Daniel089
Well-known member
lol, thanks for sharing that, but I'm fine where I am now really
I'd rather overcome my fears & jealousy on social people
Being a virgin
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lol, thanks for sharing that, but I'm fine where I am now really
I'd rather overcome my fears & jealousy on social people
MikeyC
Well-known member
Or, in my case, my anxiety.... :/wanna trade places? I'd love to be a virgin still
Being a virgin says nothing but good things about your level of maturity.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Saying that people in Islamic countries don't have sex or intimacy before marriage is a bit like saying that no one in prohibition era America ever drank alcohol.
I'm 25 and I was a virgin until earlier this year. I'm glad I did it and got the experience over with.
I missed out on a lot of opportunities with women over the years due to my anxiety. Each missed opportunity was causing more and more anxiety and was absolutely tearing me up inside.
If you feel like it's something you need to get over with and don't care about waiting for someone you love that's perfectly fine. Don't let people on here make you feel bad about it, if that's your goal. Sex is part of human nature.
And no ladies, it's not "easy" for guys to lose their virginity. Especially guys with social anxiety. If it's hard for us to even talk to girls why on earth would it be "easy" for us to go out and have sex with one?
I missed out on a lot of opportunities with women over the years due to my anxiety. Each missed opportunity was causing more and more anxiety and was absolutely tearing me up inside.
If you feel like it's something you need to get over with and don't care about waiting for someone you love that's perfectly fine. Don't let people on here make you feel bad about it, if that's your goal. Sex is part of human nature.
And no ladies, it's not "easy" for guys to lose their virginity. Especially guys with social anxiety. If it's hard for us to even talk to girls why on earth would it be "easy" for us to go out and have sex with one?
I think it would be easier for you on a dating site as it seems an unlikely probability to find a shy person at a pub or somewhere equally socially demanding.
I'm still a virgin at 21, and although at times I do feel like there is something wrong with me because of it, I think it is a preferable position to be in than to drift from one meaningless sexual relationship to the next.
I'm still a virgin at 21, and although at times I do feel like there is something wrong with me because of it, I think it is a preferable position to be in than to drift from one meaningless sexual relationship to the next.
market.garden
Well-known member
I can never tell if you're joking or not :
:Maybe a person wouldn't feel left out if they moved to a strict religious country, but then they'd have a tonne of other things to worry about... like living in a strict religious country.
Daniel089
Well-known member
One thing bothers me, I even wanted to open a new topic about it but decided to ask it here:
So, when I'm going to date someone, I have a fear that the "I don't really have friends, neither I'm outgoing" topic would might come up. How can I bypass that?
(Of course, I'm trying to get to know people)
So, when I'm going to date someone, I have a fear that the "I don't really have friends, neither I'm outgoing" topic would might come up. How can I bypass that?
(Of course, I'm trying to get to know people)
MrSunday
Well-known member
I can never tell if you're joking or not :
Maybe a person wouldn't feel left out if they moved to a strict religious country, but then they'd have a tonne of other things to worry about... like living in a strict religious country.
Saudi Arabia can be a difficult country for some people to live in. There is a strict separation between men and women. There have been some unwanted consequences. Some Saudi men have sex with other Saudi men, to release their sexual urges. Probably the same for Saudi women.
It is hard for Saudi men to get married as well. They need a lot of money and some Saudi women can be very demanding. It can be hard for a Saudi women too.
However, it is not a bad country as a whole. It's very safe compared to most countries and can be quite pleasant.
Saudi Arabian Food (Camel) - YouTube
I suppose all countries have their own problems.
market.garden
Well-known member
I'm sure it can be, but for someone to move from a more socially liberal country to one such as Saudi Arabia just to feel less anxious about being a virgin strikes me as... a step too far?
It may be difficult to bypass that if you are asked directly unless you lie (but this is not a great way to start a relationship). However I don't think that will be something you are asked directly. If you are and you tell the truth some may find it an endearing quality. Just don't go thinking that you will be rejected because no one will understand or sympathise with you, if they don't then they won't be worth dating.
Daniel089
Well-known member
It may be difficult to bypass that if you are asked directly unless you lie (but this is not a great way to start a relationship). However I don't think that will be something you are asked directly. If you are and you tell the truth some may find it an endearing quality. Just don't go thinking that you will be rejected because no one will understand or sympathise with you, if they don't then they won't be worth dating.
Well If I talk about private stuff with someone, I always try to tell the truth.
In a possible date I'm afraid I have to mention my social fears (if needed), and that "I don't really have so much friends", but I'm down with that, I would face the girl's reaction to that.
Gaucho
Well-known member
thats also a thing I'm always scared/worried of. to tell her i have no friends, i don't do nothing... she already would be disinterested in a loser like that. I'm even scared that a person asks me for my Facebook. because i have no pictures and i never ever write on Facebook.
coyote
Well-known member
you don't have to tell her everything about yourself in the first five minutes
let her get to know you over time
as you spend more time together, she'll pick up on the fact that you don't have many friends if that's something that means alot to her
if she doesn't notice or make a big deal about it, it means she doesn't care
she may like the fact that she gets you all to herself and doesn't have to share you with some ne'er do well thugs
If you don't feel comfortable talking about your social fears then don't. Find a way to change the subject or turn the conversation back onto her. She shouldn't expect you to reveal your secrets to her when you've only just met, and as I said I don't think she would ask questions that would mean you would have to talk about your fears. Good luck, I'm sure you will be just fine. Also I think it's great you've decided to take this step which seems to be so hard for you.
shakethelight
Well-known member
Someone who is truly worthy of your time isn't going to base their opinion off of how many friends you have. That seems really shallow.
I dated guys who had lots of friends, but Ive dated people who didn't seem to have that many either. I much rather have a guy who really only wants to spend time with me. I guess I am a tad selfish in that respect. I dont think not having friends is a deal breaker, thats just my opinion though.
Aletheia
Well-known member
Saying that people in Islamic countries don't have sex or intimacy before marriage is a bit like saying that no one in prohibition era America ever drank alcohol.
Ashiene
Well-known member
Apart from my anxiety, this is my greatest fear. I think a potential girlfriend would run away in terror the moment they find out I have no friends and not outgoing. She will probably think I'm a psycho, potential serial killer thats why no one wants to befriend me.
Solitudes_Grace
Well-known member
I know it can be hard, but we all need to stop caring about this virginity thing. It's not healthy. The cultural stigma against virginity just reflects how shallow and superficial our culture really is. The more we care about whether or not we ourselves are virgins, the more we are doing our part in perpetuating this stupid and silly cultural stigma. I'm a virgin, and I don't care if I'm a virgin.
Daniel089
Well-known member
Well you know, I would become outgoing for a girl, and I think even you could do that, if you look on the "sunny side", there are many things for a couple to spend their freetime with, that I even heard of, but sounds as a great idea...