Do you socialize as poorly online as you do in real life?

[Richey]

in person i can go from confident and relaxed to autistic and conversationally retarded within a very short space of time ...in fact today at work i said nearly nothing and when i did talk i said something that i've repeated a few times to one person and she said "you always say that" ..

i just want to be relaxed and interesting but i think i come across as autistic and stupid for the most part, in person. when under pressure.

 

[SPV]

I know it may sound ridiculous, but sometimes I fear that someone from the internet might recognize me even if I remain anonymous. I guess it's about the way I write... I think the fear started back when I chatted with a friend I knew from school, he and I used to talk a lot in the internet, after that, it's been a while since I spoke with him, I went online weeks later with a different email and I pretended to be someone else, and then he immediately recognized me and said "Is that you "..." ?".
I just know that there's something about the way I write that makes me very recognizable in the internet.. I'm weird I know..

 

[Starlight87]

On the chat you dont look anyone in the eyes you can speak and nothing says "oh you look so bad" or "oh i think your hair is to short or to long"

At the chat its like to talk to people who think "its great to speak with her/him".

I can feel me sure because i can click "ignore" or "stop" than is the people out of my life in the real life doesent give any button who i can click that...

 

[alspacka]

I socialize almost as poorly online as I do in real life, I don't know it all just seems so set in stone. Even IM's, people can keep logs, exchange those etc..

I just dread people getting to know me and then making fun at me behind my back.

For instance, the far fetched thought that people that I know would somehow find this forum and link these posts to me is kinda making it difficult.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I socialise soooooooooooooooo much better online as it's the face to face interaction that freaks me out the most. Online I can be myself as there isn't the same kind of pressure. I still like to be polite when online though, and never pretend to be anything that I'm not.

That pretty much sums it up for myself as well. Thanks.

 

[lithiumflower]

I used to do well online but it seems like over the past couple years I have trouble finding people to talk to and if I do find anyone, I can't keep up a conversation if we don't have similar interests

 

[chrisjurban]

Yeah can't do it. I can post feelings but if someone tried to talk to me outside of the post I ignore them. I can't do it. I can't text message either.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I know it may sound ridiculous, but sometimes I fear that someone from the internet might recognize me even if I remain anonymous. I guess it's about the way I write... I think the fear started back when I chatted with a friend I knew from school, he and I used to talk a lot in the internet, after that, it's been a while since I spoke with him, I went online weeks later with a different email and I pretended to be someone else, and then he immediately recognized me and said "Is that you "..." ?".
I just know that there's something about the way I write that makes me very recognizable in the internet.. I'm weird I know..

It's not impossible. That's why I like to use different screen names around the internet. I've actually come across someone in the forums here who just might be someone I know from another (unrelated) website.:: He uses the same name, is from the same place, and has some similar interests. But of course I'm afraid to ask. Any random site on the net and I'd have no problem asking "hey, are you on <insert website>?" But if I happen to be wrong and it's not the same guy, then I don't exactly want to admit to being here.:: It's been bugging the hell outta me since I joined this place. I've been debating whether to even ask at all but if I do I have to figure out how to bring it up without giving away the website. I can't just blurt out "hey, do you have social anxiety?" We get along pretty well but we don't chat all that often. I talked to him not too long ago and I had to try and act normal but it was driving me nuts. Maybe I'll just see if anything else gives me a clue next time I talk to him. *sigh* I dunno...

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yeah can't do it. I can post feelings but if someone tried to talk to me outside of the post I ignore them. I can't do it. I can't text message either.

I can't text message either - end up pushing too many buttons at once. Is it because you can't or you won't?

 

[xLindziex]

Sometimes.

By that I mean, it depends on the circumstances, I guess.

When I find someone with the same interests as me online and someone who actually makes an effort to talk to me, it's easy. That's probably one of the reasons I'm not too good at socializing in real life; because I don't know a lot of people with those same interests and it just grows comfortable.

But when I'm new to a community like right now, I backspace like crazy and think I'm going to say something wrong or not going to say enough, or maybe even too much. I get just as nervous then because no one knows me and I think "what if they think I'm weird?" or something along those lines. But I force myself to hit "submit reply" because I have stuff to say and don't want to not reply to someone who's being nice just because I worry too much.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Sometimes.

By that I mean, it depends on the circumstances, I guess.

When I find someone with the same interests as me online and someone who actually makes an effort to talk to me, it's easy. That's probably one of the reasons I'm not too good at socializing in real life; because I don't know a lot of people with those same interests and it just grows comfortable.

But when I'm new to a community like right now, I backspace like crazy and think I'm going to say something wrong or not going to say enough, or maybe even too much. I get just as nervous then because no one knows me and I think "what if they think I'm weird?" or something along those lines. But I force myself to hit "submit reply" because I have stuff to say and don't want to not reply to someone who's being nice just because I worry too much.

Yeah. Too bad no backspace in Socialworld. Sometimes hover the rat's pointer over submit for a while. Make it right. I have read my reply three times now. This is not cool.

 

[xLindziex]

Yeah. Too bad no backspace in Socialworld. Sometimes hover the rat's pointer over submit for a while. Make it right. I have read my reply three times now. This is not cool.

Oh, if only there was! It'd be so much easier! It's quite annoying contemplating what to say. Then there's the feeling of being ridiculous for taking so long to think of and type a reply when sometimes you don't even sumbit it. And even when you do, it's not quite what you wanted to say, but at the same time you feel like you don't know what else you could've said.

And now I just realized I was talking in second person the whole time. Oops lol

 

[Sial Axetder]

On the positive side this is much easier. In reality it takes time to find right words. Thinking they might become annoyed so speak faster. Not good idea. More often than not it goes backwards or hung - word is not there. Speaking numbers - 34 will become 43 I hear 34 they do not. Seperate problem maybe.

 

[xLindziex]

On the positive side this is much easier. In reality it takes time to find right words. Thinking they might become annoyed so speak faster. Not good idea. More often than not it goes backwards or hung - word is not there. Speaking numbers - 34 will become 43 I hear 34 they do not. Seperate problem maybe.

True. That sounds like dyslexia, I think? Same thing happens to me too. Now I'm starting to wonder if it's just another piece of extra baggage that comes along with SA as well, just out of nervous habit. I constantly find myself backtracking when talking to people. It's just not a normal activity, so it causes panic, which causes fast talking -like you said.

Why does such a thing like this even exist?

 

[Sial Axetder]

True. That sounds like dyslexia, I think? Same thing happens to me too. Now I'm starting to wonder if it's just another piece of extra baggage that comes along with SA as well, just out of nervous habit. I constantly find myself backtracking when talking to people. It's just not a normal activity, so it causes panic, which causes fast talking -like you said.

Why does such a thing like this even exist?

Dyslexia, strange word. Do not see it spelt often. Your question, possibly others can answer better. I can only offer: (after much thought) I have no idea.

 

[Logical Anxiety]

The opposite. I'm like a social butterfly online! I interact better because I don't really have to actually face who I'm talking to, so I have little to none anxiety.

 

[vj288]

It depends on how you define "socialize." If you consider posting socializing than not at all, still a little uncomfortable but much easier for me. I do not really consider it socializing though, more like participating in class(which I can't do at all). The chatbox and im-ing are much harder for me, because I have to respond and do it in a fairly quick manor. Not having to say things out loud is easier for me in all situations, but it is still not my forte.

 

[fitftw]

I'm better in real life than I am online. I feel so stupid online, but so smart in the real world.

 

[EasySkanking]

i'm much better at engaging in small talk online. face-to-face, i'm nearly incapable.
getting to know someone is drastically more uncomfortable for me in person, especially if i'm attracted to them. i think i've run people off by being either too closed or too OPEN.

Me too. Most of the time I am too "closed". But when I do manage to "open up" I open up too much and scare people away :/. It's probably due to a lack of experience, but whatever ::

 

[fife_girl]

i think im prob better online... :s