on. I really o appreciate it. I feel a bit better now.

I'm glad I could help. I think you may be being a little too harsh on yourself. I bet you're doing things that you think are worth your time but maybe not to "society." Just do what gives you happiness.

No, it's a work thing, & that's exactly what's irritating to me. You cannot talk to these people. They take everything straight to management.
I've never operated like that. I always try to solve problems with others. I'm not going to threaten someone's job over an imagined slight.
I'm not being discarded or shunned, I'm being actively & systematically destroyed.

I think that's even worse, then. :: I'm sorry.

I got a herniated disc since last year but I made worse working, and financially I owe 2500$ without a job

Yikes, that sounds quite painful. I hope for a quick recovery, physically and financially.

 

[MikeyC]

I feel like I want to go outside and enjoy the sun, and the part of me that keeps saying "but it might not be worth the effort, you feel pretty alright right now but you might come back feeling more detached, so just enjoy the thought instead" would lay low for a sec.

I hope you do enjoy the sun! Or you should come to Australia where it's chilly and no sun.

i can tell summer is here

because i'm still at work

You're a top worker.

 

[da_illest101]

Thank you all, The doctor gave me meds. It's quite painful, more than it was last year. My neck feel ok when I lay down then I forgot about the pain and told myself hey maybe my neck is fine and I can go to work, then it hurt as soon as I make a little movement. I can't even stay on my feet for 20 mins without my neck hurting. This time though I'll focus on recovering no matter how bad my financial status is

 

[lilmutegirl]

If I wasn't afraid I'd screw it up, I'd be suicidal right now. My son refuses to go to bed, and we're fighting big time about it again. I can't handle it!! He is violent and I don't want him to grow up that way. He behaves for everyone else. I can't take care of him financially or emotionally. I feel like a total failure as a parent.

 

[MikeyC]

If I wasn't afraid I'd screw it up, I'd be suicidal right now. My son refuses to go to bed, and we're fighting big time about it again. I can't handle it!! He is violent and I don't want him to grow up that way. He behaves for everyone else. I can't take care of him financially or emotionally. I feel like a total failure as a parent.

Being a parent is a very demanding job. It's tough raising a child. If he's being unnecessarily violent, that's where you have to put your own foot down and tell him that's not going to be tolerated. It's easier said than done but it's to avoid future outbursts.

I reckon I stress my parents out more now at 26 than I did at 6.

 

[coyote]

i seem to have lost my wireless optical mouse

 

[polishgirl]

Very, very confused

 

[hidwell]

Very, very confused

Maybe I can help

 

[Srijita52]

Very, very confused

What's wrong?

 

[lilmutegirl]

Now that the kiddo is finally in bed, I feel much more calm. I wish he would just do what I said the first time...