Do you think it's really possible to improve social anxiety?

SmileMore

Well-known member
Or are we just kidding ourselves? At the moment i don't think there's much chance of it happening and yes, i am trying. I'd love to hear any stories of people with SA getting better and having a normal life because i don't know of any.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
I am trying but i don't seem to be getting better. I have pretty severe anxiety. I can't even eat in front of most people.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I think some people can change, but it takes a lot of work (whether that be therapy, medications, or something entirely different). I also think it takes a long time and while you may never technically be better, it can become manageable enough that it is not an issue.
 

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
my fiance was like that for a long time. It's really a tough life:(

I think the hardest part is getting over worrying about the thoughts and actions of others as they pertain to you. It's important to care about people's thought and feelings but not so much that it ruins your life.

For a lot of people the simple act of aging and growing older makes all these things seem so much smaller than they are when we're younger. I had to figure out how to enjoy not fitting in before things improved.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
I haven't actually had any therapy or anything like that because i wouldn't know how to go about it. If i went to the doctors they'd think i was weird because i wouldn't even know how to explain my problem.
 

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
do you write? if you don't write,give it a try.start with random words that pop into your head. write them down even if they make no sense.
later try focusing on writing "feeling" words that pop into your mind. Practice like that for a while then start writing the thoughts that come to mind when you read a particular "feeling" word you've written.

example: if the word sad pops into your mind,write it. then later go back and think about what may have made you write the word.then write that down too.

It's a good exercise for articulating your feelings. If you keep doing it,it might help you speak it better. Or you can take the pages and show them to a doctor and simply ask them to help you.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
do you write? if you don't write,give it a try.start with random words that pop into your head. write them down even if they make no sense.
later try focusing on writing "feeling" words that pop into your mind. Practice like that for a while then start writing the thoughts that come to mind when you read a particular "feeling" word you've written.

example: if the word sad pops into your mind,write it. then later go back and think about what may have made you write the word.then write that down too.

It's a good exercise for articulating your feelings. If you keep doing it,it might help you speak it better. Or you can take the pages and show them to a doctor and simply ask them to help you.

I'll try that. Thanks. :)
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
do you write? if you don't write,give it a try.start with random words that pop into your head. write them down even if they make no sense.
later try focusing on writing "feeling" words that pop into your mind. Practice like that for a while then start writing the thoughts that come to mind when you read a particular "feeling" word you've written.

A similar technique that i try to use is whenever i feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts, depressive thoughts, etc, i try to write a list of positives... such as I have survived through worse and am still standing, i have my beautiful pets, i finished a course, etc...

They can even be much smaller things, i enjoyed the weather today, i achieved all i set out to do today, i treated myself to a smoothie today, etc

Try and counteract negative thoughts by giving positive ones a chance to be heard as well. ( was going to post similar in your thread about happy people but it works here too)
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
A similar technique that i try to use is whenever i feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts, depressive thoughts, etc, i try to write a list of positives... such as I have survived through worse and am still standing, i have my beautiful pets, i finished a course, etc...

They can even be much smaller things, i enjoyed the weather today, i achieved all i set out to do today, i treated myself to a smoothie today, etc

Try and counteract negative thoughts by giving positive ones a chance to be heard as well. ( was going to post similar in your thread about happy people but it works here too)

I'll try. When i'm depressed i tend to take my anger out on other people. I hate myself for doing it but it's hard seeing other people living happy lives and i'm left behind. I know i'm a good person and i deserve to be happy but i don't think i ever will be.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I'll try. When i'm depressed i tend to take my anger out on other people. I hate myself for doing it but it's hard seeing other people living happy lives and i'm left behind. I know i'm a good person and i deserve to be happy but i don't think i ever will be.

It is hard to watch other people live happier lives, it was something i struggled with often growing up.

However as long as you persist in thinking that you wont ever be happy the longer you are trapping yourself in the depressive cycle, speaking out loud self affirmations is a technique many of my former therapists have suggested. (I too suffer depression, along with a whole long list of other disorders) Whenever you think i wont ever be happy, stop yourself, give yourself a mental shake and say out loud, i can beat this, i will beat this, i will be happy, i deserve to be happy. things like that whenever you find yourself feeling hopeless about the future.
 
Better

I certainly think it's possible to improve. You may not ever cure yourself of everything, and it's important not to let your expectations and hopes get too high or else you may just be kidding yourself. However, I certainly belief people can get better. It's a slow process, and things can change over time. I haven't really gotten too much better, but I still hope to improve somehow. I just haven't found the best way to go about it yet. People do get better though, so it certainly isn't anything that is completely out of reach.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
The only thing i can say i've accomplished is passing my driving test and managing to keep a full time job for 6 years. Not exactly something to celebrate.
 

sahxox

Well-known member
The only thing i can say i've accomplished is passing my driving test and managing to keep a full time job for 6 years. Not exactly something to celebrate.

I think it's great that people with social phobia can go out and maintain a job. From personal experience, I think it is something to be proud of. Everyday we battle these fears no-one else appears to have, yet we still go back and keep fighting. Takes real strength :)
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I keep trying. Sometimes I've won. I've even felt happy. That is one of my greatest achievements. I'm not sure I've improved much, but I have lived moment that make it worth keeping on trying
 

Quirk87

Banned
People do improve, even though sometimes it feels like you can't.
Sometimes people are able to at the very least manage their anxiety to acceptable levels, or find ways that to minimize those feelings. For many of us, anxiety will most likely always be a prominent part of our lives, affecting us in a more severe way than others who may have developed more resiliency to lifes natural stressors. People will have different weaknesses and strengths and it's important to keep your expectations realistic and work within what you are capable of.
It is also important to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small - because it is those achievements that will increase your self belief for positive change. It will keep your mind healthy and robust. One last thing, is that it is OK to feel anxious, to feel sad, to be afraid or to feel down once in awhile - they are all part of the human experience, and there is no need to label yourself as anything other than being human when you experience these feelings.
 

tonicobastos

Active member
From what I've read in social anxiety forums, most people seem unable to get much better, just small improvements here and there. It seems that those few people that were able to get "cured" did so at an early age, usually their late teens.
 

laure15

Well-known member
People do improve, even though sometimes it feels like you can't.
Sometimes people are able to at the very least manage their anxiety to acceptable levels, or find ways that to minimize those feelings. For many of us, anxiety will most likely always be a prominent part of our lives, affecting us in a more severe way than others who may have developed more resiliency to lifes natural stressors. People will have different weaknesses and strengths and it's important to keep your expectations realistic and work within what you are capable of.
It is also important to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small - because it is those achievements that will increase your self belief for positive change. It will keep your mind healthy and robust. One last thing, is that it is OK to feel anxious, to feel sad, to be afraid or to feel down once in awhile - they are all part of the human experience, and there is no need to label yourself as anything other than being human when you experience these feelings.

Very good advice. For me, life goes like this: failure, failure, success, failure, failure, failure, success...There's a lot more of what we perceive as failures than successes. It's very rare that someone is successful all the time, like when someone has a lucky streak. But like you said, it's important to acknowledge our successes.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
Sure, it's possible. I weakened my SA a lot over the years.

A decade ago I was nearly unable to utter a word in a social situation. And now? Yesterday I had some friends over for a cooking evening, and in a month I'll have some friends over to celebrate my birthday. :) Do those events make me nervous? Sure, slightly. But I enjoy them more than I fear them. So things get better.
 

Capsaicin

Well-known member
Yes, people can improve. It's dependent on how the individual experiences it, the resources available, and how they choose to handle it, though. Everyone's journey out won't be the same and it's hard to predict where someone will be a year, three years, or ten years from now.

I currently hold a job where my primary role is to work one-on-one with strangers, which I couldn't have done five years ago.
 
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