Embarassing situations and replaying them over and over in my head

sopranos

sopranos

Member
Does any on else constantly replay embarassing situation over and over in their head. my life basically consisted of replaying embarassing moment, or things i precieved to be embarassing, constantly over and over again only interrupted by the creation of more embarrasing moments so i decided to stop going out (I mean like on a friday night or saturday when they mainly occured) and now instead of creating new ones to replay i do it with things that happened over a year ago when i last properly went out with my friends. Anyway i will get to the point does anyone know of any techniques i could use to stop these thoughts as i just cant seem to do it.

Thanks.
 
F

FOR REAL

Banned
i dont know any techniques for this.

but if it makes you feel any better, i constantly go over and over stuff ive said and done

in fact i can actually see me in 5 minutes time, coming back to your thread just to double check what ive wrote!

(try self hypnosis tapes, they sometimes help me)
 
whiteraven

whiteraven

Member
I used to do this really bad, I still do it sometimes but its gotten better... but then I don't go out much anymore. I still replay some stuff in my head from like years ago that was especially bad. I think what helps me is to remind myself that no one else is going to be making this big of a deal out of it, just breath, try to relax and let it go. Sometimes it works.
 
dooby-duck

dooby-duck

Well-known member
Yes, I think way too much. Replaying embarrassing situations, conflicts, conversations etc... It gets very annoying and frustrating. The best way I have found to lessen them is to interrupt them by thinking STOP. To reinforce this I blink for slightly longer than usual just to break the thought process. It does eventually help. Relaxation techniques can help this too. Distraction is also good.
 
EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
Yeah I usually do that. I replay those situations and think how I should have acted, I think of different outcomes and hate that it happened as ti happened. Yeah, and the best thing is just to STOP thinking about them. Just think: what happened happened it won't change and I am the only one who really cares here, so don't waste time and move on.
 
W

WelshOne

Well-known member
I used to do this when I was in highschool. And sometimes I still think back occassionally about things, but not very much.

I think the best thing to remember is that noone really cares about what happened except you. Try and remember things that you thought were embarassing for other people, and it's likely you can only think of a few from your whole life (personally I can only think of one situation right now.) So it's likely that noone else remembers the things you dwell on, either.

Also, if you can learn to laugh at yourself, you've pretty much got this problem sorted. It's not easy, of course, but a very useful trait/skill.
 
TheLostCause

TheLostCause

Active member
Yeah i've played them over before, one of the reasons i don't like lying in my bed. The worst bit is hangovers. If i've held a conversation with someone locally who i don't know when i've been drinking i fell like a prize tit the next day.
 
whysoserious?

whysoserious?

Active member
Yep i'm a repeat offender (get it ?) always replaying conversations in my head, especially arguments. Always thinking about woulda, coulda, shoulda. Its evolved now from thinking of different outcomes to just "why did you say that" or "i shouldn't have said that" etc...
 
Sinopia

Sinopia

1
sopranos said:
Does any on else constantly replay embarassing situation over and over in their head. my life basically consisted of replaying embarassing moment, or things i precieved to be embarassing, constantly over and over again only interrupted by the creation of more embarrasing moments so i decided to stop going out (I mean like on a friday night or saturday when they mainly occured) and now instead of creating new ones to replay i do it with things that happened over a year ago when i last properly went out with my friends. Anyway i will get to the point does anyone know of any techniques i could use to stop these thoughts as i just cant seem to do it.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Hey Sopranos,

I have the same problem. No matter where I am, but usually I have this embarassed feeling a lot when I'm at home or alone. I just can't get the negative thoughts out of my mind. These thoughts just makes me feel like I've failed again and that I'm not smart enough compared to other people. I just think that other people hate me. I think that they laugh at me all the time, because of my embarassed moments. It's driving me nuts. When I'm with my friends, I have less of these ****ed up thoughts, because I'm having fun then, which means it temporary gives me relaxation. So, if you don't want to think about those moments every day... I advice you to go do something for fun, just do whatever you like to do.
 
Lonelykitsune

Lonelykitsune

Well-known member
exactly the same here.anytime ive ever plucked up the nerv to try and be social i just rplay the incidnt in my head,thinking its mbarrasing and cursing myself for being so stupid.the other people most likely didnt notic or care but i cant stop replaying them though.
 
Voltar

Voltar

Member
The best way I've found to combat this is to stay busy as much as possible and keep moving forward, having new experiences and generally trying to concentrate on the future. I've had some horribly embarrassing times in my life after which I have tried to shut down every form of action to contemplate each disaster on my own. After a while I realised that if I keep reflecting on every bad thing that happens, after a while my life would just be a reflection of reflections without anything new taking place.

To keep things in perspective, try to think of embarrassing and stressful memories as opportunities for growth, except those where you were drunk, that was definitely your fault :D. After all, you survived the experience.

One thing I have noticed about a lot of people on this forum, and forgive me for being captain obvious here, is that we are incredibly unforgiving to ourselves. Like our inner voices are real a$$holes and we are constantly beating ourselves up unnecessarily. Well, I can't say I've mastered my inner voice but sometimes you just have to tell it to shut the hell up lol.
 
sullyS1985

sullyS1985

Well-known member
I think you could use this replay function positively if you would just analyze why it was embarassing and look deeper into the assumptions you have made regarding what you percieved as other peoples negative reactions. It may not work but if you carefully analyze each thought you may realize that in retrospect, the experience was not as bad as you had thought.
 
R

redhead042

Active member
sopranos said:
Does any on else constantly replay embarassing situation over and over in their head. my life basically consisted of replaying embarassing moment, or things i precieved to be embarassing, constantly over and over again only interrupted by the creation of more embarrasing moments so i decided to stop going out (I mean like on a friday night or saturday when they mainly occured) and now instead of creating new ones to replay i do it with things that happened over a year ago when i last properly went out with my friends. Anyway i will get to the point does anyone know of any techniques i could use to stop these thoughts as i just cant seem to do it.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

definately things that have happened years ago and forgotten about and i'll be thinging of something and it will just remind of the situation and i,ll put my head in my hands and just have a feeling of utter embarrassment
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm constantly replaying embarrassing situations over and over again in my head, too. Even situations that happened way back in elementary school. I've always thought about these situations, and I still haven't found a way to stop.
 
ILovePocky

ILovePocky

Well-known member
I do this all the time. It keeps me up at night sometimes because I can't stop myself from thinking about all the stupid and embarrassing things I've said and done.
 
Mokkat

Mokkat

Well-known member
Yeah I do this as well. Like cringing over my failure interacting with women I have liked over the years :(

Its a part of coping with social anxiety in a "normal" world. We do what we can to appear normal to people, and in doing so we process and reflect on a lot of thoughts and ideas so we dont fail to do so - embarrassment is essentially failure, so it takes up a lot of resources in our heads to help us steer clear of it.
Needs a good deal of CBT to rewire I guess


Edit: Actually, while I consider myself a creative person, 95% of my creative energy goes is diverted into negative pondering and avoiding doing anything constructive because of the chance that people will ridicule me or act superior to me. The only creative energy I spend is used for doing really clever jokes and conversations with friends I am comfortable with and have a cermented appearance to
 
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