Do you have a low self-esteem?

Do you have a low self-esteem?

  • Yes

    Votes: 209 84.3%
  • No

    Votes: 16 6.5%
  • Not sure

    Votes: 23 9.3%

  • Total voters
    248

Kiwong

Well-known member
My self-esteem is higher than it has been for some time, but it balances on a knife edge from day-to-day
 

Aletheia

Well-known member
"Sometimes low self-esteem can be a problem in and of itself because it puts the person at risk for experiencing other problems such as depression, having persistent suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, and social phobia."

Makes sense.

I can't actually get my head around how someone could have healthy self-esteem and yet still have social anxiety. Where would the anxiety come from?

*ponders*
 
Makes sense.

I can't actually get my head around how someone could have healthy self-esteem and yet still have social anxiety. Where would the anxiety come from?

*ponders*

I can (try to) answer that. I consider myself to have a "normal" self-esteem, and I like to think I have a fairly reasonable perspective, but I still have crippling anxiety in some social situations. It's just like being randomly depressed for no discernible reason. It just hits you.

In my specific case, I may have developed the anxiety back when I did have lower self-esteem, and now it's more of a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, I know if I walk through a crowded place, I'll walk very nervously because of anxiety, and the anxiety itself would come because I'm walking nervously. Despite knowing full well that it doesn't make any sense, it still happens every time.
 

O'Killian

Well-known member
Makes sense.

I can't actually get my head around how someone could have healthy self-esteem and yet still have social anxiety. Where would the anxiety come from?

*ponders*

This same train of thought is what made me (sometimes still makes me) reluctant to think I had(have?) social anxiety despite the fact I've been a recluse for years and find it difficult to go out in public.

This may be peculiar to Americans from my age group, but school literally bombarded us with a constant message of LOW SELF ESTEEM IS BAD. FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! PLEASE ALLOW US TO GIVE YOU ALL GOLD STARS EVEN IF YOU ARE A MISERABLE AND INCOMPETENT FAILURE. Don't use red ink on tests! Grades make people feel bad, so let's get rid of Fs! There's a whole movement that would rather give low self-esteem a shower of rainbows and gumdrops and then give a big thumbs up while riding their unicorn into the sunset, out to "help" the next kid. Needless to say this is like putting a tiny little band-aid on someone who's bleeding internally.

My worst fear is that this brainwashing worked, and that while I feel good about myself, it's just some weird Stockholm syndrome-like thing and I'm really just a depressed optimist deluding himself that he's a realist.

The less depressing version is that I don't have a screwed up vision of myself - I have a screwed up vision of others. I may be smart, funny, and generally a worthwhile human being, but other people may not see that and reject me (and this is a big part - fear of rejection. I feel like I have to make so much effort to do anything social, and rejection means so much effort expended with nothing to show for it - even if rationally I know it isn't that bad). This makes it easy to fall into misanthropy, I think, and then start assuming everybody else just isn't worth my time.

So I guess the gist of it is the whole 'you have to love yourself first' line may be true, but that doesn't just magically make it go away.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
I have low-ish self-esteem, but it is MUCH better than what it used to be. I'm not really sure what I did right, but I need to do more of it.
 

Dalton

New member
For a while I had a low self-esteem, but now I don't know. I know me, and I haven't why to feel lower anyone. The unique thing I might envy, is to be social as the majority of people. However it doesn't matters, I hope all will be better in a future xD.
 

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
i have a very low self esteem, but sometimes i get into moods where i feel really great about myself (usually followed by me telling myself im being stupid and delusional and getting depressed again)
 
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