Do you remember when you realized that you had a problem?

[EscapeArtist]

For me it began when I was on the bus around the age of 14, and pondered whether everybody else also spent the entire bus ride nervously stressing over the 'thank you' that one must say to the bus driver before stepping off.
And you?

 

[Dr. Doom]

Probably in 8th grade, when I saw alot of guys with girlfreinds. And it seemed like it was only the thin emo kids or the football/basketball team guys. I think that's when I started to really get self consious and so I just quit talking to a lot of people and they thought I was being a snob which made me feel bad but I didnt want to explain and I started to get nervous around them. so yeah, 8th grade.

 

[kihira]

On time was in grade six and we had something like a student council meeting and I couldn't say a thing. Thats the earliest I can remember.

Another was at around 20 on a five night trip on an old sailing ship where I felt extremely socialy awkward with no chance of escape...actually, its reminded me that I had a thing for one of the crew, after the trip I asked her out, a rarity for me. She said yes and it went ok but no further. Her name was Katie. I sometimes regret not having chased the opportunity to join a ship as crew, who knows where I might be now.

 

[mmmm]

The "big thing" happened in 2008 when I blushed in a huge crowd of co-workers and everyone turned around and laughed and pointed at me. My brain made it seem like it happened in slow motion with the deep voices and everything. What really hurt my feelings was that among the people who thought the situation was sooo hilarious were a hugely obese woman and a woman who had that Michael Jackson skin disease. I would have expected them to "get it". And besides that, surely rule number one in the workplace is "Thou shalt not discriminate based on skin colour". Red included!!!!!

 

[Falkor]

i remember some times when I thought, what's happening to me? I never knew anything about SA. I thought it was my own dissability.

Some memories:
-I was sitting in the break of school, and feeling very uncomfortable.
I asked the school master If I could spent time in the classroom alone.
He allowed me to sit in class
But the year after, I was just laughing in the break with my friends.
I felt safe in my group of friends. But the year after that, I had a breakthrough and I went to a different school, and 2/10 times I was at school, have been avoiding 8/10 times. But still told everyone how bad I wanted to be there, but I couldn't. Because of this ''fear''.

-Birthday parties during childhood, crying because I was afraid of going.
But still I went, but it was really hard for mom to get me there.
Or sitting in the bathroom of my grandparents while we were having a celebration, or when I was 14, I needed to get some air while sitting in a group of people, and couldn't come back, because I was afraid of their reaction or that they ever would know about my fear.....
(which I didn't know it's called SA)

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I'd come home crying; flop on the floor shaking, unable to move every single day after school since kindergarten.
I was pretty small... It was probably Sr.Kindergarten when mom was home from work early and saw me and said; "You shouldn't be coming home from school like this every day..."

I always assumed-- as far back as I could remember; that something was wrong with me.

 

[Chriiss]

Probably when I was about 14.. I'd get nervous doing simple tasks even little things like going shopping with my Mum.

 

[Moo]

Starting at a new school in year 8, and a few months in having a teacher ask me a questions and one of the other girls responding "dont ask her, she never says anything"

^ This has happened to me soooo many times. ::

I remember this boy once asking me if I could speak english because he had never heard me talk...

I've been terrified of social situations for as long as I remember. Ever since I was very young I was always terrified of meeting family, I still am. School was even worse, I had no friends for a while.

More recently I'm not so bad but I still fret over things like saying thanks to the bus driver.. makes me feel silly but I can't help it.

 

[emerald_star733]

Yes, in my first year of University. I was always outgoing prior(even in college the year before), but something changed in me then.. I had dealt with some traumatic events leading up to this and i think the last event just was the last straw so i withdrew from the world and started to like the withdraw. I purposely didn't want to make new friends and preferred to be alone.. i was in my own little world but also liked it as i found a new world online.. where it was safe, secure, and i don't know really... it just happened.. even now people ask me out to do stuff and i prefer not to.. but i am working on it...

 

[EscapeArtist]

Hey, thanks for sharing your experiences everybody. It sure is interesting to hear

 

[Pacific_Loner]

No, I don't.......

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

There was no specific point for me. I've had social difficulties since I first had to interact with other people, so it was always normal for me. I never so much thought I had a problem as that I was the problem--it's what I was always told, and I believed it.

The shift from thinking I was simply defective and inferior to think I had a problem that I could work on came very gradually with adulthood.

 

[TheMaegus]

I can remember feel the stress of having to be around other people as early as 2nd grade. It got worse as the years went on. High school is really were it started to get bad. I always thought I was just weird, that it was just me. It wasn't until after college, probably 2001, I saw a commercial on TV( for Paxil I believe) of a teenage girl walking thru the school cafeteria, cringing in fear at all the people around her. That's the first time I heard the words Social Anxiety Disorder. And while I hate that it's called a disorder, it was a relief to finally know that it wasn't just me.

 

[planemo]

One of my earliest memories (at age 4 I think) was probably my first realization that I was not quite like everyone else. I was all alone in our apartment and I didn't feel like being around anyone. I think I fled my grandparents apartment two floors above me. All my family and relatives were there and I wanted to be on my own. So I went back down to our place, switched on the tv and tried to forget my reality.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

There was no specific point for me. I've had social difficulties since I first had to interact with other people, so it was always normal for me. I never so much thought I had a problem as that I was the problem--it's what I was always told, and I believed it.

The shift from thinking I was simply defective and inferior to think I had a problem that I could work on came very gradually with adulthood.

Well you explained with words what I actually meant to say ::

 

[vj288]

I have an idea of when my problems started, difficult to pinpoint specific experiences. The more I think about it lately the more confused I am about what exactly is my real problem, but that is off topic (sorry). Um, definitely 7th grade, I know that for sure. I remember sort of coming to various realizations and becoming more aware of things. I'm starting to think I had a moral/social conflict overlap, meaning something that was one started to be another. Remember thinking something along the lines of what would so-and-so think if they knew or I bet so-and-so would never do this. Unfortunately I didn't know what was going on (I knew I was making some sort of conscious decision, beside the point) so I didn't take notes at the time, so it's really hard to know.

So the short answer (or answer that actually makes any sort of sense) is that I have a general idea of when I knew something was wrong, but what I thought was wrong is a bit different than I think now (for the most part) and am honestly not sure when I started to think it was a shyness/avpd problem and not a character flaw. (that answer wasn't much better.)

 

[Phoenixx]

When I was about 13 or 14 I started to become extremely shy, fearing most social situations. I realized I was A LOT shyer than everyone else, but I didn't really know that there was an actual term for it. I just figured it was just me and I was the only one who felt that way. It actually wasn't until over the summer I had come across stuff about SA, and just about every single symptom fit me exactly.

 

[Kinetik]

I suppose I've always considered it my 'currency' to be alone and not feel comfortable interacting with people, from a very early age onwards. I guess I must've been about 4-5 years old when I realized I was 'different'. I just know to this day that I'm at my best by myself. Either way, I do remember always having unpleasant feelings around the other kids at school and often wishing I could just get home and do my own thing. I was never bullied and didn't have any serious social problems per se, but I always wanted to get the f- out so I could feel at ease. I was okay during school and college, but again, with a total lack of extra-curricular activities. I simply didn't want to hang out with people on the weekends or have anyone stay over my place. That feeling has very much continued into adulthood, and now I'm happy to live alone and only interact with others when I absolutely need to. Probably not the healthiest setup, but there you go.

 

[Kiwong]

It was in year 8 at high school. I started to cop homophobic teasing from people in my year for something I did in primary school with another boy. I did similar stuff with girls as well, but never copped any greif for that.

Anyway, I began to become fearful because I thought the bullies would pick on me even more if I didn't walk right. It messed up my head so much I couldn't walk properly when anyone was watching me. Kids used to start following me an imitate my walk and call me monkey man.

I kind of disowned people altogether for a while. I used to stand alone by the quadrangle wall on my own, and cling on for dear life. I used to wait until everyone else had gone back to class, before I thought I was safe from being teased for the way I walked. I started being called Dero, kids pinched my bum, called me sexless, stiff arm tackles at touch football.

I call that place a pathetic excuse for a place of learning.

 

[Minty]

I've always felt like I had problems but I thought they were the normal problems associated with growing up. I thought every one was like me, just better at dealing with it.

You don't realize you have a problem when social anxiety has always been with you and you don't know any different.

I realized I had a problem in high school. I learned about SA in my psychology class. It was weird hearing a teacher who barely knew me and barely acknowledged my existence list off all my traits from a text book.