Doing well! And question to social phobics..

PhillyFlyersGrl

PhillyFlyersGrl

1
Haven't been on here in quite a while. I've been doing really well. The Celexa has been a life saver. Anyone looking to go on medication try Celexa, it may not work for everyone but it has helped me.
Some updates on me, most of you guys are probably new but to the people that have been on here a while, I moved in with my fiance' and we got a dog and I'm getting married in less then 2 months! I have to be honest though and say even though the medication helps I don't know if it will help me through my wedding day. I obviously hate being the center of attention.
Has anyone here got married with Social phobia and made it through their wedding day okay??
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
Congrats, that's wonderful news. :)

I was phenomenally wasted during my wedding in '07 (divorced again two years later). I could barely stand up and the entire place was spinning. I pulled it off somehow, but I think people must've known, especially with how glazed-over I was during the ring exchange. So I definitely don't recommend doing it that way. I think that if you go the natural route (ie. no alcohol or other substances) that the adrenaline will kick in and that you'll get through it fine regardless. Good luck. :)
 
Madix

Madix

Well-known member
thats awesome. enjoy ur wedding day. very important celebration in your life.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Thats great to hear you have made a lot of progress PhillyFlyersGrl!:)
Maybe if you just concentrate on the reason why you are getting married, on the day. That may help you to feel any anxiety you experience is worth it!:cool: Good luck.
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Congratulations!! :)

You are brave!! :)

I'd probably do it Julia Roberts style - just me and my man, under a tree, in nature.. not many people around.. can you do it in a way to minimize amount of people in your eyesight? oh you'll have the veil probably anyway - maybe you can just do the 'tunnel vision' thing and focus on your man, yup?

Everyone will be happy for you and there to cheer you on tho, and if you have some good friends or relatives you like coming, you can focus on those too.. I was a birdesmaid once and was even way too nervous for that (luckily we were three) ha ha.. It was a lovely wedding anyway.. so know even if things don't go so perfectly, or even if you're scared, things can still go well, you can still do it in a good way and have lovely memories.. some people I know had very small weddings.. like just the 'witnesses'/best man etc and a lunch/dinner party.. some also had closest relatives..

or just pretend the cake will be center of attention anyway? you're just part of the scenery? :)
you'll be just one (but very important!) part of a bigger event... with other people taking place in it too.. little girls who toss flowers or music can distract attention from you too.. maybe you'll even like it? and feel like a rockstar or movie star or superstar or something? :) one of my friends really liked being center of attention.. (I was quite surprised, she's usually more easygoing & laid back too!!) she had a movie-star style wedding dress, maybe that inspired her too?

maybe plan some 'mini-breaks' and time to eat and RELAX into the day? (I probably would, haha.. and make sure to have stuff to eat.. and 'backup plans' for things.. extra clothes/shoes/etc) And to have people (relatives or friends or hired help) in charge of other things, so you just mingle and don't need to think about too many other things?

I think some people on this site are married, you could ask them?
 
RN3

RN3

Active member
I got married a little over a year ago. It was a great time. Unfortunately, there's no getting around being the center of attention. However, the good thing is small talk is going to be centered around the Bride and Groom. So prepare a list of questions and responses that can use during the course of the evening. Although you are the focus turn the focus on to your guest and just try to relax. I hope this helps and CONGRATS on your upcoming nuptials.
 
PhillyFlyersGrl

PhillyFlyersGrl

1
Thanks for the good wishes :)
I just got suprised with a bridal shower at work today, totally shocked me! I think I got through it okay but it was all adreneline. Sitting in front of everyone opening gifts and saying who got it for me was the most nerve racking thing but I got through it all okay I think lol.
 
GoBlue72

GoBlue72

Well-known member
Hi PFG,

I'm pretty new here, and haven't been married. I have given a best man toast once or twice, which is about the closest I can think in relation to being the bride/groom. Only about five minutes of the reception, but in front of hundreds of people. I had a drink of champagne even though I had also taken a low dose of Klonopin that day through my psychiatrist at the time. Luckily, I had a tolerance for both and it managed to help me feel relaxed enough without feeling too nervous or too wasted.

I know a lot of brides/grooms forego most of the heavy drinking to stay upright. But I'm also going to guess a lot of them(even the non SA ones) are taking some sort of medication to help them through. It's just too common of a thing, especially here in the US. From what I've been told, the entire day is a blur for them. So try not to put too much thought into it. Your husband, family, and friends are all there to support and be happy for you. Best of luck!
 
GoBlue72

GoBlue72

Well-known member
Funny that you mentioned eloping. I recently remembered that my grandmother and grandfather eloped. My grandmother also spent her life hating to be the center of attention, and fearing many different situations. Thus, my faith in genetics carrying through generations, sometimes in a negative way and sometimes positively.
 
JamesSmith

JamesSmith

Well-known member
As shy as I am, I absolutely love positive attention. If I do ever get married, I would love my wedding day. I'd be the center of attention. For once in my life, I'd be the guy that has a beautiful woman interested in him, and that woman is willing to spend the rest of her life with me. Wow, that day would be the best day of my life. It seems like such a pipe dream right now in my current situation. I don't even hang out with friends now and am unemployed, so getting a wife would be wayyyy down the road, if it is down the road at all. The best thing about getting married would be the fact that I would be in love. After all this pain and shyness, depression, loneliness, and boredom in my life, to be in love with a woman that loves me back, that would be some kind of accomplishment. I've always believed that anxiety shouldn't be a problem on your wedding day, because you should know for a fact that you know you are in love, and if you know that, there should be nothing to be nervous about. Who cares what the people think that are watching the wedding, you have love. "All you need is love."-Lennon
 
PhillyFlyersGrl

PhillyFlyersGrl

1
Wedding is now 5 days away!!! ahhhhhh! Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous, when I say yes they seem to assume Im nervous about marrying my fiance' when actually the reason is I have S.P. and I have to stand in front of people (doesnt matter thats its people I know) and then have to make small talk at the reception.
I hope to God I make it through and am able to enjoy my wedding. Wish me luck!
 
Hottie

Hottie

Well-known member
Wishing you well on you wedding day...

It will be postivie stress that will be causing you anxiety. Us with SA see stress as negative because we suffer from high stress and anxiety - comstantly!
So it is importand to keep a note in your head, that this is positive stress and anxiety, and it will all be worth it.

Again congratulations,
and try stop worrying so you can enjoy every minute of this...

:)
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
PhillyGrl :) YAY for the wedding!!

Just imagine everyone admiring you and how RELAXED and happy you will be afterwards!

(Most likely you will be tired too, so don't expect too much of yourself & your man, I bet your family and friends will be really happy that you shared this event with them, no matter how it goes!!)

Wishing you luck & that all goes well!! Remember, BREATHE!! :)
 
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