Do you believe in True friendship/True love?

[Lccska]

As possibly the oldest person on this site, I feel compelled to answer. Yes and yes. A true friend loves you warts and all. When you see each other after several years of absence, you just pick up where you left off. I have several true friends, 3 of whom are my sisters.
True love, absolutely. But I don't think it's the passionate type love that you feel when you're with somebody new. That fades (a little) and true friendship takes over. That's not to say that passion leaves all together. It's a perk of true friendship! Sexual compatibility is huge. I consider my ex to be a true love in my life. We have 2 great Daughters and we are true friends. I will love him till the day I die, but I no longer feel the passionate type love for him.
So......why am I 51yo and currently not in a relationship? I can only say that I have had a great time getting to this period in my life! I can't wait to see what's next! Maybe I have issues. I'm working on that stuff (still and forever). But, it's been one heck of a ride and I wouldn't change a thing! None of my relationships have been "casual", and I never intentionally hurt anyone, nor do I believe they intentionally hurt me.

 

[CrzyDrmr]

Over the years I've met a lot of people and pretty much all of them are full of ****. I will say though, that in all of that I do have 1 or 2 true friends that aren't phony or fake. But I haven't seen them in a few years because I moved about 100 miles away from my old area, which sucks. Hope they still remember me by this time...

As for people who have more than 1 lifelong, true friend who they see regularly, I envy you ::

 

[Srijita52]

I think it will work out better. Normally if you like someone very early on in the friendship, your likely going to love them more..

I think people who normally crush without knowing someone, tend to be shy and from what i read from threads and see, they dont seem to last.

But i could be wrong, just what i noticed. Theres always an exception.

I came across this really good article that i agree.. you might be interested to read: Does Love make you sick?

I agree with you.It does work out better cos when you're friends with someone you already know each other's strength & weakness & can accept each other.There's nothing to pretend or hide,so you also feel at ease with them.But finding true friendship isn't easy either,ppl also keep changing all the time.Its just really hard...

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

If it's 'true' that means it lasts forever, right? So there's really no way of knowing if it's true unless you're near the end of your life. Or perhaps you could settle for 'probably true' after a few decades.

Any lasting relationship--romantic or otherwise--takes real work. It doesn't just magically happen.

 

[Beatrice]

Nah, don't believe in either.

I believe there are very very good friends, whether it's because said people are very loyal and good people, or because those two friends "click" just right, enough to stick together and be there for each other.

As for love, it's kind of similar. There is no such thing as "true" love.... what the hell does that even mean? There are only people who are very compatible on a behavioral level and find something in each other that keeps them together, but it's not some magical mystical pre-destined or heaven-blessed coupling, it's just the right mix of character traits. Like a relationship soup or salad.

 

[Beatrice]

Shush. True love doesn't mean anything magical or pre-destined, but it must exist. You see couples that have been married for 50 years, doing everything together, it must be more than just compatibility when you get 2 people that can't live without eachother. Love isn't logical so it is easy to dismiss it, but then we're not logical animals. Not everyone will experience it, but some lucky people will.

Nope. I still don't believe that's "true" love. There's no such thing. It's a made-up idea. Obviously "love" is all just chemicals and compatibility. Those couples just happened to stay together that long. It happens sometimes, so what?

People love to come up with dreamy and romantic ideas But that's the human mind for you. It's fun, so I don't care if people want to believe that nonsense, but that's just what it is.....

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Interesting thread.

Yes, I would have to say I believe in both true friendship and true love, but I don't think that either are magical, mystical things that just happen. Both require effort from the people involved or they will wither and die like a plant without water.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Yes, i believe in true love. But true love happens from being friends first. I dont believe in all the crush = relationship = true love.

it should be friends = crush = true love = success!

It make sense, feeling can start with Like, the more you like, you end up loving.

You have to love this person as a friend, if you cant even be friends with that person.. how can you love them? It would be infatuation which isnt love.

If you crush on someone before your friend, your going to be shy and all.. and how your going to get to know this person? .. most likely ignore their flaws.
This is why when your friends it make more sense, because your gotten to know this person, and you love them for who they are. They not hiding anything from you like a date would - because they trying to impress you! and if you developed feelings for this person... your likely be more comfortable.

I just dont think people should go through all the heart break, and if they dont enjoy the pain, then crush the real way. Why date someone for a few weeks ,and then later found out ... i dont like this person because of this and that... just waste of time! If you were friends, you would had known that about them! I dont understand people that "experiement"

I agree with this.

When you start a relationship based purely on how "hot" some girl or guy is, it's like purchasing a shiny new gadget or toy. It's wonderful and new and novel, and you think it's the best thing you ever had. You treat it really carefully, because you want it to stay all pristine, and if you do notice any flaws you tell yourself they don't really matter because it's so wonderful in every other way.

But think about all the things you've felt that way about. That feeling never lasts. Sooner or later you're throwing that lovely, expensive smartphone down on the table, or you're getting frustrated with that laptop because it's laggy when you try to watch HD videos, or it won't play the latest game you want to buy. That's when you notice a shiny new laptop, phone, or whatever on Amazon, and start convincing yourself that you really need that.

I'm not saying that looks don't matter, or that they're not a factor in relationships, but when people use them as the major or only reason for getting involved with another person, then they're basically treating that person like a shiny new "thing" and in the end, like all other things, it's never going to live up to its initial promise.

 

[Beatrice]

I agree with this.

When you start a relationship based purely on how "hot" some girl or guy is, it's like purchasing a shiny new gadget or toy. It's wonderful and new and novel, and you think it's the best thing you ever had. You treat it really carefully, because you want it to stay all pristine, and if you do notice any flaws you tell yourself they don't really matter because it's so wonderful in every other way.

But think about all the things you've felt that way about. That feeling never lasts. Sooner or later you're throwing that lovely, expensive smartphone down on the table, or you're getting frustrated with that laptop because it's laggy when you try to watch HD videos, or it won't play the latest game you want to buy. That's when you notice a shiny new laptop, phone, or whatever on Amazon, and start convincing yourself that you really need that.

I'm not saying that looks don't matter, or that they're not a factor in relationships, but when people use them as the major or only reason for getting involved with another person, then they're basically treating that person like a shiny new "thing" and in the end, like all other things, it's never going to live up to its initial promise.

Ooooooo, I love this metaphor.

Anyway, it's true, I speak from little experience and even naivete, and obviously everything I said is my own opinion. I'm sure it will change.

The truth is, no one knows I suppose. Like the question asks, it's a matter of what you believe. Do YOU believe it exists? My answer is no. Other people do. Okay, cool.

Interesting thoughts though, I like pondering these things when I'm bored

 

[panicsurvivor]

True friendship. Absolutely. The fact that you are even asking that makes me sad for you. I can tell you without doubt that true friendship is a fact. If some of you haven't found it yet, I am sorry.


True Love. I don't know. I have been in love once. The way they all say love is suppose to be. I don't really know if that means that true love exists. I mean Love exists, it is a feeling for others with varying degrees. But two people who are mutually infatuated, and physically attracted, however strongly won't necessarily stay together for long. I guess my answer to True Love is......I don't know.

 

[anxiety1408]

Yes, Yes I do.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Yes, I do and they do exist. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to find, or should I say achieve, such a bond.

To me, true friendship is when you have someone who you can talk/laugh about anything, listen to each others' problems and help each other, would never judge you unless they were trying to improve something about you, are always honest with you, would never backstab you, and always stick by your side no matter what. I had a true friend once, but I let her go because I let my SA take over my life.

Same thing with true love. If you truly love someone, you will be with them because you want to, you will love them for who they are regardless of their flaws, you would never leave them for anyone else, you would find each other attractive even when you're both old and well, less attractive ::
More importantly, you would tell them everything and not hide anything from them - if you truly love each other then you should be able to tell each other everything without fear.

It's not an easy thing to explain but you will definitely know and feel it in your heart when you find either of these things. I have yet to experience true love but I know it's out there. It takes time, but it's out there for everyone.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

I'm not sure one can know or really make a belief when they haven't experienced either way. Many ppl make assumptions and hopes on what others say or they've seen and what culture says, when they've never experienced. Doesn't mean you can't form your own perceptions and attitudes and beliefs on things but one cannot say for certain, "no" or even "yes" until they've actually gotten some personal data (experience) on it.

I've never experienced true love. Friendship, I think I came close. I can make a belief on observations and what other's have said - I think true love/friendship varies. In the end it's about ACTION NOT merely feeling (which is chemical and physical).

Someone "true" to you will make sacrifices and compromises because they care and WANT to and you BOTH maintain communication and honesty and will be there for eachother, good and bad. It's a TWO WAY STREET. Nothings perfect, either and so nobody is as well. I don't think it has to "last" at least love is harder because it involves sex and stuff - but friendships for sure, there's true solid friendships out there and brotherhoods (or sisterhoods =) that really go that far and in every way but blood are like brothers or sisters.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I thought I did but I guess I was wrong- or it was one-sided. Too bad for them, because when I say I'll love someone forever-- I mean it.

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Do you think there's actually something as True friendship/True love?If so,how would you define it?

True love...no

 

[Lea]

Of course it is possible, but only if both of the people are sane in their minds and mature/sensible enough - which is quite rare today, that's why this world is full of heartbreaks, cheatings, divorces.. but THIS is unnatural, not friendship or love, that is natural and was designed by the nature to work, only people made it so that it doesn't.

 

[Nitro]

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that love is a lie. Humans are (as much as we try to deny it) animals and we, like animals have our natural instinct to find a mate and reproduce. The thought of spending the rest of your life with one person is a very nice thought but realistically it just isn't meant to be that way. People are always getting divorced and the couples that do stay together end up almost hating each other.

I'm not against it in any way but I can't help but notice it doesn't work.

It seems to me like the idea of love only helps businesses make money off people's natural emotions.

 

[wayfarerfree]

In a word, yes, I do, without question.
But I doubt that I will find it.
True friends seem to come and go. Maybe thats because I seem to have been on a bit of a journey of change these lst few years.

 

[vexatiousmind]

I like that people have put that just because brain chemistry is involved in love, that true love does not exist.

If you have studied the brain chemistry involved in love, then you would know that there are different chemicals, and different areas of the brain involved in the different stages of love.

First is the stage of lust, you become obsessed with the person, ect.
Second is affection, which dies after some time unless the brain continues to release the chemistry, and brain activity continues.

If that happens then it is lasting love.

It is very hard to find someone that you can maintain that with. Just because our body responds to our feeling, doesn't mean it isn't true.

It seems more like proof to me, that you can find someone that you are able to stay in love with the rest of your life. AKA true love.


EDIT: I'd like to add that were else would love occur? I believe the soul is involved in love, but that while alive the soul and the body are connected. So yeah, the brain is involved in all feelings. Of course the brain will have something to do with love.

 

[nothingtofear]

Brain chemistry is the fabric of life as we experience it, just because we didn't always know that doesn't mean doesn't mean the fabric of life as we experience it isn't real... it just means we're developing a better understanding of it.

No one ever defined emotions as having nothing to do with our synapses and neurotransmitters before we even knew we had synapses and neurotransmitters and I fail to see how acknowledging a deeper technical understanding of things in any way suggests that those things do not exist