Have you ever stood up for or helped someone out?
- Thread starter Capsaicin
- Start date
Yes, yes, no-doesn't change in my opinion, yes.
LoyalXenite
Well-known member
Agreed. I think its common decency to try, but sometimes my anxiety hinders it considerably. And other times my anger issues really help
kihira
1
Or would you if you noticed that someone in your class or workplace was a frequent target? - yes
Do you think it's the responsibility of others to step in? - yes
Does this change depending on whether it's minors or adults? What if it puts you at risk? minors should enlist the help of adults and adults the help of the people with the power to do something about it. its when people feel alone in these situations that fear prevents many from acting
Do you think it's the responsibility of others to step in? - yes
Does this change depending on whether it's minors or adults? What if it puts you at risk? minors should enlist the help of adults and adults the help of the people with the power to do something about it. its when people feel alone in these situations that fear prevents many from acting
MBinMN
Well-known member
I did a few years back. A guy that was horrendously bullied by adults. Throwing things at him, taunting him, laughing at him it was ridiculous. I quickly stepped in and told the 4 people to knock it the __ off and how cruel could they possibly be. I told one of the women she was a severe bully. These 4 people then took it upon themselves to make me the target. With this group of people I was ostrasized! No one would talk to me and I was now the one being laughed at, taunted and bullied. It was awful. I almost lost my marriage over it as well as was hospitalized during this time due to deep depression and suicidal thoughts. I lost everything, everyone that was important to me (so I had thought)
I still haven't recovered fully and these 4 people showed their true colors to everyone how awful they truly are. I thought this would make a difference, cause people to see I was right in my actions but people were so used to hating me they just continue to stay away. This has forced me into further isolation than what I was doing before the bullying.
I still haven't recovered fully and these 4 people showed their true colors to everyone how awful they truly are. I thought this would make a difference, cause people to see I was right in my actions but people were so used to hating me they just continue to stay away. This has forced me into further isolation than what I was doing before the bullying.
Opaline
1
If I can't stand up for someone else because I'm weak, I will report to authorities using anonymous helpline, which some schools offer. This way, I can stay anonymous, fear no retaliation from bullies, and still help the victim.
Stand up to these people or go down in life as a piss weak person.
I can't believe what some people have written here, sad.
I worked for myself for years and always treated those who worked for me with respect and great fairness, some even thought it was weak to be a good boss but in the end it worked for me.
Moving to the country i had to take this job i had now , not much work here.
For the the year in was dreadful, the worst job i have ever had , bar none but with three children you do what you have to .
The first job i had here at the hospital made me very miserable, daily, set up to fail but the feckers stood by in management and did nothing , although it was in breach of many things.
I found a niche of sorts and was bullied on and off , even when the hospital was running anti bully workshops.
A few times i retaliated with reasoned thoughts and dropped those people in the shit properly, this pulled them up big time.
For me it is just a game and they leave me alone because they never know what to expect or how it will effect them.
This works a treat when they realise you can pull them down with a few words and make them very cautious they think carefully.
You keep your complaints as non-personal as possible argue only along the lines of the work practices in place , then you get results!
Some complaints the boss must act on , so you hurry things along to get action but are never seen to do so.
As i said it is just a game , you play to win!
out of all this you come to realise just how pathetic people are and that there are only a few real human beings.
I worked for myself for years and always treated those who worked for me with respect and great fairness, some even thought it was weak to be a good boss but in the end it worked for me.
Moving to the country i had to take this job i had now , not much work here.
For the the year in was dreadful, the worst job i have ever had , bar none but with three children you do what you have to .
The first job i had here at the hospital made me very miserable, daily, set up to fail but the feckers stood by in management and did nothing , although it was in breach of many things.
I found a niche of sorts and was bullied on and off , even when the hospital was running anti bully workshops.
A few times i retaliated with reasoned thoughts and dropped those people in the shit properly, this pulled them up big time.
For me it is just a game and they leave me alone because they never know what to expect or how it will effect them.
This works a treat when they realise you can pull them down with a few words and make them very cautious they think carefully.
You keep your complaints as non-personal as possible argue only along the lines of the work practices in place , then you get results!
Some complaints the boss must act on , so you hurry things along to get action but are never seen to do so.
As i said it is just a game , you play to win!
out of all this you come to realise just how pathetic people are and that there are only a few real human beings.
Maybe online, I've helped people.
That's pretty extreme! I've had crushes on guys who rejected me, directly or indirectly, but I would never threaten suicide over something like this. Sure I cried my eyes out, scream, and unfriend them on FB, but eventually I get over the crushes. A former classmate who consoled me said, "there are many fishes in the sea."
That's pretty extreme! I've had crushes on guys who rejected me, directly or indirectly, but I would never threaten suicide over something like this. Sure I cried my eyes out, scream, and unfriend them on FB, but eventually I get over the crushes. A former classmate who consoled me said, "there are many fishes in the sea."
Odo
Banned
When I was teaching, I saw sooooo much bullying... pretty much every day.
There's really not very much you can do about it except tell the bullies to stop... but they know you can't really do anything. All of the laws protecting the students empower the bullies, and chances are the bully's parents either aren't in the picture or aren't so easy to deal with. Some of the bullies actually called the police on the teachers multiple times. We showed them videos and had assemblies... but of course, they don't care about that. Oh yeah, and we had the cops come to the school at the end of the day and stand outside the gates, just to make sure everything was okay. In case you couldn't guess, my school was a little rough.
All you can really do is comfort the victims and try to make them feel better about themselves... it wouldn't take much, because they were often so neglected that even the slightest bit of compassion would go a long way. On the other hand, a lot of male teachers were afraid of being called pedophiles... me included, so I just stayed away and generally kept my distance from everyone.
I gotta admit, when I was in school I didn't want to do anything that might make me a target... I wasn't very big and it was usually a gang of people doing the bullying-- later on I found a group of tough kids and that made things better, but yeah... high school wasn't fun and it isn't as easy as just standing up to them... I really hope that things get better for kids nowadays but things are definitely not headed in that direction.
There's really not very much you can do about it except tell the bullies to stop... but they know you can't really do anything. All of the laws protecting the students empower the bullies, and chances are the bully's parents either aren't in the picture or aren't so easy to deal with. Some of the bullies actually called the police on the teachers multiple times. We showed them videos and had assemblies... but of course, they don't care about that. Oh yeah, and we had the cops come to the school at the end of the day and stand outside the gates, just to make sure everything was okay. In case you couldn't guess, my school was a little rough.
All you can really do is comfort the victims and try to make them feel better about themselves... it wouldn't take much, because they were often so neglected that even the slightest bit of compassion would go a long way. On the other hand, a lot of male teachers were afraid of being called pedophiles... me included, so I just stayed away and generally kept my distance from everyone.
I gotta admit, when I was in school I didn't want to do anything that might make me a target... I wasn't very big and it was usually a gang of people doing the bullying-- later on I found a group of tough kids and that made things better, but yeah... high school wasn't fun and it isn't as easy as just standing up to them... I really hope that things get better for kids nowadays but things are definitely not headed in that direction.
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sahxox
Well-known member
Of course standing up for the bullied is the right thing to do.
Doing it is another matter. As others have posted, you must be strong enough to defend yourself before defending another person. Don't risk everything because unfortunately you can't depend on getting it in return.
I have an example where I defended a girl once in school when her friend was excluding her. What happens next? "friend" goes and gets her older sibling onto me, and all her older siblings friends, while I stood there by myself, versing atleast a dozen people. The girl I defended was standing amongst their crowd. I'll never ever forget that.
Doing it is another matter. As others have posted, you must be strong enough to defend yourself before defending another person. Don't risk everything because unfortunately you can't depend on getting it in return.
I have an example where I defended a girl once in school when her friend was excluding her. What happens next? "friend" goes and gets her older sibling onto me, and all her older siblings friends, while I stood there by myself, versing atleast a dozen people. The girl I defended was standing amongst their crowd. I'll never ever forget that.
theoutsider
Well-known member
Having been on both sides (I've been the target as well as being with a group of people targeting somebody else), I have stood up for people on different occasions. I used to be very good at getting people who are being targeted out of the crosshairs by either injecting humor or putting in a good word for the person. Yes, sometimes it puts me at risk but I've gotten to the point where I don't much care. I'm too old to worry about how I look to the crowd.