Has social anxiety ruined your life irreversibly?

[IveBeenTired]

no, I meet people then at some point I say something awkward or feel they lose interest and I leave .
I can't sustain any kind of relationship for more than a couple of weeks.

 

[Marc7]

Not irreversibly, but for right now it ruined my social life, like i don't have any friends right now and lost my old friends.

 

[theslowesthand]

It's hard to say, as being non-social was always part of my from birth nature it seems. SA & avoidance has meant i have never gotten my social needs met (which i presume i have, as i'm a human - barely). Not having one's needs met equates to a lower quality of life. Also my natural neurotic, anxiety-ridden thinking patterns have caused much damage - obsessions, binging, alcoholism, noise-sensitivity, people-sensitivity, perfectionism, hoarding - you name it. But none of these things are necessarily permanent conditions ... and neither are the effects of SA/etc ... but they just probably wil be (at least to a high degree) :kickingmyself:

 

[Lea]

Yes. I think I tried almost everything there is to try and nothing works because I am screwed as a person. I don´t have where to go and what to try anymore. I might try again but it will always be the same result, I got to a point when trying again makes me feel like vomit, and get disgusted with the world and myself and everything even more. Euthanasia please.

 

[mismeek]

It only ruins it if you let it...

 

[Graeme1988]

Yes. I think I tried almost everything there is to try and nothing works because I am screwed as a person. I don´t have where to go and what to try anymore. I might try again but it will always be the same result, I got to a point when trying again makes me feel like vomit, and get disgusted with the world and myself and everything even more. Euthanasia please.

^ Same here. :sad: But irreversibly...? Well, aye, tae extent. It certainly isnae easy tae actually trust folk when ye realise at a young age how cruel people are and that no' everybody's gonnae like ye. Being verbally abused fae a racial standpoint will mess wi' yer self-confidence n' esteem. Sorry, the emotional scars are still quite raw...

 

[Littlewilly]

I agree with (Alwayssunnyinphilly) can't actually say it has wrecked my life completely but it has i think certainly held me back on certain things like career progression & forming relationships,feeling anxious & sometimes uncomfortable in social situations especially with the opposite sex & I think I have worried about these situations too much in the past & present but I try not to now but I'm still here surviving some how.:thumbup:

 

[BlackPuma]

''Ruined'' is a strong word, I think. ''Ruins'' are generally unusable remnants of what they once were. I wouldn't say my life is merely such a remnant.

I like living. I like feeling good, I appreciate feeling bad (for the perspective it gives), feeling socially awkward doesn't change that. Social anxiety rendered me incapable of enjoying a lot of things, but it hasn't quite conquered all the vital main aspects of life.

 

[bsammy]

social anxiety on its own hasnt ruined my life but combined with other problems such as paranoia, depression, extreme introversion, it has done so much damage in my life that there is no turning back.i cannot imagine a life where i enjoyed and sought out socializing, i think it would be much more rewarding but who knows as many extroverts i know dont seem very happy either so.

so yeah SA combined with a few other bad traits have most definitely ruined my life in a way that cannot be repaired.it also depends on how old you are.you guys in your teens and early 20s still have a chance to salvage your life.those of us in our late 20s, 30s and beyond dont have much chance.

 

[Honda]

Isnt there anybody over here that actually managed to over come and live with their mental scars??? All I see is people running in circles..

I dont care what happened to me in the past, the fact my life, career and relationships are ruined is not the part that bothers me or upsets..

What bugs me is that many People went through shit in their lives and why on earth is is easy for them to live with it just fine; while I have to keep running in this same vicious cycle of fear, anxiety, insecurity and confusion?
Maybe I got too used to the comforts of being a lazy coward and I find comfort in misery and running away from my problems? Perhaps I subconsciously don't want to let go of my past? Maybe that's what keeps holding me back from reaching my full potential. Am I really doing what it takes to grow out of it?

I promised myself that I will do what it takes to overcome it and grow out of it because this is not a way to live..

 

[coyote]

the thing is, everything in life is "irreversible"

that's because we can't go back and change things

good, bad, whatever has happened has led us to where we are right now

and right now is merely the starting point for what lies ahead

because we can't go in reverse - life only goes forward

and we each have the opportunity every new moment to begin again

let's decide where we want it to go and start heading that way

and not use the past as an excuse for why we're not already there

the past is behind us - it will only get in our way if we let it

 

[Littlewilly]

Hello, John here again.

I might add aswell that when I am in my comfort zone (My Home) I can be socially forward like speaking freely at work or with relatives, it seems to come or be so easy but when I face those situations I tend to clam-up or when I see other people talking & laughing especially with members of the opposite sex it makes me feel uncomfortable, sad & angry sometimes that I can't always do the same with them but it also depends on the people that I'm with at the time.
Some people I can feel very comfortable with at times its strange somehow that I don't always feel sad or left out:shyness::sad:.

 

[Kiwong]

Sometimes in life we can head in certain directions and finish up somewhere else entirely, and that is not always a bad thing. The important things is to move on and see where it leads

 

[arovt]

I just turned 24 years old, and I think the toughest part about realizing that I have medium-ish social anxiety is that when it attacks in moments in front of other people, it makes me appear less confident or even perhaps fake. That's the toughest thing for me personally because growing up I was always somewhat the "class clown" and not afraid to speak my mind. I earned respect because I was one of the smartest in the class too in every subject. Heck, I was even asked to 2 proms in senior year. I was definitely above average cool - I think my SA was worsening as I was going through college and I had a lot more social F-ups that probably derailed a few blooming friendships and it sucks because no one else who does not have SA can really understand what it is like. It's not a lack of self confidence, its a biological agent essentially that blows up inside of you and takes away your smile at crucial moments.

But look guys, I'm 24 and Im hopeful that I can defeat this and no matter what you guys all should be too. My work-around solution for myself is to just work on being more aware because that will help me know and avoid situations in public that will bring out my SA - my long term solution is to just work on smiling more - I say whatever brings out your self confidence and trumps your SA should be your primary solution. At some point, your mind will not fear situations as heavily - you GOT TO BELIEVE THAT. At the end of the day, we all will die in this world so who really cares who you've F'd up in front of? You know? Just be a good person and people will respect you. Simple as that. Be real. You will find confidence in your persona. I got a lot of work to do to almost "relearn" social behavior at times but if I take the pledge to do it, you should too. We are all in this together.

 

[greggy]

The way I feel is yes it has ruined my life, im sad all the time, I feel like im cursed becsuse people look at me with bad faces, there are people who dont know me who I know dislike me witch makes me hate humans just a bit more.

 

[NightTimeForever]

My psych said I was in his top 10 list for anxiety patients (meaning I had a large amount of anxiety). Having others with anxiety say they can't relate to your level only worsens it. Sort of makes me think I have some other mental issue, that's at the core.

 

[Richey]

I think so..

I struggle to hold a job for longer than 1-2 years. Because you are expected to progress in a company and I either leave or I feel like i'm being encouraged out of the picture.

Then I make a rash decision to change industries.

So you look at my resume and it makes no sense at all.

Will this change, I hope so. But hoping never works. If I can pave the way.

I just feel like I have little control and the outside world, environment, people control my life. The outside world uses guilt, persuasion, power, influence, pressure that can lead you down a garden path, which may not be the place you want to go. all that sort of jazz.

People say just be yourself. Ok, i'll be placid and withdrawn then, that is me being myself, which maybe ok in a human sense. But in terms of the working world and meeting people, it doesn't help at all. And people seem to not like those qualities.

Everyone's problems can be improved, but if you are stuck in an environment you don't enjoy and you are in a cycle of habit, it's far from simple. Even when you are trying to fix the problems.

 

[1139]

I think so..

I struggle to hold a job for longer than 1-2 years. Because you are expected to progress in a company and I either leave or I feel like i'm being encouraged out of the picture.

Then I make a rash decision to change industries.

So you look at my resume and it makes no sense at all.

Will this change, I hope so. But hoping never works. If I can pave the way.

I just feel like I have little control and the outside world, environment, people control my life. The outside world uses guilt, persuasion, power, influence, pressure that can lead you down a garden path, which may not be the place you want to go. all that sort of jazz.

People say just be yourself. Ok, i'll be placid and withdrawn then, that is me being myself, which maybe ok in a human sense. But in terms of the working world and meeting people, it doesn't help at all. And people seem to not like those qualities.

Everyone's problems can be improved, but if you are stuck in an environment you don't enjoy and you are in a cycle of habit, it's far from simple. Even when you are trying to fix the problems.

This is a quality post, I envy those people who can stick and naturally progress in a job for several years. I am lucky to hold a job for a year. And if I do it's usually cause I have an awesome boss, which is very hard to find as I'm sure you will know. It's usually a constant fight and something always arises sooner or later.

 

[Fighter86]

Yes, my life is downright crappy right now, but could be worse, so I should be counting my lucky stars I guess.

 

[Odo]

I think that procrastination, indecision and giving up on things has had an overall bigger impact.

You always feel like you have all the time in the world to make up for your mistakes/wrong turns/dubious choices and then suddenly you realize you've fallen behind and it's even harder to make up for these things.