Does Physical apperance really matter to you?

[FriendlyShadow]

Like , if a girl has short hair or chubby/overweight, or if a guy had long hair or if he had glasses. I mean, I'm sure not all people judge others by their appearance, but it's like some people in the world would rather have a good looking person as a mate. I mean, for example some boys would rather choose a girl with long hair over short hair because it shows feminism and that short hair makes a girl look like a guy. I really don't think that's fair because that person can't help what they look like and what if she really can't grow long hair because of health problems or something. Now, I'll admit that I used to judge people by their appearance when I was young, but now that I'm 15, I can learn to look past their physical appearance and appreciate their personality. The only time I judge appearances, is if I rant about my own appearance. Some actors that I like(even a few of them, sadly, don't get much recognition for their acting ability), well even though they aren't the hottest people to walk on earth, I still like their acting in shows/movies and how they act off set. I'm not saying that all good looking people aren't nice, because I'm sure some are. Even famous actors like Elijah Wood or Johnny Depp are good looking to people(and I'll admit they are), but to me it's more than just the physical appearance I focus on, rather then their acting abilities(which the two actors I mention do a good job of portraying characters, IMO) and how they act in interviews/off set/ or how they get along with other actors/directors. I just don't understand why the world is so shallow today. Probably some of you are going to say I'm going to have to deal with it, but I just can't stand how our society wants us to believe in. If I ever date a boyfriend or heck, even a girlfrend in the future(I doubt it'll happen because I have multiple problems of my own like, for example, one of the biggest ones is my dyspraxia, I don't know if some of you know what the condition means but), I wouldn't care what he/she looked like or if he/she was stuck in a wheelchair or is a "too nice" quiet, kind of guy/girl or any of that stuff. It's like nowadays, (again not all people but certain types of people these days) only go for money, judge others for what they look like, popularity, ect. Girls(not all girls) who want a strong, hot looking, rich, man and Boys(not all boys either) who want a, girl with big eyes(and I know this because some websites have said that boys like girls with big eyes because it makes them look innocent. -_-) long hair, girly, skinny ect. That's another thing I don't get. Boys(not all) who choose Girly girls over Tomboys because they are feminime. Even boys or girls(not all) try to change their partner's apperance and for who they are.That's a sign of controlling isn't it? My sister, who is girly, questions why I dress in so called "ugly tomboy guy clothes" and even buys girly things that I don't care for(and yes, I've explained to her why i didn't want to dress girly because I'm not like that but then she said something like"Well if you went out with your girl friends to go shopping wouldn't you pick out girly clothes. I'm surprised she thought I had girl friends because the truth is I don't have any.) , even one of her friends agreed with her and said I was going to change my mind as I get older. Well, sorry for the long post, just something that has been bugging me.

 

[MikeyC]

I mean, for example some boys would rather choose a girl with long hair over short hair because it shows feminism and that short hair makes a girl look like a guy.

I have no shame in admitting I prefer long hair over short hair, but I have seen some very pretty girls with shorter hair.

Now, I'll admit that I used to judge people by their appearance when I was young, but now that I'm 15

Fifteen is still very young! It's good that you have decided this at an early age, though.

I just don't understand why the world is so shallow today.

I think the world has always been quite shallow, but in the age of media, Photoshop, YouTube, and the sexualisation of everything, it's just more prevalent now.

 

[hidwell]

I think physical appearance matters to everybody to some degree, it certainly explains why there are so many single people today.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Well, I have BDD, so obviously *my* appearance matters to me and it bothers me and gives me alot of stress and fuels my self-hatred.

I can say honestly that I've never acted differently/rudely toward anyone no matter how their appearance was.
We are all people and should really show eachother much more love and respect than we do.


As for attraction to same/opposite sex... I can't say anything about that because it's not something I've any experience in.
The world is a shallow place. All I can suggest is that you continue to be yourself and treat others well- despite what the media says how you should be treating them.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

As far as relationships go, it matters a bit, but not a lot. Attraction is part physical and part emotional. But, then again, a person's attraction can be altered by their personality. Of course, I'm not the type of person to shut someone down because I don't like how they look, even if the relationship will only be platonic. Mostly I'm concerned with a person's personality and heart. Looks fade, personality doesn't.

 

[Kinetik]

I think getting over appearances is one of life's toughest tests. Also because I think it's a metaphor in a greater sense as well. We live in a world of smoke and mirrors - so much isn't what it first seems. There are many examples in life where we have to think counter intuitively if we want to see the truth and/or succeed at something. When we take things at face value, we often pay the price for it (naivety), and often the same thing happens when we only appreciate someone for their appearance.

Don't get me wrong, it's normal and natural to judge on appearance at least somewhat, and to have preferences relating to it. But we have to ask ourselves just how far we're taking it sometimes.

 

[bardock]

it does matter to me, but I don't judge over the appearence, and i can get over it quite easily if the person is friendly

 

[Aletheia]

It's foolish to deny that physical appearance has a bearing on sexual attractiveness. We are wired to seek healthy mates and wired to read health as attractive.

That said, for me certainly and I think for most people, physical appearance is just one piece of the puzzle. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone, no matter how hot, if he was callous, close minded or had nothing in common with me. And why should my preference for intelligence be any less shallow or one dimensional or judgemental than my preference for good looks, if taken on its own?

As for long hair and glasses, I've had very attractive boyfriends who've had both. There's no formula for beauty.

 

[MikeyC]

It's foolish to deny that physical appearance has no bearing on sexual attractiveness. We are wired to seek healthy mates and wired to read health as attractive.

Truth.

That said, for me certainly and I think for most people, physical appearance is just one piece of the puzzle. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone, no matter how hot, if he was callous, close minded or had nothing in common with me.

Also truth. I've met physically stunning girls who have had less-than-savoury personalities and that puts me off and then makes her less physically attractive in the process.

 

[Aletheia]

^ Yeah, how I come to see someone as a person definitely impacts on the way I see them physically.

 

[Csea88]

I personally don't judge people by their appearances I use to have a huge crush on someone who was "chubby" and not what others would consider physically beautiful or attractive but he was nice and funny/goofy and I find humor and a good personality to be the most attractive, my current boyfriend has said that "I'm sorry but physical attraction has to be there for me" which I found to be very very shallow I'm just not like that, the most attractive people can be the most ugly...who you are as a person matters most. I had a horrible hair accident at the age of 9 and everyone thought I was a boy because I was too young to be able to tell my sex, so I guess at a young age I realized that appearances don't matter. If you're kind to me and a good person I don't care if you're short,tall,fat,small, ugly or pretty. Who you are as a person matters most, sadly people don't think that way and it takes a while for people to mature and realize what does matter... well that's just how I feel

 

[alwaysrunning]

more than it should. there have been times when i've refused to step foot outside because i felt the way i looked would be harshly judged by anyone i would come in contact with. It's ridicuous i know and yet those thought still run hrough my mind, the more someone tríes to convince me otherwise the angrier i get and the more shut in i become. i am not shallow when it comes to others ,as for me, i guess i just hold myself up to an ideal there is no way in hell i will ever reach.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

everyone has prefrences for physical appearance.
for me someone's personality outweighs their looks. I've found myself attracted to people before that I would never think of as physically attractive but their personality makes them more physically attractive.
Just like if I meet someone that has good looks but they act like a total a-hole, somehow I see them as more physically ugly than before (as well as ugly inside).

 

[Invisibleman]

Unfortunetely my own physical appearance matters a lot more than it should. Everytime I go out I constantly worry about how I look, its detrimental to me enjoying myself a lot of the time::.

The appearance of others though has went through a big change. When I was younger I used to be kinda shallow, but as I got older I started to appreciate girls that before I wouldnt have given a second glance.They are usually the ones with the best personalities. Theres this teacher at school I have a huge crush on:im 17 shes 24 its not THAT strange: . Its unanimous among other guys that shes a disgusting woodsbeast but I think shes gorgeous. She has short red hair with glasses and she wears clothes that are a bit more out there you know, shes so pretty in such an unorthodox way its hard to put into words.

 

[megalon]

It's not the most important thing but there does need to be at least some of it. I used to believe that it was only what was on the inside that mattered, but then I ended up dating a girl who I was not physically attracted to at all, and that just doesn't work. If there's zero attraction, that's not a relationship, it's a platonic friendship.

 

[Iluv]

After being called ugly for so long by my family and friends I say **** appearance. Caring about it so much is like a parasite. I don't care anymore.

 

[MikeyC]

my current boyfriend has said that "I'm sorry but physical attraction has to be there for me" which I found to be very very shallow

I don't think it's shallow. I need to have some kind of physical attraction, too. Personality goes a very long way, for sure, but there's got to be a bit of both.

 

[AGR]

I think it matters at least a bit to everyone,even if you dont like their looks at first,but when you know them better you can find them more attractive,afterall the first thing you associate with a person most of the times is their apperance or when you think about them you will think about their apperance.

 

[Silentknight]

Yes, I do think physical attraction is very important, BUT I do not believe that their is or should be a standard in which men or women should judge themselves by. Everyone has different ideas on what beauty is and that is the way it should be. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to take care of yourself, but any changes you choose to make for yourself, whether it be by losing weight, gaining muscle, plastic surgery, or whatever should be done because YOU want to do them, not because some magazine or prospective gf/bf says you should.

 

[Gaucho]

I think attraction matters to everyone in a love relationship, but that doesn't mean that it has to be attracted to a idealized-society beauty. that can be gothic, person with glasses, or being attracted to a person that doesn't care for looks. also i think, that by saying "i don't judge persons by their appearance, i care more if they are intelligent or clever". thats also shallow, its the same.
Id say, in a love relationship, there has to be attraction, but that can be any type of attraction, and of course personality then comes into the game.
But in a friendrelationship appearance doesn't matter. thats my opinion, i don't judge others by appearance.