Have you been told your attractive, and still don't have confidence?

[water4]

I have been told that back in days but it was usually hard for me to believe it then...

 

[Aletheia]

I still like hearing it, though.

Yeah. As much as it makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Kiwong]

I probably don't need to hear, because I am as comfortable in my skin as I have ever been. I'm physically fit, and that feels good.

 

[MikeyC]

true story...

it was 2004, i was 40 years old

no one had ever told me that they thought i was good looking until my second wife

she kept insisting that i was, and that other women thought i was

having trouble believing her, i posted an old photo of myself on "hotornot.com"

to see what sort of reaction it would get

i chose an old photo - from when i was in my early twenties - because i was curious to see what girls may have thought of me back then, when i was single and available. i wasn't worried about what anyone else thought of me in the present, because i was happily married

however, my wife assumed that i was posting my photo in an effort to meet and hook-up with women online

i tried to explain, but she could NOT believe that i didn't know how attractive i was or that i had such little confidence and such a low opinion of my own looks

why? because she had a low self-image and lacked confidence in the fact that i found HER attractive and wasn't interested in any other women - even though i thought she was beautiful and loved her with all my heart

there is no moral to this story - or happy ending, i'm afraid

she left me for some other guy

i don't even think he's as good looking as i am

Interesting story. Even when your own wife tells you you're sexy, it's hard to believe. Unfortunate about the ending to that story. I bet that shattered even more of your confidence.

 

[coyote]

Interesting story. Even when your own wife tells you you're sexy, it's hard to believe. Unfortunate about the ending to that story. I bet that shattered even more of your confidence.

actually, it all made me that much more confident with women

she told me later that she only stuck around for the last six months of our marriage for the sex

i took it as a compliment

 

[hangbi92]

Yup I had some friends telling me I'm handsome or cute or stuff, but I don't really think so. I'm extremely concerned about how I look, maybe its because of my SAD and BDD.

 

[bleach]

just because you're attractive doesn't mean you have a dateable personality or money

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Sometimes, but only on the internet. Never had it said to me in real life, and to be honest if I did I wouldn't believe them, I'd just assume they were taking the piss.

 

[rebyoo]

People who are dating you or are interested in dating you have to say you're attractive, otherwise it would be like admitting to themselves that they can't get someone who is actually attractive.

I don't believe i'm attractive, and i don't believe the people that have told me i am really think it, it's just a way of comforting themselves.

 

[Candide]

Well I think people are belittling themselves too much I don't think very many people count as unattractive, I have to admit my hair is pretty cool.

 

[Sartana]

People who are dating you or are interested in dating you have to say you're attractive, otherwise it would be like admitting to themselves that they can't get someone who is actually attractive.

I don't believe i'm attractive, and i don't believe the people that have told me i am really think it, it's just a way of comforting themselves.

Surely after a while you just have to accept that there may be some truth to the complements. Sure it's hard to think positive when you have a bad image of yourself, but people can't force themselves to fancy you.

 

[Invisibleman]

Only on this site but even then I sort of take it as just being nice and polite etc. But never in real life have I been called any of those things.

 

[jonas89]

yeah I have been told a few times and I know or like to think people mean it, but even so my confidence is still close to zero.

 

[Newtype]

People who are dating you or are interested in dating you have to say you're attractive, otherwise it would be like admitting to themselves that they can't get someone who is actually attractive.

I don't believe i'm attractive, and i don't believe the people that have told me i am really think it, it's just a way of comforting themselves.

That's so dark, rebyoo! You mustn't feel like that

As for me, only one person has told me to my face that I'm good looking, but I think she just said it to make conversation. I remember making a fool of myself after she said it and then my confidence hit rock bottom, lol.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I don't believe i'm attractive, and i don't believe the people that have told me i am really think it, it's just a way of comforting themselves.

I hear ya, sister.

 

[Thundercats]

I've never been told i'm attractive.

 

[JonSP]

I've been told I'm attractive before, but I think being told that only adds to the lack of confidence in a twisted way.

And even if someone says you're attractive, any hang up you may have about yourself over shadows everything.

 

[MrJones]

I've been told I'm attractive only by my mother, because she sees me with "mother eyes", and by people from this forum.

Still no confidence, I just can not believe a word, as everyone else have always said I'm not attractive at all. Plus my many other things that make me totally unconfident.

 

[montejocarlo]

Yeah, I've been told i'm attractive. To some extent, I believe it. It doesn't do anything about inferiority complex though. In my case for example, I'd always find something to make myself feel inferior. Like even when I believe I'm attractive, it wouldn't matter because I believe myself to be stupid as well. & it's better to be not attractive but smart rather than the other way around.

 

[da_illest101]

The way I see it is that I can look as good as I want, but if I don't have an interesting personality or life, I'll never be confident around others. I got compliment on my looks all the time, but my personality and what I enjoy just doesn't fit society or other people's standart.