First kiss (and more). . .

agoraphobickatie

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
aw don't let it weigh on your conscious if you had a good time... and making out sounds like a good time to me :) hehe.. but really, even if he does think that you might let him go further since you guys already made out, all you have to do is say "hey.. remember that was my first kiss? let's get used to that for a while until i feel more comfortable" or something, ya know? just be open with him about how you feel, and if you feel that he pressures you, then don't be afraid to tell him what you think..
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
It's only gone too far if you felt uncomfortable while it was happening (and you were sober - drunks have a whole other code, IMO). I don't think you came off as easy at all.
 
N

Nack

Banned
I swallowed my date whole... Anywayyyyy, I'm with HQ on this, if you don't feel comfortable with it, then yes it is going to far... I mean i wouldn't do that on my first date with a girl, maybe a peck on the cheek or so, but for me that's going too far. I don't know, i'm not one who thinks a guy should get a homerun on the first date.
 
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PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
Should wait to get to know him more before you trust him and go further. The fact he was that aggressive in the firts date tells me alot. So many girls fall in this trap and let guys have sex or even get them pregnant and then the guy bails. Good luck, I hope this doesnt happen to you.


This is coming form a male perspective, if I wanted sex from a girl I would do exactly what that guy was doing. Something tells me if he doesnt have sex with you the next few times you see him, he probably wont stick around with you.
 
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Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
this_portrait said:


What do you all think? Did I let him go too far? Did I come off as "easy" despite being rather shy about it all?
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nope you didn't let him go too far, he knew the boundaries and did not get pushy, for a teenage boy full of hormones thats not bad lol

you did not come off as easy as you set boundaries :)

good luck on the second date! :cool:
 
C

chained

1
:O my idol.. first kiss.. wow.. I was wondering if I'd tell a guy ( of it would come to that point that it was my first kiss, or just shut the f*** up lol.. and I agree with u about not letting him go to far, cuz ur in a whole new field and u dunno what's to far for u and what isn't... I guess it comes naturally.. good luck! :D
 
T

thor01

Well-known member
You have a strong mind, which is good. Basically, I say, like most others have, do what feels right, and comfortable to you, not based on what you imagine the majority of people would do, or what they would think of you.
If that ever happened to me btw, I'd feel so lucky haha. But that's different, that's me, who's never had contact with the opposite sex haha.
 
S

Silvox Black

Well-known member
You did not surpass any boundaries of any sort. Do not fear for any such things. Your mind should be able to provide you with the necessary actions. May I ask if his personality is similar to yours and if he has similar beliefs as you do? Such compatability issues are important in a relationship.
 
Phobologist

Phobologist

1
If you had wanton sex with him on the first date it wouldn't be "too far". Don't buy into the sexphobic mania of our puritanicalism infested society.
 
PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
Phobologist said:
Don't buy into the sexphobic mania of our puritanicalism infested society.
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Its actually the opposite. Our society is very sexual. Look at all the single parents( alot of them are young too), all the divorces, rapes, molestations, and the STDs and many more things. Even look at this thread, everyone here is saying "go for it", in a sense. No one is being phobic with sex at all.
 
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lurknomore

lurknomore

1
Phobologist said:
If you had wanton sex with him on the first date it wouldn't be "too far". Don't buy into the sexphobic mania of our puritanicalism infested society.
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While there may be some actual sexphobic people in society, I'm not seeing that in the responses to this thread. I'm no puritan, but I don't think it's sexphobic to believe that, for me personally, sex is something special that should not be entered into casually.

There is more to sex than it just being a physical act, it's highly psychological, and if someone is not ready for it, it can be very traumatic emotionally. Why do you think rape is considered to be such a heinous act, pretty much up there (or close) with murder? Because the effects of it are more than just the physical scars, bruises, possible pregnancy/STDs, etc., the psychological effects are way more brutal and hard to heal from, and tend to last much longer (except perhaps for non-curable STDs).

I'm not saying that everyone should view sex the same way I do- like pretty much everyone in this thread has said, this_portrait or anyone else should just do what is comfortable for them, but realize that people have different views and comfort levels even in similar circumstances. I just don't like the insinuation that viewing sex in the way I do is "sexphobic" and/or "puritanical," because there are practical reasons for believing the way I do.
 
iamthenra

iamthenra

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
I messaged a new guy on PoF. (Yes, I messaged a guy, and not the other way around. Shocking.) Turns out we go to the same school, and we hung out briefly before classes this past Tuesday and Thursday. Last night was pretty much our first date.

Now, I don't think this guy suffers from SA. At least, he certainly doesn't act like he does. So I wasn't too surprised when we were sitting in his car and he put his arm around me, and slowly pulled me into a kiss. It kind of turned into a makeout session for a while, though. By "a while" I mean a few hours. *Blush* He seemed to get rather "physical" with me during it, such as groping me and biting my neck.

As much as I enjoyed it all, I keep wondering if I let him go a little too far. I told him it was my first kiss, and he seemed rather shocked about it. Still, part of me just wonders if it was a bad thing to make out on the first date. It also makes me nervous that he might try to pressure me into going further than that, which is not happening for quite a few reasons. I don't think he will try to pressure me, though, since whenever he did things like biting my neck, he asked if I liked it, and if not, he would stop.

What do you all think? Did I let him go too far? Did I come off as "easy" despite being rather shy about it all?
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I'm happy for you, and jealous of you at the same time.... (jealous because I am still waiting for my first kiss.... ::(: )
 
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