Sick Nick
Active member
I've lived with social anxiety and other mental health problems since I was a kid. When I'm around people I don't know (and even some that I do) I get extremely shy and anxious. I tend to put my head down or in other directions, loose control of the faces that I make, smile a lot, occasionally stutter as well as shake, etc. I use to stay in the house a lot. Was a bit of an alcoholic (still drink often but not as much as I used to). Drinking was (and is) the only way I could come out of my shell and have more control. Liquid courage. But the last couple of years I broke free from the prison of my room and my home. I found a program that helped people who are disadvantaged or had disabilities find jobs after they worked this program for a while. So I worked in this little building doing janitorial work, cleaning up after mentally challenged and disabled people who went there for activities and learning. I worked there for 10 months. My supervisor was pretty horrible but I didn't let her bring me down. My nickname from my coworkers was hard working man. I was a perfectionist and did everything the best I could. Graduated from the program and spent two months looking for work. Felt like an eternity. Got my opportunity at Walmart. Started there as a cart pusher. This is a super center mind you, it has up hills and down hills, in the busy city of Palmdale, in the state of California. It was the most stressful, hard working job I ever had. I worked that job for over 10 months. Again I broke my back and gave my all and earned the respect (though nothing is ever good enough for the store managers, assistant managers, or C.S.M.'s) . Anyway I started to get over my fear of people, started to become more relaxed around them and started to gain some self-esteem. But working at that place man, eventually they broke me down and I became stressed, depressed, and my anxiety came back. It didn't interfere with my work, well maybe just a little bit. After not being treated very well ( not given enough drinks when it was hot, cart pushing machines breaking down (only once being repaired in that 10 months), never enough coworkers, and all the crazy people) I had had enough. I let them know I wanted inside the store and a chance at a different job. Then the day came when I found out I was being held back from being in the store because C.S.M.'s, assistant managers etc. thought I was special (mentally challenged). They thought I was a liability, needed a job coach, etc. So I raised hell, let them know that I had social anxiety disorder and was not special. Out of fear of me getting them in trouble for discrimination or something they gave me a shot at being an unloader with a full time position. I have been working this job for three days. Still get treated like **** and have to put up with B.S. but I am working hard and doing great. Since I started working almost two years ago I have lost 65 pounds. I used to weigh 250, I was 290 somethin at my biggest. Now I am at 175. Still have a gut (probably from beer drinking) but I am healthier and stronger than I have ever been. I am drinking as I type this (bad day at work) but I thought I would finally introduce myself. Came across this site a couple weeks back. I was looking for peaceful jobs and people who have social anxiety and found this place. It's nice to know that I am not alone. I sympathize with a lot of you and have similar experiences and problems. I hope to make friends, be there for ya all, and share what I am going through. Feel free to talk to me and ask any questions. I am the nicest guy in the world and am a peaceful person.
