Do you believe in True friendship/True love?

[nothingtofear]

actually vex, bringing the soul into this discussion without adequately defining it will only bring more confusion... I don't believe in anything metaphysical but I think we've got something like a soul. I like to think of it as an abstract concept rather than something tangible, kind of like an emotional relationship or bond (and not a physical bond!) is a concept that makes sense, I think of a soul as not just being who we are deep down inside but our place in the world as we interact with other "souls" and the nature of our own consciousness and experience and how it interacts with other consciousnesses.

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."
- CS Lewis

That's the simplest most elegant description that I've heard that doesn't contradict popular usage. Most people are extremely vague when they say soul and I imagine a lot of people aren't even totally sure what they themselves mean by it (it's funny because that's not all that uncommon in language). The way CS Lewis puts it, "you" are not a body and a mind, "you" are a soul. If I point at you and say your name and go on to say something, I could be referring to you as an object, like a rock (but not an inanimate object) or I could be talking about the person and there's a difference even if one can't exist without the other much like the mind and the brain are two very different things but for there to be a mind there obviously must be a brain and for there to be the kind of brain we're talking about, there must be a mind. That's how I see the correlation between a soul/person and their physical form. Nothing mystical or impossible, it's merely an abstract but useful way of understanding and perceiving things, much like the extremely abstract nature of both math and language often relate to things that don't exist in any tangible form but they're very useful concepts despite this.

 

[vexatiousmind]

Despite my person believes on the soul, I still think the brain chemistry proves there is such thing as true love.

It is very hard to find someone that "the brain" remains in love with.
It doesn't continue to produce those chemicals and stimulate those specific regions for just anyone.

Also, I think it is possible to be able to achieve that with more than one person.
Maybe not at the same time. : P ( not sure on that one)
But still if you find someone that causes your brain to produce happy chemicals the rest of your life, how is that not true love? What is false about it? Nothing. Even if love is just chemicals in the brain, it is still wonderful, and it doesn't change the feeling.


And as far as the soul, I have no definitions for it. I believe in it because of my faith. and as far as CS Lewis's quote, I read it as correcting people. So many people( myself included) see the soul as something contained within the body, or that we see ourselves as our bodies instead of our souls. The body is just something you have on earth, while the soul is what you are, and will be for the rest of existence.

Anyway, getting way off track here. But those are my standpoints

 

[nothingtofear]

I have a knack for getting off and getting other people off track but I agree with everything you said about love regardless of definitions and beliefs

 

[vexatiousmind]

I have a knack for getting off and getting other people off track but I agree with everything you said about love regardless of definitions and beliefs

hehe (insert immature joke here)

sorry couldn't help myself.
I love talking about these things though, but didn't want to hog the thread.
IM me sometime if you want to discuss science, or philosophy, or w.e. : )

 

[nothingtofear]

LOL, I meant getting off TRACK! I don't know how that word didn't find it's way into my post

 

[drganon]

Nope......

 

[Kiwong]

I'm not sure there is much point of creating a label, and then despairing because you can't grasp a label.

 

[BlueDays]

True friendship, yes.
True love, no.

You can develop a stable friendship.
Love is too volatile imo.

 

[Kiwong]

True happiness- now there's a state of being I like, and I've been there lots lately. Doesn't involve friendship or love of another person.

 

[Minty]

i'd say it's something like highly compatible personalities and interests combined with very strong trust.

I agree with this.

And it's really hard to find. It's like winning the lottery, but it does exist for some people.

 

[Felgen]

I'm not sure there is much point of creating a label, and then despairing because you can't grasp a label.

Seeing how other people are having fun with friends and are in happy relationships, I have a reason to feel despair.

I can make friends easily and get a date easily, but keeping friends or getting a long-term relationship is extremely hard. Feeling like you almost made it and then f*** up is also a reason to feel bad.

 

[Beyond Timid]

Nope. We all have too many flaws to perfect anything.

 

[pennythemagnificent]

I didn't believe in true love until my grandma died and whenever i looked into my grandads eyes it was like something was missing, it was like he lost the sparkle in his eyes . he died shortly after, I think it was coz he had a broken heart. (you don't know what some things are untill you can notice they're missing)
I believe i have now found true love of my own, it's hard to explain but i know i'm going to be with her till the day i die (or the day she dies) i never want to spend a day away from her and it sort of feels like she's a big part of me, I don't feel like i'm "me" without her by my side.
our relationships has evolved to the point where sex is no longer an important thing, and i still feel this way about her, i'm also pretty sure it's impossible for us to breed, so it doesn't seem like a brain chemistry thing. she's also a sociophobe.
True friendship I've had and lost when that friendship turned into a relationship and quickly turned ugly

I'm new here btw

 

[Srijita52]

Hi,welcome to the site.I just want to ask,how can you tell that its true?I mean how can you distinct true love from false love?

 

[pennythemagnificent]

Hi,welcome to the site.I just want to ask,how can you tell that its true?I mean how can you distinct true love from false love?

false love usually has an ulterior motive, i guess. or a use by date.
soz im not sure if ur askin me or someone else..

 

[Kiwong]

Seeing how other people are having fun with friends and are in happy relationships, I have a reason to feel despair.

I can make friends easily and get a date easily, but keeping friends or getting a long-term relationship is extremely hard. Feeling like you almost made it and then f*** up is also a reason to feel bad.

Are they really that happy? Or is it your own thoughts imposing your assessment that everyone else is having more fun than you?

I think that despairing for these reasons is wasting a life that can be enjoed for multitude of other reasons.

 

[Beatrice]

I think that despairing for these reasons is wasting a life that can be enjoed for multitude of other reasons.

I disagree with this. Humans are social creatures obviously, so of course we long for that interaction and acceptance. And I think that's what makes life rich - more than anything else, even: human relationships.

It's perfectly natural for Felgen and the others here to feel like we're missing out, because we ARE. Most of life's best memories are made with others.

I wouldn't want to live anymore if I knew I would be alone my entire life.

 

[Kiwong]

I disagree with this. Humans are social creatures obviously, so of course we long for that interaction and acceptance. And I think that's what makes life rich - more than anything else, even: human relationships.

It's perfectly natural for Felgen and the others here to feel like we're missing out, because we ARE. Most of life's best memories are made with others.

I wouldn't want to live anymore if I knew I would be alone my entire life.

message to self- I will stay out of relationship threads.

 

[Beatrice]

I'd prefer to just agree to disagree with your view on this. It just seems our world views are so different. You are entitled to yours, as I am entitled to mine. Yours and Felgans are not mindsets I want to even contemplate for long.

You wouldn't want to live anymore because you are alone? That is just a waste of a life, in my opinion, an utterly bleak view of a future. I don't think a view of life like that is natural at all.

Of course we are social creatures, and I know I am not missing out on interaction and acceptance, I have plenty, but not based on any imagined cliched ideal of relationships that I chase and then despair because I can't grasp.

There is a multitude of human interactions and ways to enjoy life, other than desparing over some mythical ideal of relationships, or a delusion that people in relationships must be happier.

That is my opinion. Now I will get back to enjoying my life.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion. I may have imagined it, but you seemed to respond to this rather angrily, and I wasn't challenging you, I was simply stating my OWN opinion. It wasn't meant to be argumentative or hostile. The "Yours and Felgan's are not mindsets I want to even contemplate for long" came across rather rudely, but okay.....

Anyway, I still hold my same opinion in light of yours. Yes, I would feel depressed if I were alone because I enjoy interacting with humans on a deep level, i.e. having good friends to share time with. If I knew I had to go without that, I don't know how I'd manage.

Perhaps you don't need that. Some people don't. But some people, I'd say the majority, need that kind of interaction and get depressed when they don't get it. Nothing strange or terrible about it.

 

[drganon]

Love is a stupid myth perpetuated by idiotic movies and tv shows.