Have you ever stood up for or helped someone out?

[AGR]

I would like to help someone,didnt have the oportunity yet,but I think I would definetely do it on the street or when I am out,now at work or in a place where I have to return a lot I dont know and I am just being honest,when I try to stand up at those places what do I get?

I will say those people are pretty popular with girls and other people of their kind so I always get a bunch of those girls and the other people against me,even if I am in the right,and I am left alone,so I dont know if its worth it sometimes,if you are willing to risk your job or can live in a bad atmosphere than yes.

 

[Odo]

Odo, you become a target when you do nothing.

As well your unfit to teach if you do nothing.
You set a poor example to your students.
Not much will happen when you are weak, did it ever occur to you to fight back?

Yes, genius--I'm going to get into a fight with a student. That's a great way to manage a classroom. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that Vygotsky himself actually identified this as the number one problem in education-- teachers don't get into enough fights with their students. The entire Soviet Union was transformed from an agrarian society into an industrialized superpower the moment that teachers started fighting with their students!

Why on earth didn't I think of that before???

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Some of these made me sick that people are so selfish and gutless.

Stand up to the bully and give it to them or they do it again and again.

What piss-weak human just does nothing?

Have you been diagnosed with social anxiety? You certainly don't act as if irrational fears about people are any major part of your life. I've only seen you post about bullying. I may have missed something. Social anxiety is the primary reason most people are here.

You've been making a lot of awfully harsh judgements around here, telling people how they're piss-weak; telling Odo there he's unfit to teach. That last one is a rather large statement to make about someone without a detailed knowledge of the situation.

Almost seems as if your response to bullying has become to make sure you're the one doing it.

 

[LeDiskoLove99]

I usually never did anything when people were being mocked/picked on/bullied around me because I was so shy, something I feel extreme guilt over now to this day.

But there have been a few times where I had enough of seeing people being mercilessly mocked and bullied that i have stood up and said something. I was tired of seeing it, and I did hurt for the people. I always tried to comfort them, but I should have stuck up for people more, it was only once in a while when I was feeling brave that I did.

I suppose that makes me just as bad as the bullies in a way huh?

 

[theoutsider]

Some of these made me sick that people are so selfish and gutless.

Stand up to the bully and give it to them or they do it again and again.

What piss-weak human just does nothing?

Hi moondog, just some words of information.

I have seen where you post primarily in the sections dealing with bullying. I'm guessing you may have done a search on bullying and that's how you found this message board. This board is for people who have social phobias and being bullied is just a part of what many with this affliction go through. To tell someone with Social Anxiety to simply "stand up to the bully" and to ask things along the lines of, "what is wrong with you people??" is the equivalent of saying: Hey guys, stop having social anxiety! That's all you have to do. Problem solved!

Social Anxiety (phobia) doesn't work that way and most of us understand that. That's part of the reason we come here, so we can discuss our problems/experiences amongst people who understand because they are going thru the same thing. People who just tell us we are being silly, weak or dramatic are who we come here to escape. My suggestion is if you are looking for a forum where bullying alone is the topic, you have chosen the wrong message board. People who don't have phobias who have been bullied are probably more suited to being told to simply toughen up although I suspect the solution is more complex than that even for them.

I'm a member on many different boards (automotive forums, travel, my hometown, etc.) and I know how the internet can be. You don't agree with something someone has said or their lifestyle and it's acceptable to go at them with name calling and general disrespect. Sometimes it is brushed off and some times it turns into a full out (and I'll admit, occasionally entertaining) free for all. However, this message board isn't like that. Discussions are pretty much supportive and respectful as we are mindful of the fragility of each other's conditions. It's a great place for support but not really tough love as that's neither needed or helpful here. Most of us know we have issues and are working on ways to get over them. It's also a good resource for friendship as many with SA don't make a lot of connections in the "real world". It's just not the kind of board where it's cool to call someone a looser (the internet spelling of loser...lol) because you don't agree with them.

If you do have a form of social phobia, you have come to the right place and I think you will benefit from this forum. Just be mindful of the culture here.

 

[moondog]

My o my.
Please don't be defensive.
I was bullied as a kid from grade 1.

I later realised i needed to do something , then my life changed for the better.
these are my experiences , if you want to stay as you are that's fine, i didn't.

Faced with the choice of being miserable one resorts to whatever means it takes.
Four years ago i was faced with leaving my job because of the bullies , i have 3 children to support and it is hard to get a job where i am.
No choice to make, i am still here.
I don't agree with what i did as being reasonable but it worked, that's all.
I do remember how difficult it was for me and the courage it takes to stand up to be people is scary.
It get's easier but for me it is still hard as i hate conflict.

The question people should be asking is how do they turn their life around?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

My o my.
Please don't be defensive.

Condescending attitude noted.

Mr. Moondog, you've been insulting and attacking people.

You seem to be mistaking irritation from me for defensiveness. I don't like seeing people being rotten to others on this board. I confront you about it, and instead of addressing it you imply that I must be the one with the problem? Another tactic typical of bullies. Nice.

You are not a drill sergeant. This is not the Marine Corps.

Telling people they're weak does not constitute help--it only demonstrates that you like to feel stronger than others.

 

[R3K]

I had a coworker who was bullied by the shift manager. he was closet-gay (the victim) and the manager would sling all kinds of gay slanders and slurs and poke and rough-house with him until he was super uncomfortable and cowering.

i'd tell the manager he was being super-gay himself by harassing him, and stuff like that until I got him into enough of a distracted dialogue that he'd turn his attention away from the other guy.

always do something, even if it's a miniscule, indirect effort.

signalize your disdain for bullies' behavior to them as safely as you can without becoming a direct target. or, if you're tough enough, take them on toe-to-toe. but don't just stand and do nothing. it's a tough line to walk, getting involved just enough to deflect the bullies' attention from the victim without compromising your own stature, but it's gotta be done.

 

[moondog]

All i have said is the victim must take some action.

The core of much of the paradigm is power and the lack of it the victim has, redress the situation in ways you can.

i came by the forum by accident and was surprised to see the lack of suggestions, surely the victim must do something?

 

[Scandic123]

In my old class, we had a guy who had changed school multiple times because of bullying. In our class he was also bullied until he changed again. It was especially one other guy who was the "leader" of the bullying and in the end, everyone hated him, but while the bullying took place, almost everyone took part even though they felt bad for the victim of it. I also felt bad, but I never did anything, no one did. So I'm going to have to say "no" to this question.

 

[moondog]

All i have said is the victim must take some action.

The core of much of the paradigm is power and the lack of it the victim has, redress the situation in ways you can.

i came by the forum by accident and was surprised to see the lack of suggestions, surely the victim must do something?

And to Odo , i did not suggest in any way a teacher engage in any fight.
What i did suggest was a teacher has an obligation to protect the students and a clear Duty of Care which is well documented .
You protect children so that they may be comfortable and in peace to be educated ,participate and achieve their potential at school.

You deliberately misrepresented what i said to undermine .