Do you remember when you realized that you had a problem?
- Thread starter EscapeArtist
- Start date
*Amy*
Well-known member
I always new I was a shy person, and I knew that was not good. But anyway, I thought I was just shy, that was all. It was not until last year, when I began losing some of my friends, that I asked myself why this had happened so often throughout my life and realised it was because of my shyness. I began looking for information on the causes and the description of shyness, and how it could be cured, and then I found out about social phobia. Until then I didn't know that my problem was not only shyness, but something more serious.
It was back in secondary school when I tried to talk to people in my class and make friends with them. Somehow I got scared and withdrew myself when I realised they all talked to and befriended each other almost effortlessly while I struggled.
I guess I didn't realise I had a problem earlier because I'd been born shy and never really knew what it was like to be perfectly sociable.
I guess I didn't realise I had a problem earlier because I'd been born shy and never really knew what it was like to be perfectly sociable.
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Now that I think about it, I never really viewed it as being a problem. All my life I felt that I was different in a way. Never really understood why until relatively recent.
The difficulties were apparent, though. About a year before I went to highschool, the prospect of getting- and maintaining a job were terrifying. And, the yearly camping trips were hell. That also highlighted it.
But back then I had far worse things to worry about then just social phobia, for all intents and purposes, I just pushed it into a very low state of priority. It turned out to be both a good- and bad decision.
It lead to being scared almost constantly and did great damage that seems to be rooted deep in my personality. But it also gave me willpower that few can few of my age can match. Though, the latter often leads to pushing myself to a point were I'm in physical danger due to exhaustion, malnutrition or dehydration. I have to (consciously) balance it.
To this day, even though I know what the feelings and tendencies are caused by, I don't see my fear of people as a problem. I see it as a obstacle.
To illustrate how I see it;
A broken bridge over a cliff is a problem,
A broken bridge over a slow flowing river is an obstacle.
When in trouble; swim. :
:
The difficulties were apparent, though. About a year before I went to highschool, the prospect of getting- and maintaining a job were terrifying. And, the yearly camping trips were hell. That also highlighted it.
But back then I had far worse things to worry about then just social phobia, for all intents and purposes, I just pushed it into a very low state of priority. It turned out to be both a good- and bad decision.
It lead to being scared almost constantly and did great damage that seems to be rooted deep in my personality. But it also gave me willpower that few can few of my age can match. Though, the latter often leads to pushing myself to a point were I'm in physical danger due to exhaustion, malnutrition or dehydration. I have to (consciously) balance it.
To this day, even though I know what the feelings and tendencies are caused by, I don't see my fear of people as a problem. I see it as a obstacle.
To illustrate how I see it;
A broken bridge over a cliff is a problem,
A broken bridge over a slow flowing river is an obstacle.
When in trouble; swim. :
:
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hoddesdon
Well-known member
I was on the Manly ferry when I saw someone from school heading straight for me. The previous year we used to walk through the corridors commuting from one class to the next while discussing the true meaning of life etc. This time I really did not want to see him, and changed seats a number of times, but he kept following. I ended up on the outer deck, and he followed me there as well. A one-sided conversation ensued - since the next step would have been diving into Sydney Harbour - and I thought it odd that he did not seem to notice anything. That fact supports something from Behavioural Cognitive Therapy - others do not always perceive your performance as negatively as you do.