Do you have an older sibling that makes fun of you?

[FriendlyShadow]

Because my sister is like a really outgoing person and she tends to say hurtful jokes at me. Like, one time(and this is a great example) I was sleeping over her house and she started to go a little crazy and obnoxious. And then she said to me You look like something my dog Cr#pped out.(Maybe I can't blame her for saying that since how ugly I am.)And then she tells me that again and I just got so hurt and I just walked away and cried in the other bedroom. And the worst part is she didn't even apologize. I know she has an outgoing personality, and likes to make jokes, but she has crossed the line for that one. And then she'll say stuff like "Jamie is a butt crack. But I still love you" "Your a lump of crap" but jokingly(I'm not sure if she really is joking and she doesn't know why that offends me so much.) I'm a very easily emotional person sensitive at that and she just doesn't care about my feelings. How would she feel if I said that stuff to her? Probably nothing. It makes me sad when she does this.

 

[MikeyC]

Have you told her how much her verbal abuse hurts you?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

It may help for you to tell her that her words really hurt you-- but I find that when you're teenagers; the teasing is the worst.

When my sister was in highschool, she would beat me up and call me names all the time and make fun of me for not having any friends.
We'd fist fight, even-- that's the way it was until she moved away to University and lived on her own.

After living apart for awhile, we started to get along much better.
I can say the same thing has worked for my friend and her sister as well-- they are good friends now; whereas just 2 years ago, they hated eachother.
Living apart and maturing apart is probably the best cure to a problem like this...
well... second to actually talking about your problems, maybe?

 

[Iluv]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. ::. I can relate. My sibling is outgoing and social as well. Except with me he doesn't put it like a joke, it's serious or say 'I love you but...'.

Verbal abuse is terrible nobody deserves that. Hopefully you can talk to her and work things out.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Have you told her how much her verbal abuse hurts you?

No. I mean its not that she physically hurts me(though she can be pushy), but the way and how she's joking to me and trying to change me hurts.

 

[MikeyC]

No. I mean its not that she physically hurts me, but the way and how she's joking to me and trying to change me hurts.

Then tell her that. If she continues to be abusive then you know you shouldn't associate with her too much (as hard and upsetting as that will be).

I guess I was lucky that my brother is smaller and younger than me, and I always had the upper hand physically. I never bashed him or anything, but if it ever came to it, I would win. I would win today, too. We got along, anyway. Sorry to hear you're suffering through this. It's a little difficult for me to relate.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

And the worst part is when i tell other people this, they say I'm just being sensitive and that i should lighten up. I may not have the same bubbly personality that she does, but that doesn't give her the right to treat me like and make me feel like cr@p and making me feel bad about myself. It just angers me.

 

[Phoenixx]

I completely understand what you're going through, lions. My brother is the same way with me and has been verbally abusing me for 6 years. I won't type everything he's said to me or has called me (he's made up a lot of nicknames over the years. -.-) here as some of it is quite explicit, but he's most often told me that I'm "ugly," "fat," "stupid," (I really don't take offense to this much because I've always been smarter than him. He only says it out of jealousy I think.) a "failure" for not having a boyfriend/relationship with anyone, oh and sometimes he calls me a "lesbian" because I don't have one either, also a "failure" because I don't have many friends, and "a bitch." Yes, half the time he's said these things I've cried over it, but other times we've gotten into such nasty verbal arguments I won't even type what we've said to each other here. :X The way we act now, you wouldn't believe that when we were younger we got along incredibly well. Really, we were always playing games together, talking to each other, and we would look out for each other and laugh together. He's turned into a completely different person since then and why he turned out so narcissistic and rude I don't know.

There are times we do get along though. Just now I was playing Borderlands on the Xbox with him. So far it's the only thing that we can do together for hours without breaking into an argument.

I agree with Weirdy that the best thing for this is (if you're able to) living apart and just separating from each other. I noticed when I went to university last semester and lived away from home in dorms, whenever I saw my brother we got along better. Now that I'm living back at home, some days we're ready to kill each other.

 

[sullyS25]

My brother beat the piss out of me in front of my friends and mocked me in front of them daily to the point where I wouldn't invite new friends over out of the fear of being embarrassed. The way he treated me certainly had something to do with my constant fear of being criticized and rejected. It isn't ok for your sister to do that and you should let her know if you haven't.

It is sad that you blame yourself because it has nothing to do with you. It is all about her feeling insecure and taking it out on you. That was the case with my brother and I can guarantee it is the case with your sister. She may put on this front like she has everything going well for her but it isn't the case or she wouldn't treat you the way she does.

I have forgiven my brother for the way he treated me because I realized that holding that anger in did nothing but hurt me. I have learned how to cope with my feelings of inferiority and my constant fear of rejection....

Thank you for this post, it brings up memories for me and I want you to know that it isn't your fault

 

[Silatuyok]

I have seven older siblings who used to poke fun at me pretty much constantly. It was all in good fun, and I'm sure they never intended it to screw me up, but yeah it pretty much did. I was a very sensitive child and I guess they thought that was funny.

 

[Eristelle]

My sister has more anger issues than am abusive man that beats his wife. She's overconfident and has the tolerance of a bird eating spider. My anxiety looks like a pathetic excuse to her. Sad thing is, she can do everything perfectly and I can't do half the stuff she does. She said something quite hurtful to me today. Apparently the cat I raised from 5 weeks old and litter trained is HER cat. Now, technically she is, BUT, she is the family cat. Besides, even if she did choose her, the moment she did, she left to go somewhere and I had to watch her. I've raised that cat to the point she likely sees me as a mother figure than her.

The only reason WHY she decided to claim its her cat is because today I had to make the tough decision to let the other cat go. She refused to go to the shelter with me and basically made me feel horrible. "I don't need to go. MY cat is here. I'm not giving her away. That's YOUR cat."

Even our mother agreed that I took care of "her" cat than she ever did. I clean her litter box, I make sure she stays out of trouble, and I was the one who litter trained her. I was the one who bought her good canned food because I wanted her to eat something better than that dry by product cat food nowadays.

Ugh. Sorry for ranting on your thread. My sister can really get under my skin..

 

[MikeyC]

I envy my brother. Sometimes I wish I was like him.

 

[Srijita52]

No. I mean its not that she physically hurts me(though she can be pushy), but the way and how she's joking to me and trying to change me hurts.

You do need tell her that. You don't have to be all mean, just tell her that how she talks to you sometimes can be hurtful and she needs to stop. If she says that you need to lighten up tell her that you understand she's just joking and doesn't have any bad intention but it still hurts you so she has to stop doing that. Be firm and make her understand by your voice and gesture that its not okay with you.

I envy my brother. Sometimes I wish I was like him.

You're wonderful the way you are Mikey. You definitely don't need to be like someone else

 

[MikeyC]

You're wonderful the way you are Mikey. You definitely don't need to be like someone else

Thank you...but I really, really do.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

My sisters and I joke around with each other. We can say really crude things at times but it is all for fun. Perhaps your sister means it the same way and doesn't mean to hurt you. Talk to her about it.

I have an older brother. We are not on talking terms. He has been very abusive in the past--both verbal and physical. My anxiety no doubt worsened because of it. Maybe one day we will be able to patch things up because something I really want is to have good relationships with my siblings as we really don't have much extended family. It is just so hard.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I envy my brother. Sometimes I wish I was like him.

I know what you mean. Many times I've wished I was more like my sister.

 

[MikeyC]

I have an older brother. We are not on talking terms. He has been very abusive in the past--both verbal and physical. My anxiety no doubt worsened because of it. Maybe one day we will be able to patch things up because something I really want is to have good relationships with my siblings as we really don't have much extended family. It is just so hard.

Just because he is family doesn't mean you have to patch anything up. The fact he did this is reason enough to never talk to him again.

I know what you mean. Many times I've wished I was more like my sister.

I think you're lovely the way you are. But why do you want to be like your sister?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Just because he is family doesn't mean you have to patch anything up. The fact he did this is reason enough to never talk to him again.

You are right, Mikey. It is very difficult. I know it is best for me not to have him in my life, but part of me still feels bad about it.

I think you're lovely the way you are. But why do you want to be like your sister?

You are too kind. My sister, although she has problems, is just so friendly and easygoing. She has had normal life experiences too. Some which I will never have.

 

[Graeme1988]

Yeah, I have 2 older sisters who would say things which really messed me up. It didn't help when my mother would join in, either. They'd constantly say stuff like "All men are useless, aren't they?".

I believe it was just to provoke an angry reaction outta me. Because they always found it's f*%#in' hysterical whenever I'd get really mad about something and start ranting, but I never did. No point trying to come up with a counterargument to debunk an obviously bull$**t statement when you're outnumbered 3 to 1. You can't win. Just agree, walk away, go to your bedroom and breakdown in tears. They'd always justify it, too, said they were only "joking". Sadly, I didn't see the funny side about undermining my confidence, being the male sibling in the family. ::

Sorry for the rant, that memory is still quite vivid, even after 8 years.

 

[Aletheia]

I have a younger sibling who disapproves of me, does that count?