Calling people by their names

[this_portrait]

Does anyone feel awkward doing this? I know it SHOULDN'T be, but for some reason I've always had a hard time addressing people by their names (or title, for that matter). I don't know if the people I'm trying to talk to notice that or what (considering some of them do address me by my name).

Maybe it's another thing I need to work on.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

I'm the same way. I don't know why, I'm just uncomfortable with it.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I know what you mean. The friends that I do have, I'm afraid, or maybe feel uncomfortable to is a better term, to call them by their name. I found a loophole in that I'm not afraid to call them by their last name. I don't think that there's anything wrong with it; they know we're talking to them, so there's nothing wrong. It's getting especially nerve-racking here at college where my teachers are asking me to call them by their first name! I don't know what to call my teachers, let alone my teaching assistants! But, I'll find some form of address that works for them.
You can work on it, if you choose to. I'm just saying that you shouldn't feel like you're forced to do so.

 

[-lonestar-]

I rarely do it, it's probably one of those things that you either like to do or don't, no big deal. Saying someones name can give you respect cuz well everyone likes to hear their name. Depends on what yer going for I suppose.

 

[MikeyC]

I've never heard this phenomenon before. I like to call people by their name and I like people to call me by my name, too.

I don't like calling people by their nicknames, though.

 

[Kat]

Yeah, it seems really formal. I tend to address people by their name if I don’t know them that well.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Does anyone feel awkward doing this? I know it SHOULDN'T be, but for some reason I've always had a hard time addressing people by their names (or title, for that matter). I don't know if the people I'm trying to talk to notice that or what (considering some of them do address me by my name).

Maybe it's another thing I need to work on.

They say it is good to mention the name of the person you are talking to when conversing with them. It creates a closer bond? Something like that. I read that a while back, so it is something I am conscious about and try to practice. I also have had a hard time addressing people by their names...like my boyfriend for example. I just rather call him "babe". At least I can get away with it with him!

 

[mikebird]

When I get into a new office
I know the person who interviewed me.
That's my contact.
When they 'introduce me' to another person, that's enough of a challenge by itself.
But in a room of 5 people, that's daunting.
I even go round asking everyone their name, that becomes panic attack stage. I generally fail to memorise anyone, when it's a basic John or Janet. I remember faces. That's it.

My boss sometimes shows me around - the toilets, and the kitchen, and then every person - 100s on each of the 40 floors of the building, and we shake hands, and they have a little giggle. I might remember a few faces, if they're ridiculously fat, or anorexic, or any interesting mixed-race, or any unknown nationality, or a sexy lady with a fascinating accent, and I can't discern if she's from: Sweden, Norway, German, etc, Latvia, Austrian, Croatian, Czech, Bulgarian (took me a year to get to know my neighbours), Lithuania, Kurgistan... the rest is easy: Greek, Turkish, Thai, Japanese, Russian, etc, French, Spanish, Portugese, Italian, Phillipino, Malaysian, Egyptian...

After the introductions, I fail to remember my boss' name, or what he / she looks like.

Months later come the flurries of "Hi Mike! We met, didn't we?"

 

[megalon]

This is something I really struggle with. Sometimes at work if I need to ask a coworker a question, I end up just standing near them and looking like an idiot until they notice me, because I can't just say their name to get their attention. It's like I feel unworthy of addressing other people by name, because there is an implication of closeness if you're on a first name basis with someone.

 

[Tiercel]

Yup. This is difficult for me, too, for some reason. With immediate family it's not really a problem, and online it's easy too.

But in person I tend to find different ways to get someone's attention rather than just using his/her name. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I really need to work on my interpersonal communication skills. I kinda just throw things out there and hope for the best.

Maybe it's time to start getting a list together for Santa....

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I've never heard this phenomenon before. I like to call people by their name and I like people to call me by my name, too.

Same here. This is interesting.

I tend to feel bad when someone never says my name when they're addressing me. Like I'm not worthy of a name, or they can't be bothered to remember. Like I'm a moving object to them instead of a person.

 

[MrJones]

I try to do it so I can look "normal", but I feel weird doing it. It's like I'm not good enough for them, so for me most people are named "Excuse me".

Plus, I have no friends (which would be easier to do because you're supposed to spend more time with them), only acquaintances, and an awful memory, and my mind tends to go blank when I talk to people I don't know very well. Put it all together and add the fear of saying something wrong and you'll have an awkward guy who don't say names.

 

[BlackPuma]

Yes, I do this too. I guess when you call someone by their names, you unconsciously announce that what you're about to say is a message for them personally. But when you just go to them and say it, it's more or less like a general announcement, eliminating the personal factor.

 

[moon_x]

I used to have a habit of calling people 'Oi' ... I didnt realise I was being rude until someone told me. Sometimes I can be ignorant. I always like it when people remembers my name and call me by my name, especially if I only met them once and its been a long time since I last saw them, and they still remembered.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I have a problem with this too. As Megalon said, calling someone by the first name seems to imply a closeness which I feel uncomfortable with, although I have no problem with others calling me by name.

 

[*Amy*]

I know what you mean. It's hard for me too when I don't know the eprson very much, or I don't like him/her. It's like as if calling him/her by his/her name would approach me too much to this person, and I don't want it... as if I'd rather keep some distance between us.

 

[twiggle]

Personally speaking I have no trouble with calling people by their names. I have plenty of other things I do feel awkward saying though so I don't think your problem is a strange one. I like it when people abbreviate my real name, to me it shows familiarity and it seems friendly, so I always try and do the same for others.

 

[Phoenixx]

Yeah I also feel awkward calling people by name, especially if they're new to me. Same thing with telling people my name. I feel even more awkward when I have to address myself, and I don't think it helps having an uncommon name either.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

It's like I feel unworthy of addressing other people by name, because there is an implication of closeness if you're on a first name basis with someone.

I tend to feel bad when someone never says my name when they're addressing me. Like I'm not worthy of a name, or they can't be bothered to remember. Like I'm a moving object to them instead of a person.

^^^ And that is the reason why they say you should address people by their first names when talking to them. It helps create a closer bond...no wonder it freaks so many of us out. It is kinda intense. Something as simple as calling someone by their first name. I am really bad remembering people's names too. These are things I am working on.

 

[Joh]

I am the same way too.