Do You Feel Guilty About Having An Online Social Life?

[Tomasso]

I don't expect anybody to read all this... but if you do thanks.

My social life is 99% entirely online. The only personal social interaction I get is when I see my roommates in the kitchen when I go to make food or am walking to/from class. The bulk of my online time is spent on Yahoo Answers, my forum of choice, which I spend way too much time on. It's become distracting to the point that I actually think I'm addicted to it. The more Adderall I'm on, the more obsessively I go between my favorite sections to see if I get thumbs up, thumbs down, answers to my questions, etc. I took a management test today and I think I did averagely, despite studying long hours for it. Knowing me, I probably spent twice as long studying for it as the next closest person. The reason I think I did averagely is because of Y!A. I get myself into e-arguments and then I can't stop checking for the other persons response. It breaks up my studying and makes it hard to retain anything I read. It's really annoying. Also another weird thing is that I'm starting to actually get emotionally attached to other regular users on Y!A, it's really weird and disturbing. I feel like I am actually friends with some of these users, despite having no idea who they are. I have never spoken to these users about anything outside the context of Y!A, yet I feel so close to them because of our "alliances" against other users and common interests. It also concerns me. I feel kind of sad about it. Like I should be developing these friendships with real people, and not just in cyber-space. I've started to go on Y!A on my cellphone during class now. I find myself thinking about Y!A users at random points during the day when I'm separated from my computer. When I wake up in the morning I go on Y!A, before I go to class I do one last Y!A check, the second I get back to my apartment from class I get on Y!A, you get the picture. Why did this happen? My theory is that all the emotional stimulation I get comes from Y!A. From the joys of getting thumbs up on an answer to the perils of being insulted and seeing that user get thumbs up. In my friendless life that is absent of any relationships in my local area, Y!A makes me emotionally stimulated. I feel appreciated there and popular. It's my escapism from my dark reality that nobody even knows that I exist.

Does anybody else feel guilty about having an online social life?::

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Nope. I don't feel guilty about it at all.
Most people have some sort of online presence whether they choose to go on facebook 24/7 or troll Youtube video comments.
Just as many people, I think-- have friends online; maybe even most of their non-work/school social interactions online rather than in real life.

People meet online, date online, decide to get married online-- why should it be a big deal if we have a social life online?

 

[MikeyC]

More wise words from Weirdy. I don't feel guilty at all.

 

[Feeling_Nothing]

Guilty? Not at all, for some reason I feel like I can tell everything to everyone online (most of the time) However I do realize that it might suck me down and isolate me even more. But right now, the people I talk to online are so much nicer then the ones I "know".

So no, I don't feel guilty, regret maybe because I wish I could meet equally awesome people near me.

 

[kilojoule]

I think there is a problem with the online social life if it prevents you from having a real social life and interfers with your goals. It depends what camp you're in. A lot of people here are not trying to pursue a social life so they will defend it. A lot of people are so they wont defend it. You have to decide for yourself what camp youre in and whats important to you. Is it important to be a strong influence on YA or is it important to study properly and be incentivised to try build relationships?

 

[kilojoule]

....If youre feeling guilty then maybe thats a sign that it doesnt sit well with you

 

[montejocarlo]

not guilty. but i feel i would be more happy if i can be as friendly in person as i am online. the cyber world isn't illusory. you interact with real people. there's nothing wrong with it, unless you make it a hiding place from a world that frightens you. online experiences can never be substitute for the experiences you get from the real world.

 

[twiggle]

I think there is a problem with the online social life if it prevents you from having a real social life and interfers with your goals.

Yes, I think this is a good point, because even though you could make some great friends online, would you really want to back over life and think about how most of your social life happened behind a computer screen? Memories not of bikerides and meals out, but of VDUs and anti-virus software.

Having said that, it's not always easy to have a social life in real life - particularly with anxiety, and so I think it's good that there are such things as online communities, like this one, in which people can form friendships of sorts - it's better than nothing at all and is certainly nothing to feel ashamed of. There are real people behind these avatars, meeting up with Voltron proved that to me, not that I didn't know already, but it just made it all more real.
It gives you a greater sense of freedom over what you feel you can say and is also really helpful to talk to people in the same boat. Online social life can also be risky sometimes, though. It can take a while before you really know who you're talking to.

Generally speaking I think we do too much stuff online, and I mean people in general, and the internet in general. Sometimes it makes me feel quite sad to think how much time we give to looking at screens and monitors, pressing a few buttons here and there in order to 'socialise'. But it's down to individual discretion. I'm a hypocrite because I hate how much time we spend on computers, but I'm so often on one myself ::

 

[Kinetik]

I don't have an online social life, I'm only really quasi-sociable on this website now, and even here I usually just say hi to people. I watch lots of youtube but never post comments. I don't have a blog, nor do I use a messenger service anymore. I used to, but I found it to be a waste of time.

 

[Kiwong]

I'm OK with it. It helps. My addiction might only be about 30-40%. I do other stuff besides being on line.

 

[Gaucho]

hi.

I feel guilty for wasting my hours in front of a computer, and could be doing 1 million other productive fun things.

I always have stuck in my head that I'm wasting my life wile my family even pays me so much money every month so I'm able to live properly. If i would ask for more, i even would get more. They love me wile I'm wasting my life doing norhin, and i only have to study and have some fun.

 

[Section_31]

not at all.

No regrets!

 

[MrJones]

I'd like to convert some online friends into real life ones.

 

[Feathers]

hm, I actually met some people from online & it was very cool!

I'd like to meet some more too!!

Sometimes I've been 'too much' on internet, I try to make breaks and live 'unplugged' too...
It's good to have friends both in RL and online!!

Some discussions are 'easier' online hehe... Or some people in RL might be busy or not interested in some topics etc. So a combination is best, I think...

 

[Phoenixx]

I don't feel guilty at all. I do, however, feel sad that I'm not able to express myself or talk to anyone as well in real life as I can on here. That is something I will always need to work on, I think.

I think there is a problem with the online social life if it prevents you from having a real social life and interfers with your goals.

^ This is a great point!

I'd like to convert some online friends into real life ones.

^ Same here!

 

[coyote]

I'd like to meet some more too!!

i don't know how many times i have to invite you over

 

[Nouveau]

No. Why should I, when even people who have a healthy offline social life still have a social life online? Being social online is just a normal thing, now. Nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about, I think.
It's a good and bad thing, though. Helps, yet hinders. If you get social interaction online (which is great for people who don't get it anywhere else), you probably don't seek it offline too much or at all, which is not good.

I would, however, like to have online friends be offline friends, but seeing how the only friends I have online live across the country, I don't think that will happen too soon. Plus, one is getting married, so we don't talk as much as we used to, anyway.

I think the topic got away from me a bit. Sorry.

 

[Gaucho]

No. Why should I, when even people who have a healthy offline social life still have a social life online? Being social online is just a normal thing, now. Nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about, I think.
It's a good and bad thing, though. Helps, yet hinders. If you get social interaction online (which is great for people who don't get it anywhere else), you probably don't seek it offline too much or at all, which is not good.

I would, however, like to have online friends be offline friends, but seeing how the only friends I have online live across the country, I don't think that will happen too soon. Plus, one is getting married, so we don't talk as much as we used to, anyway.

I think the topic got away from me a bit. Sorry.

hi, having a online life isn't a problem, and can be good for people with SA, as long as it doesn't turn into your life. In my example I don't do nearly anything except being in front of my computer, because its there always available. Without it id be forced to do other thing and have the OPORTUNITY to meet other new people, what now isn't the case.

but still i don't blame the internet but only myself for the one I am