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Have you been told your attractive, and still don't have confidence?

Started by NightTimeForever · Feb 19, 2012 · 59 replies

#41
Yeah. :🙁: It's a confidence issue I still haven't gotten over yet, though I am trying my best.

I read this online somewhere, and it definitely applies, haha: "I have this weird self esteem problem where I hate myself yet I still think I'm better than everyone else."
#42
Illusions said: ↑

I read this online somewhere, and it definitely applies, haha: "I have this weird self esteem problem where I hate myself yet I still think I'm better than everyone else."
That sounds so much like me. lol
#43
I've been told a few times that I'm "cute" and "pretty." Only once, recently, have I been called "beautiful." No, I still don't believe any of those things. For me, they don't outweigh all the insults I've been called in the past over my physical appearance.
#44
When I get compliments on the net I always think "well if those people only saw me IRL, they would def not call me beautiful"
#45
pop-princess said: ↑
When I get compliments on the net I always think "well if those people only saw me IRL, they would def not call me beautiful"
Same here (well, I don't get called beautiful 😛). Only online people seem to like how I look, I can't help but think they do it only to be nice, polite, supportive, etc. I've been insulted for my looks too many times to believe anything.
#46
On the rare occasion that someone expresses some sort of interest in my outward appearance, I remind myself that I'm out of shape and overweight. So I guess I still don't believe in myself as much as I should.

Occasionally I can make others laugh, though. And while it doesn't help with my confidence, it does help me feel slightly better about myself.
#47
I think attractive people must be really insecure. think of models or actors who need to starve themselves, get plastic surgery and put all this energy and time into looking good... they are insecure about not being attractive enough.

I mean if your security or confidence is based on how attractive you are... how secure are you if your confidence is based on what other people think of you.
#48
when I was a kid, I was constantly mocked and teased/verbally abused by parents/relative and kids at school. I had quite the awkward phase. I was pretty chubby, short and had acne ... plus I was quiet.

Today as an adult, guys do flirt with me and tell i'm attractive, but I don't believe it. I usually think they're saying it to just be nice.
#49
Yes, someone who I spoke to told me I must be beautiful over the Internet, even though I never showed him my picture. I think he must have had ulterior motives for saying this.

In real life, no one directly told me I'm beautiful, pretty, or cute. Usually people say I'm smart or stupid, but never pretty.
#50
I´ve been told so, and as nice as it is to hear, it doesn´t help me with my confidence, I´m insecure and pretty much can´t stand myself or the way I look. Sometimes it embarrasses me when I get a compliment, like it´s too much attention and I just feel nervous about it. I wish I had more self confidence and self-love. I might get there, but I´m far from it right now.
#51
I've been told there was nothing wrong with my looks.
#52
I'm not the girl who walks into the room and everyone's like "WHOA, DAYUMM!" (that'd be my blonde sister lol) but have been complimented on a classic kind of beauty. Yet despite this, neither of us have much social confidence and are reserved beyond where we'd like to be at. :/ My answer to the title is that 'good looks' are wasted without a stable personality to back them up... they can't solely be relied upon as a source of confidence.
#53
sahxox said: ↑
My answer to the title is that 'good looks' are wasted without a stable personality to back them up... they can't solely be relied upon as a source of confidence.

Very well said!
#54
People need to be loved more than they need to feel pretty... and the love has to come from true understanding.
#55
It's hard to believe or feel pretty I find...I've been told I'm pretty, but I've never been complimented as a child, in fact it's the complete opposite. My cousins used to make fun of my eyes because they are slightly almond shaped..Besides I was never called pretty by anyone during that time, nor by my own mother (of all people, you'd think mothers would tell their daughters they're beautiful no matter what). Recently ,just in the past few years people have been telling me I look 'hot' or really pretty...just yesterday my mom's friend's mother told her about how I've changed so much and are now more beautiful than ever since she last saw me when I was a kid, but I still don't see it.

Hearing compliments might make my day, but in the end I still struggle to see it whenever I look at my reflection. Aside from looks I've never been complimented or have gotten positive feedback from anyone based on what I've done, so no confidence in that area.
#56
I've been thinking about this again. Physical attractiveness is a stregnth, just like anything else. Intelligence, sportiness, musical ability etc. I don't think it can be viewed as a sole entity - it's just one of many factors used to measure the potential of a human being. Hollywood's stuffed us up here... the hot people in those silly high school movies are always the most sociable and popular/happy people. The uncool people are usually unattractive by default, so we get a bit muddled up when 'goodlooking' people have social anxiety/low confidence.
#57
I've been called "hot". No idea why because I personally don't see it.
#58
Nope. Never in my life. Sure, I've been told by my friends that I'm pretty, but I'm pretty sure they said to cheer me up. Oh well, who cares anyway?

Everybody. Cares. Nuff said.
#59
sahxox said: ↑
I've been thinking about this again. Physical attractiveness is a stregnth, just like anything else. Intelligence, sportiness, musical ability etc. I don't think it can be viewed as a sole entity - it's just one of many factors used to measure the potential of a human being. Hollywood's stuffed us up here... the hot people in those silly high school movies are always the most sociable and popular/happy people. The uncool people are usually unattractive by default, so we get a bit muddled up when 'goodlooking' people have social anxiety/low confidence.

Very true.
#60
sahxox said: ↑
I'm not the girl who walks into the room and everyone's like "WHOA, DAYUMM!" (that'd be my blonde sister lol) but have been complimented on a classic kind of beauty. Yet despite this, neither of us have much social confidence and are reserved beyond where we'd like to be at. :/ My answer to the title is that 'good looks' are wasted without a stable personality to back them up... they can't solely be relied upon as a source of confidence.

And this as well.

Yeah I'm no bombshell myself, I have that sort of classic look too I suppose. I have very fair skin and people sometimes say insulting things to me about it ("you need some sun!"). I also look young for my age, which often makes me feel bad about myself in situations where I would like to look more mature. So it's a mix. I sometimes feel good about myself, sometimes bad, but I don't think it's all tied up in looks. It depends on my overall outlook on life, really. When I feel like I look nice it can help, but when it comes to the major problems I have in the workplace and such, I never go home and agonize about how I look - it's all about my personality/anxiety disorder. If that makes sense.

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