Do you feel like you're not where you should be as an adult?

Zaki

Well-known member
Does anyone feel like this? It could be because of a lack of maturity, academic achievement, career advancement, independence, etc. Would you say that your SA is the primary factor behind your lack of progress?
 

Odo

Banned
I think I've made a lot of mistakes-- some of it has been the anxiety and some of it has been other things. I don't want to say it's all because of the anxiety because I think that would prevent me from addressing other shortcomings that aren't related to it.

I've never been very ambitious, so no to career and academia. Fast-paced productivity or 'leaving my mark'/playing the status game has never been as important as doing what I believe in... plus, you can feel good about pretty much anything as long as it has a clear purpose, aligns with your convictions and you're doing your best.

But I do think that anxiety has made it harder to put myself out there, and I'm probably more likely to tell myself 'no' than 'yes' to things I might have wanted because I just don't want to put my nerves through the wringer all the time.

Ultimately, I think that my biggest stumbling block has been with relationships. I know for sure that anxiety makes me less attractive to the opposite sex. I've always longed to be that confident carefree person everyone likes, or at least to feel comfortable speaking up in a group of people who are supposed to be my friends. I guess I would just like to meet someone who understands/isn't turned off by it.
 
Does anyone feel like this? It could be because of a lack of maturity, academic achievement, career advancement, independence, etc. Would you say that your SA is the primary factor behind your lack of progress?

.......yes
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
The media has made it seem like that unless you have a six-figure job, a hot wife/husband, three kids, big house, have ten extracurricular activities, and know four languages by the time you're 30, you're a big loser.

However, those of us that live in the real world know that's not the case.

We're all just doing the best we can with the resources we have. There's no "threshold" that you need to be at when you're at a certain age - we all progress and go through life at different speeds from different angles with different backgrounds and knowledge.

I know it's hard to think that when you're depressed and you feel that anxiety has stripped away what you think you could have, but that is the reality for people around the world.
 

WaningMoon

Well-known member
The media has made it seem like that unless you have a six-figure job, a hot wife/husband, three kids, big house, have ten extracurricular activities, and know four languages by the time you're 30, you're a big loser.

However, those of us that live in the real world know that's not the case.

We're all just doing the best we can with the resources we have. There's no "threshold" that you need to be at when you're at a certain age - we all progress and go through life at different speeds from different angles with different backgrounds and knowledge.

I know it's hard to think that when you're depressed and you feel that anxiety has stripped away what you think you could have, but that is the reality for people around the world.


This answer is so very true, Mikey C. Now, besides cute I think you are smart <3
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
This answer is so very true, Mikey C. Now, besides cute I think you are smart <3
tumblr_inline_mn1707LBcp1qz4rgp.png
 

strongman

Member
I think I dont act as a mature man as some thing in my age , some times especially when I am under emotional pressure I act like kid. socializing make people look more mature , and most people with SA act like kids or at best under their actual ages compared to their peers .
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Definitely.

I had hoped to be either in a career or finished with studies by now, renting a NICE place (not this dodgy hole I live in) and physically and emotionally healthy.

I am none of these things.
 

marylois

New member
I think I dont act as a mature man as some thing in my age , some times especially when I am under emotional pressure I act like kid. socializing make people look more mature , and most people with SA act like kids or at best under their actual ages compared to their peers .

I agree with that Strongman. I know I don't act my age either. I look younger than I am and definitely act like a kid sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) for laughs. Some of my family tell me that i act like a kid. Hey, its the only joy i get out of life.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, pretty much. But ah don't think ah fully live up or lived up to my family expectations. Failure sums it all up really. Also, am not particularly mature for ma age - despite being told this many times during high school. People tend tae assume that of introverted people.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I am an old lady if you're talking about my level of maturity-- but I'm like a small child when it comes to anything else.

I'm too scared to even make a phonecall or answer the phone- I can't make my own appointments; my mum has to do it for me or it just won't get done.
I can't drive, don't own a car, don't live on my own, don't go to college although I've *alot* of debt from attempting a first year and dropping out from absences... and I'm unemployed.
Not even a minimum wage job.
No boyfriend, no children... certainly never been married

I can't help but compare myself to people I had gone to highschool with.
I'm 26 now - we're 26... and I might be the last one living with my mum/jobless/loveless/no future prospects

I had always hoped that even if I had a crappy job as an adult, I'd at least have a family of my own.
Guess life just doesn't go as you hope it does.


ahaa-- and yes; agoraphobia is definitely the prime factor in this. XD
 

upndwn

Well-known member
I think I've made a lot of mistakes-- some of it has been the anxiety and some of it has been other things. I don't want to say it's all because of the anxiety because I think that would prevent me from addressing other shortcomings that aren't related to it.

I've never been very ambitious, so no to career and academia. Fast-paced productivity or 'leaving my mark'/playing the status game has never been as important as doing what I believe in... plus, you can feel good about pretty much anything as long as it has a clear purpose, aligns with your convictions and you're doing your best.

But I do think that anxiety has made it harder to put myself out there, and I'm probably more likely to tell myself 'no' than 'yes' to things I might have wanted because I just don't want to put my nerves through the wringer all the time.

Ultimately, I think that my biggest stumbling block has been with relationships. I know for sure that anxiety makes me less attractive to the opposite sex. I've always longed to be that confident carefree person everyone likes, or at least to feel comfortable speaking up in a group of people who are supposed to be my friends. I guess I would just like to meet someone who understands/isn't turned off by it.

This pretty much sums up my answer.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I still don't feel like I am an adult but this old man in the mirror keeps reminding me that I am.
 

BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
I'm 31 years old and I still feel like I'm in my young 20's, I don't feel like I'm in my 30's at all. Still having a hard time trying to figure out what type of person I am. Still suffering from PTSD and I feel very lost in the world. Not even at college yet and if I did go I don't think I'd be able to handle it due to panic attacks and my depression is killing me. And sadly I'm on medicare and disabled; I have no clue what to do with myself. So no, I don't feel like I know where I'm at as an adult. My mind set is still in my 20's which I think is bad.... :sad:
 

dottie

Well-known member
Yes. I'm in my 30s but when I am around people I feel like an exposed 7 year old who wants to hide behind my parent's pantleg. I am ashamed to even post on FB or interact because I feel like people are judging me for where I am at in life. This probably wouldn't be so if I didn't judge people by the same standards. :/ So, it is kind of hypocrisy, right?
 

drganon

Well-known member
I'm going on 26 but still feel at times like I'm still a teenager. I'm still living at home, don't know how to drive, haven't graduated from college yet, work a job that pays slightly over the minimum wage, and have never been in any sort of relationship. That said, If you had told me this were I would end up when I was actually a teenager, I probably wouldn't have been that surprised.
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
I am ashamed to even post on FB or interact because I feel like people are judging me for where I am at in life.

This is one of the reasons I haven't joined facebook. I've avoided it because I like a lot of privacy and there's no way in hell I'm ever gonna post every detail of my life online the way a lot of people do. I've considered joining, just to keep in touch with people, but I'd keep my profile nearly blank and not share a lot of details about me. The main reason I've been putting that off is because I'm an unemployed loser that still lives with my parents. If I join now, I risk having people I haven't talked to in awhile contacting me and asking what I've been up to. I hate dealing with those sorts of conversations in person and I don't want to encourage more of them.
 
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