Eristelle
Well-known member
I'm sure you have many redeeming qualities, Its your SA blinds you from the real you
My SA must of gouged my eyes out.
Do you sometimes hate yourself?
- Thread starter sillyrabbit231
- Start date
My SA must of gouged my eyes out.
Eristelle
Well-known member
Why didn't I come up with that user name?
I beat you by 1 month so you could not have it anyways. At the time I joined on here I hated myself so much that when I looked in the mirror I would get dizzy spells.
Eristelle
Well-known member
Not true! I could have used SelfHaterr, two r's. Not original, but still. I hate myself so much I taped my mirror. It's been like that for months now.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
yes but not all the time. When I feel like I'm not being myself, just going around myself or puting up some kind of barrier (sarcasm or something). Also when I am embarrassed I have a habit of beating myself up mentally and hating myself extremely. Lastly when stressed, and I don't make a conscious effort to love myself, I will end up using self hatred + others as self destruction method
I used to really hate myself becuase just seems like life would be much easier if I wasn't me =/ but now I don't as much because I am who I am and always will be and sadly there is nothing I can do about it and I have learned to accept it it makes things much easier I feel
it makes things much easier I feel
hidwell
Well-known member
Flowers-Of-Bloom
Well-known member
I get these aggressive, chaotic thoughts that are directed at myself when I do the slightest thing wrong. Sometimes I want to tear off my skin and abuse myself, but they are only urges and I usually do not carry them out. It is difficult living with someone that you do not like, especially when that person is you.
Feeling_Nothing
Well-known member
Sometimes? Most of the time yes. Mostly due to being so insecure, low self esteem and low confidence. I also have trust issues since I have been hurt too many times, I guess you could call it a defence system to limit the amount of sadness afterwards...
hidwell
Well-known member
I just wanted to add some things.... perhaps it will help some of you. I am not real good at explaining things well.
Over 20 years ago in high school I hated myself real badly. Trying to overcome my SA and other things that I perceived as faults in myself I became a perfectionist. Nobody is perfect, mistakes do happen, this is an impossible way to live. I realized this eventually and thought I had the answer. Do not sweat the small stuff. In fact do not sweat anything at all. I became one of those people that could shrug anything off. Although I still had SA it was greatly reduced. I was so laid back. I lived a "successful life" but something always hanged over me, not totally happy.
The problem was though that being so passive I became a ticking time bomb. There was a lot of things I was not addressing. My marriage sucked. My job sucked. Made a bad business decision and had to sell my house. My wife ran up credit card dept and I had to cash out my 401K. The company I was working for went out of business. My 20 year class reunion was happening all at this same time. I was jobless and broke. How did this happen? It was like I threw away 20 years of my life. Stating from zero and feeling like I did 20 years ago in high school. After all I still always over analyzed everything.
What I realized is this. I did not kick my SA as much I thought. I did not want confrontation so my shrug everything off way was just a way of not confronting my problems. My new simple theory is this from studying my life's experiences. Almost everybody has an issue, there is no such thing as a "normal person." We are taught at a very young age what a "normal" person should act like even though there is no such thing. I was living under societies rules as to what a productive "normal" person should be doing. In the end it comes down to this. I will be me and I do not care what others think. If I want to stay in my house all day it is fine. If I venture out that is ok too. I am still a nice guy but if you piss me off you are going to know it. Today's society is way more screwed up then me.
I have a new job with good pay. My marriage is getting better but still a work in progress. Some days I have a hate myself setback day when I start filling my head with the old way of self doubt thinking. Then I just got to realize where that comes from again and get back on track.
I hope this is more then just a ramble.
Over 20 years ago in high school I hated myself real badly. Trying to overcome my SA and other things that I perceived as faults in myself I became a perfectionist. Nobody is perfect, mistakes do happen, this is an impossible way to live. I realized this eventually and thought I had the answer. Do not sweat the small stuff. In fact do not sweat anything at all. I became one of those people that could shrug anything off. Although I still had SA it was greatly reduced. I was so laid back. I lived a "successful life" but something always hanged over me, not totally happy.
The problem was though that being so passive I became a ticking time bomb. There was a lot of things I was not addressing. My marriage sucked. My job sucked. Made a bad business decision and had to sell my house. My wife ran up credit card dept and I had to cash out my 401K. The company I was working for went out of business. My 20 year class reunion was happening all at this same time. I was jobless and broke. How did this happen? It was like I threw away 20 years of my life. Stating from zero and feeling like I did 20 years ago in high school. After all I still always over analyzed everything.
What I realized is this. I did not kick my SA as much I thought. I did not want confrontation so my shrug everything off way was just a way of not confronting my problems. My new simple theory is this from studying my life's experiences. Almost everybody has an issue, there is no such thing as a "normal person." We are taught at a very young age what a "normal" person should act like even though there is no such thing. I was living under societies rules as to what a productive "normal" person should be doing. In the end it comes down to this. I will be me and I do not care what others think. If I want to stay in my house all day it is fine. If I venture out that is ok too. I am still a nice guy but if you piss me off you are going to know it. Today's society is way more screwed up then me.
I have a new job with good pay. My marriage is getting better but still a work in progress. Some days I have a hate myself setback day when I start filling my head with the old way of self doubt thinking. Then I just got to realize where that comes from again and get back on track.
I hope this is more then just a ramble.
knowledgeofself
Well-known member
not just sometimes, quite often really.
anxiety1408
Well-known member
Often.....
MikeyC
Well-known member
I like you.
