Does anyone ever feel that people are better than you? I feel like everyone is better than me at times. It's so bad that I don't even want to be around or seen by other people. When I was in college last semester I felt that all the students there were better than me. At my last job everyone was better than me. It is such a strong feeling that makes me isolate myself and not want to be around people, not even in the virtual world. I don't go into chat rooms because everyone in there is better than me, I don't start threads because I am not good enough to write or share anything with anyone. Yes that's right, if I could be honest I feel like everyone on this forum is better than me. To the person reading this right now YOU'RE better than me. My self esteem is so low that i don't even feel like I deserve to live, i don't deserve to be spoken to or looked at. These feelings as well as my depression keep me from not being able to hold down a job, or even work at all for that matter, I am such a loser. Does anyone else relate to how I am feeling? Maybe not, as I never met anyone with as low self esteem as me. I hear people say sometimes that they hate themselves, but I never quite hear people say that everyone is better than them, I am all alone in this.
Better than you?
- Thread starter Jannah
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DeathMetal
Well-known member
Yep, I feel the same as you. Everyone is better than me. Why would a girl want me, there are so many better guys out there.
Luke1993
Well-known member
Yes, everyone else seems to be better than me at everything, intelligence, humour, physical ability and so on. That's why I hate competetive because I always lose. I think that's why school was such a pain, obviously people realise you're weak and so they bully you because there will be no consequences for them.
College (Not university) I don't get bullied, but I can see everyone is still better than me, only more mature I guess. So I get very depressed there, but I go less frequently than I did at school, it could be why I'm a bit happier now actually. I hope I won't feel the same way if I get a job.
College (Not university) I don't get bullied, but I can see everyone is still better than me, only more mature I guess. So I get very depressed there, but I go less frequently than I did at school, it could be why I'm a bit happier now actually. I hope I won't feel the same way if I get a job.
Dronee
1
It's ok man... I feel like everyone, including the people on this forum, is also better than me in sooo many ways. I guess for me it's the feeling that they have a better willpower as mine has pretty much run dry. I also feel that I'm slow to learn things like... I don't notice things very well. And many other things. So you're not alone in this at all. 
lunarla
Well-known member
I definitely feel the same way. When I went to my school, I'd automatically compare myself to every girl that would pass me and they'd always be better than me, without fail. And I feel like everyone else knows that they're better than me too. So I'd always end up feeling very insignificant.
Dronee
1
Hmmm... just out of curiousity... is your nick arabic in origin? If I recall correctly, Jannah means a lush garden in Arabic.
nopark
Well-known member
I think people are better than me in some ways. Everyone is always more attractive, they can talk to women easier, they are active, they are "going places" in life etc. These things are all very important to me. They are things I want the most so I assign them greater weight in the grand scheme of things.
But I also know I'm good at stuff, too. I prattle on and on about my job a lot because it's so significant to my life--but I'm good at it. So that's one thing I know I'm better at than everything else. I know I'm a nice guy. I know I'm dependable and responsible. I know I can bankrupt anyone playing Texas Hold'em... And all of these things are also important to me; I like being these things.
So--for me at least--it comes down to how I tend to downplay my positive traits or skills and focus on the negative ones. Even as I write this I can think about it logically: everyone has a balance, we've all got strengths and weaknesses. But the emotional mind doesn't give a rats about logic haha.
I've been trying to alter that habit lately and I think I'm doing fairly well. Instead of automatically assuming I'm bad at something, or going to be bad at something, I take a step back and try to look at it objectively. I've got nothing to lose. And so far I've noticed I'm not great at a lot of things, but damn, I'm not a complete failure after all!
Other people don't care if you're good or bad at something. No one notices, no one cares. I spend so much time worrying that someone else might see me stumble. But god that is such a narcissistic view of the world. Everyone f*cks up constantly, all day, every day, and the only one that notices is ourselves. We are all so hard on ourselves and it stresses us to hell.
But I also know I'm good at stuff, too. I prattle on and on about my job a lot because it's so significant to my life--but I'm good at it. So that's one thing I know I'm better at than everything else. I know I'm a nice guy. I know I'm dependable and responsible. I know I can bankrupt anyone playing Texas Hold'em... And all of these things are also important to me; I like being these things.
So--for me at least--it comes down to how I tend to downplay my positive traits or skills and focus on the negative ones. Even as I write this I can think about it logically: everyone has a balance, we've all got strengths and weaknesses. But the emotional mind doesn't give a rats about logic haha.
I've been trying to alter that habit lately and I think I'm doing fairly well. Instead of automatically assuming I'm bad at something, or going to be bad at something, I take a step back and try to look at it objectively. I've got nothing to lose. And so far I've noticed I'm not great at a lot of things, but damn, I'm not a complete failure after all!
Other people don't care if you're good or bad at something. No one notices, no one cares. I spend so much time worrying that someone else might see me stumble. But god that is such a narcissistic view of the world. Everyone f*cks up constantly, all day, every day, and the only one that notices is ourselves. We are all so hard on ourselves and it stresses us to hell.
Better than who?
Everyone is better than me. Even you, person who thinks I am better than them. Hmmm.
Everyone is better than me. Even you, person who thinks I am better than them. Hmmm.
Damaged
Well-known member
Hmm sometimes i do, in other ways no.
I feel like i am special and i do think positive about myself in many ways. The only time i feel people are better than me is when i have a break up, especially the one i've just gone through.
My bf made me feel like i was fat most of the time as he'd point it out every day (i put on a lot of weight cos of agoraphobia which ive lost now) and that i was a pathetic mess and a lame excuse of a gf. So when thinking about when hes going to get a new gf, i feel like there going to be 100 times better than me in every way.
But when i gain all my confidence back i will become better than them all mwahahahhaha lol always positive me
I feel like i am special and i do think positive about myself in many ways. The only time i feel people are better than me is when i have a break up, especially the one i've just gone through.
My bf made me feel like i was fat most of the time as he'd point it out every day (i put on a lot of weight cos of agoraphobia which ive lost now) and that i was a pathetic mess and a lame excuse of a gf. So when thinking about when hes going to get a new gf, i feel like there going to be 100 times better than me in every way.
But when i gain all my confidence back i will become better than them all mwahahahhaha lol
always positive me
DeathMetal
Well-known member
Hmm sometimes i do, in other ways no.
I feel like i am special and i do think positive about myself in many ways. The only time i feel people are better than me is when i have a break up, especially the one i've just gone through.
My bf made me feel like i was fat most of the time as he'd point it out every day (i put on a lot of weight cos of agoraphobia which ive lost now) and that i was a pathetic mess and a lame excuse of a gf. So when thinking about when hes going to get a new gf, i feel like there going to be 100 times better than me in every way.
But when i gain all my confidence back i will become better than them all mwahahahhaha lol
Sounds like a nice guy.
Yes!
First time anyone has noticed and called me on it. It means heaven or paradise in Arabic, though I am not Arab nor speak Arabic.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
people are so vastly different from each other its insane to compare yourself to other people. there is no comparison, its like comparing ET and your golden retriever. Is ET better than your golden retriever? it doesnt make sense. i slip up sometimes and see someone i really admire and think, well im crap, but really this is one problem no one should have to bother with. unless you find somebody walking around with an identical copy of your personality and soul, there should be no comparisons
blah, like saying oh person a is smarter than person b. what does that even mean? one knows more about dental floss than the other knows about chicken? "better" doesnt even mean anything
blah, like saying oh person a is smarter than person b. what does that even mean? one knows more about dental floss than the other knows about chicken? "better" doesnt even mean anything
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Does it suffice to say that I relate with both of these? I go through split second periods, back and forth between the two. For one MINUTE i'm better than everybody else, but as soon as I hear somebody speaking or speak to somebody, everything they do is GODLY. Idealization, it's a defense mechanism, but for me it's a disorder. I know I tell myself I'm better, wiser, more clever than everybody to protect myself from the reality that I hate myself. Then, I meet one person who, with one sentence, fits my really high standards for people, and man do I ever worship them! And yes, I degrade myself horribly when this happens. If I don't meet one person who suits these standards, then I begin to believe i'm so ****ed up to have such high standards that I must be the scum of the earth, and I begin to idealize everybody. It's an odd, odd cycle. I guess all I can say is you're not alone, even as you wrote that I envied you for your ability to admit to others those emotions. Jealousy is a huge factor in this for me