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I didn't hold my last job down very long only because I was treated so badly, by my boss and co-workers alike. It's sad when the customers are the nicest people to you, and that you look forward to seeing them every day rather than the people you work with. You try dealing with your co-workers talking about you behind your back, a boss who points out every little thing you do wrong (and occasionally yells at you for it), but doesn't say anything to the other workers when they do the same, doing all the work everyone else has slacked on, and also trying to deal with customers when you have moderate-severe SA and depression. Even before that job I had other various jobs cleaning, working deadline pages and concessions/fundraisers through Yearbook, and doing volunteer animal shelter work. If you've ever been a Yearbook editor, you KNOW how much work you do right towards the deadlines, being on a computer for hours finishing pages and submitting them. Sure, it's not exactly "get your hands dirty" work, but it's still work and staring at a computer screen for hours on end, thinking of what all needs to be changed/fixed, and how fast you can get pages submitted in order to meet the deadline and still look good is challenging in itself. So just because I haven't held down that many "official" jobs and did mostly side jobs and school functions doesn't mean I haven't worked a day in my life.
Good luck with your therapist. Tell her exactly what you said here and maybe she'll have some answers. To be honest I have very similar thoughts to what you're having, so I can relate somewhat. I wish I could make them disappear for you, my friend.
I read the whole thing. That sucks that your cousin is making life difficult for you. I don't really know what to say to help you but you're making the right choice by not associating with her as much. If you need to chat you know how to reach me.
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^ I did too, and I didn't think my day could get any worse from earlier. :I had a really bad day. :
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I read the other one, too. Sorry you're having such a depressive time, Phoenixx. :
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I'm sorry you're feeling such way. I hope you were able to tell your therapist what you expressed here.
I'm sorry, psych. People can be really ignorant and jerk sometimes. I hope you don't let them get to you too much.I had a really bad day. :
I got dragged into the office today over something a coworker couldn't make stick.
Then, when she saw that I wasn't going to get into trouble for that, she decided to dredge up something that she'd apparently been pissed at me about for two weeks.
I had no idea what incident she was talking about until she laid it all out.... & Guess what? It was an issue that had been driven by my social anxiety....[sarcasm] Shocker![/sarcasm]
Had not brought this up before, but I have been thinking about making a departure from the psychiatric field altogether... But may not be able to. (due to awful job market)
My SA has paved the way for me at work to become hated by some, & loved by others...
But, the haters are the people I work most diectly with, of course.
I do feel often misunderstood.
At times, the fact that I was ever even able to navigate in this particular line of work is a wonder to me. An accomplishment that, even if I get fired, I'll still walk away in amazement that I lasted that long.
Still, I feel pretty down and ****ty right now.
No getting out of tomorrow, have to hold my head up and weather it no matter what.
^I hear you on that. I do somewhat agree with your brother. I'm sorry you had a bad day, hope tomorrow will be much better. *hugs*^ I did too, and I didn't think my day could get any worse from earlier. :
I'm sorry to hear you're so misunderstood at your workplace. I agree with Valhalla though, don't drop your career just because of those people that are ignorant towards you. Keep it up, and try to pay no mind to those who seem to have a "problem" with you. Those who do love you are all that matter.
I hope tomorrow is a better day, to the both of us.
You know, I should be really happy right now, not this depressed. I didn't mention this earlier because I was too angry, but a really old friend spotted me in WalMart today. She was one of the really good friends I had in middle school, but we lost touch right at the last two years of high school. She graduated a year ahead of me, and I haven't talked to her since until today. I was so surprised to see her, but happy. I actually initiated a hug and felt no awkwardness or anxiety with our 15 min. conversation! (which I'm surprised I did myself, but happy I did it) We exchanged numbers so we could keep in touch more, even though I have her on Facebook she doesn't get on hardly at all.
I'm also going to my high school tomorrow just to see my favorite teacher and my old yearbook advisor. My mom actually ran into my teacher a couple weeks back and he told her to tell me that he wanted to see me and for me to tell him all about my year. Since his birthday is tomorrow (yes, I memorize these things, strangely enough), I decided that I could surprise him with a visit. Sad I don't have a gift or anything, but I think just visiting him would be more than enough.
However, with everything that happened today though, I still feel pretty awful because of it. I can't win either way. Try to help a family member, only get treated like crap in return. Why do I even bother reaching out? Why should I even care? I'm sick of butting heads, I really just want to look the other way and ignore her, and I just want her to do the same. It'd just be better for the both of us I think. I didn't talk to my brother about it, but he knew I was mad and he just said to me, "You can't make everyone happy. Start doing things for yourself and no one else."
The kid never offers me advice, and as somewhat vain as that sounded, he has a point. It's second nature for me to poke my nose in and try to help someone, and sometimes I'm just really persistent about it. I figure, if I can't help myself I might as well try to help everyone else.
I can understand your frustration, on the other hand its good that you've no other problems. I'm glad you're feeling better.Thanks for the support, guys.
I tried to make my feelings known, but I don't think she understood me. She doesn't think there is anything else wrong with me, though, and neither do my parents. I think I was just trying to find an excuse for why I'm not getting better at the rate I want to. I feel better after talking to my mom and dad, so all is okay on the super front.
