dear coyote

J

jc972

1
Dear Coyote,

I'm just wondering... I am a married, heterosexual American male, yet the only lasting friendships I am able to maintain are ones with females. I've yet to understand this. I have little to nothing in common with 99% of women but I can depend on them more than the male friends I've had. Every time I'm friends with another man I'm constantly getting asked to fix/weld/rebuild/machine his motorcycle,boat,car,firearms, st cetera and after a while of that being the only reason my phone rings I distance myself. I do not get the same things from female friends and they seem to genuinely act like a friend most of the time. Am I weird? Could there be something wrong with me? I'm generous to any friend but I expect to be treated like a friend instead of every conversation starting with "dude, can you fix my (insert vehicle/dirt bike/ACME rocket pack here)". Women just call or text me to talk which is much nicer but I think it's odd how I have a more loyal, caring friend in a woman, not that I mind but I'm getting self conscious about it at this point. I can have a cookout here at my place and let my guy friends know and none show up but several girl friends are here every single time, never fails. "Hey y'all, bonfire and beer tonight, I already have the beer, come on over", and the girl friends are here every time. Am I the boring but nonthreatening married guy some women are comfortable to be around but too boring for guy friends? Even the wife noticed, she said "you have a lot of girls as friends...and I'm glad, they are actual friends to you". I'm really confused at this point. What is your take on the above if you don't mind me asking?
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Dear Coyote,

How can we know if we are doing the right or wrong things in life? Is there a way to know, is there even a "right" and "wrong" way to life?
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
jc972 said:
Dear Coyote,

I'm just wondering... I am a married, heterosexual American male, yet the only lasting friendships I am able to maintain are ones with females. I've yet to understand this. I have little to nothing in common with 99% of women but I can depend on them more than the male friends I've had. Every time I'm friends with another man I'm constantly getting asked to fix/weld/rebuild/machine his motorcycle,boat,car,firearms, st cetera and after a while of that being the only reason my phone rings I distance myself. I do not get the same things from female friends and they seem to genuinely act like a friend most of the time. Am I weird? Could there be something wrong with me? I'm generous to any friend but I expect to be treated like a friend instead of every conversation starting with "dude, can you fix my (insert vehicle/dirt bike/ACME rocket pack here)". Women just call or text me to talk which is much nicer but I think it's odd how I have a more loyal, caring friend in a woman, not that I mind but I'm getting self conscious about it at this point. I can have a cookout here at my place and let my guy friends know and none show up but several girl friends are here every single time, never fails. "Hey y'all, bonfire and beer tonight, I already have the beer, come on over", and the girl friends are here every time. Am I the boring but nonthreatening married guy some women are comfortable to be around but too boring for guy friends? Even the wife noticed, she said "you have a lot of girls as friends...and I'm glad, they are actual friends to you". I'm really confused at this point. What is your take on the above if you don't mind me asking?
Click to expand...

dear jc972:

we seem to be quite similar in this regard. i have always had a difficult time relating to and making friends with most men, while feeling much more comfortable hanging out with women, and having mostly female friends and acquaintances

the men i do make lasting friendships with all seem to be the same way - mostly comfortable around women

i think maybe it has to do with having strong female role models when we were kids - mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, cousins,etc. i feel that was the way my childhood was, anyway. even though there were more males in the family, the women pretty much called all the shots

i think being raised in this type of an environment allows guys like you and me to learn to respect women as equals rather than only view them as some sort of servant or caregiver like many men seem to do, even in the 21st century

i say that's a good thing

another issue you may be experiencing is that because very often women are more attentive to social interactions than men, they are the ones who decide who gets to attend what function at whose house, etc. so the women are deciding for themselves to attend your BBQ, while the guys are being told by their wives or girlfriends NOT to attend, because they want the men to do something else (or they want the men to stay away from some place where there are the type of women in attendance who have the confidence to go by themselves)

for what it's worth, if i lived anywhere close to you, i'd love to hang out

:thumbup:
 
J

jc972

1
coyote said:
dear jc972:

we seem to be quite similar in this regard. i have always had a difficult time relating to and making friends with most men, while feeling much more comfortable hanging out with women, and having mostly female friends and acquaintances

the men i do make lasting friendships with all seem to be the same way - mostly comfortable around women

i think maybe it has to do with having strong female role models when we were kids - mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, cousins,etc. i feel that was the way my childhood was, anyway. even though there were more males in the family, the women pretty much called all the shots

i think being raised in this type of an environment allows guys like you and me to learn to respect women as equals rather than only view them as some sort of servant or caregiver like many men seem to do, even in the 21st century

i say that's a good thing

another issue you may be experiencing is that because very often women are more attentive to social interactions than men, they are the ones who decide who gets to attend what function at whose house, etc. so the women are deciding for themselves to attend your BBQ, while the guys are being told by their wives or girlfriends NOT to attend, because they want the men to do something else (or they want the men to stay away from some place where there are the type of women in attendance who have the confidence to go by themselves)

for what it's worth, if i lived anywhere close to you, i'd love to hang out

:thumbup:
Click to expand...


Your thoughts immediately made me feel better of the situation. I was brought up in a house with a strong maternal presence in the form of my grandmother, and my grandfather always treated her as an equal just as I do my wife. And yes, my female friends are all the independent, confident type just as you surmised. And if you were closer and could attend it would be awesome. :) I'm glad I'm not the only one who is blessed with female friendship. Thank you, Coyote.
 
nodejesque

nodejesque

Well-known member
Dear coyote,
Since god is all powerful... and creator of all, can he create the hottest (spicy) burrito of all time? So hot, that even he can't stand the heat?

But since he is god, would he be able to eat it all? But then it wouldn't be the hottest burrito ever made.

I need your enlightenment señor coyote...
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
nodejesque said:
Dear coyote,
Since god is all powerful... and creator of all, can he create the hottest (spicy) burrito of all time? So hot, that even he can't stand the heat?

But since he is god, would he be able to eat it all? But then it wouldn't be the hottest burrito ever made.

I need your enlightenment señor coyote...
Click to expand...

dear no dejes que:

in an attempt to shed some light on your question, i have tasked my assistant, Hubert (who is something of a biblical scholar) to provide some evidence as to God's ability to create the hottest burrito

here is what he came up with....

Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the burrito.

Jeremiah 32:27 - Behold, I [am] the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any burrito too hot for me?

Matthew 19:26 - But Jesus beheld [them], and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all burritos are possible.

Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing shall be impossible, even the hottest burrito ever made.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his hottest burrito, that whosoever believeth in it should not perish, but have everlasting life.

I don't know about you, but i think that pretty well sums it up.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Dear Coyote,

Why do many in the Human Race have the very common instinct of being so competitive with each other?:idontknow:


Yours Sincerely
Me.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Dear coyote,

If atoms and particles act in probabilistic ways governed by laws, and our minds are a product of our brains and bodies, and our brains and bodies are made of atoms and particles, how can free will exist?
 
hoddesdon

hoddesdon

Well-known member
^ dear coyote

Since free will clearly does exist, is it not the case that an atheist has just torpedoed his own viewpoint?
 
HHDisturbed

HHDisturbed

Well-known member
^ dear coyote

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge...would they call it "Fed UP"?

Has anyone ever calculated the speed of DARK?
 
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