Being a virgin

[Daniel089]

Seems most of the people agree that one should wait for the right partner to do it.But what if you will never find that perfect partner?What if your virginity will prevent you from finding that perfect partner?Let's wake up to reality people there is no such think as perfect relationship,those things are only in movies and stories.
And about regretting for doing it to early in live I think it's a big pile of bs,everyone does mistakes early in live but at least those who lost their virginity early can look up for a brighter future,but what future do I have?Hmmm?A future spent alone waiting for that "perfect" partner?
So screw with all that I'm going to do it at the first opportunity even if that girl will become my arch-enemy,I don't care.I want to be able to stay around when people talk about sex instead of hiding,I want to be able to say an honest NO when somebody ask me if I'm a virgin instead of lying,I want my confidence back in other words.

I know it's unlikely to find a perfect partner, but I would rather prefer losing it with someone I really like. I just can't have 1st sex with someone I'm only physically attracted to. People tend to think it's shameful if someone never had sex. We just needn't have to give a damn about it.

 

[Boby]

I know it's unlikely to find a perfect partner, but I would rather prefer losing it with someone I really like. I just can't have 1st sex with someone I'm only physically attracted to. People tend to think it's shameful if someone never had sex. We just needn't have to give a damn about it.

For me that first time is just symbolic and I will not care with who I do it,in fact I will most likely prefer one night stands instead of investing energy and time in tryout relationships(which will almost certainly happen),that way I will hone my skills and have fun will waiting for that special somebody to come into my live and be slapped in the face by love.
I don't understand why people even care for that first time,very very few will actually have a very long relationship with the first partner they had sex with,so it's utterly irrelevant that first time and unimportant,just make as much sex as you want or as much as you can get and when you will find somebody special so be it,you haven't lost anything,on the contrary.

And yes I don't wish anything more but to don't give a damn about what people say but the problem is...actually the reason why most of us are here on this forum is because we need other people,we are social creatures,we need to interact with others in order to survive,in order to grow and prosper.

 

[MrSunday]

There is no such thing as virginity...am I right? :/

 

[OceanMist]

OceanMist: You are right that it's harder to get laid when you don't have friends, but it's definitely not impossible to get laid when friendless. I haven't had friends that I've hung out with on a regular basis for like 5 or so years, and I lost my virginity when I met a girl online and me and her met in person.

The first step you need to do is realize that you can get laid, because you really can. You just may have to adjust some things such as lowering your standards.

Daniel: I get weird thoughts like losing virginity is the key to maturity, even though its stereotype and complete nonsense.

OceanMist: There are many virgins that are mature. I lost my virginity in December and I can tell you that nothing has really changed much in my life. I don't feel more mature. Yeah, that's a stereotype, the maturity crap.

Daniel: I even almost registered at a <a class="inlineAdmedialink" href="#">dating</a> site, because I do want a relationship, not just have sex for the first time only. But I knew I'm not ready for this yet, since I would be a really dull person to chat with, to flirt with, to be with. So I would prefer someone who is rather a quiet, shy person, but fun to talk with, but I think I can't <a class="inlineAdmedialink" href="#">find someone</a> like that anymore...

OceanMist: A couple things a wanna say about what you wrote here.

First, saying you are a dull person is a bad idea if you are letting it effect you. It sounds like you think that you are so dull that no woman would be interested in you, and that's not a good thought to have, and it's also not a true thought.

The problem with the "I'm dull" thinking is that when a guy thinks that it becomes an excuse so he never has to try to get a woman, which in turn makes impossible to ever get a woman.

 

[Foxface]

I always thought 18year old and over virgins were about as real as unicorns.

Same here. At least around where I live.

 

[da_illest101]

I'm a 100% sure me saying this isn't gonna change the mind of anyone, since I had the same problem myself. I was a virgin till I was 24, now i'm 25. Since I was a kid ( yes a kid not even a teenager) I was always thinking about losing my virginity, I had many chances, but I always back down due to fear. I watched a lot of porn, no joke it's probably the thing I did the most in the past 11 years over things like sleeping, eating or going to school.

So when I was trying to quit porn and didn't watch it, I found a girl online to do it with. I was petrified, but was beyond sick and tired of being label as a virgin in my head. So I went for it and did it.

After getting the job done the only thing I could think of was this: That's it? All the years of wanting to do it, all the time waste thinking about it. I was a bit traumatised by it too, I have a thread somewhere on the site who talks about it.

Since then I haven't tried to hook up with any girls just for sex.

Is sex bad? no it's not. I won't lie, it's fun. The problem is how glorified it is or we think it is. If I knew before what I knew now, I would I have never got depressed or obsess over it. That might not be a popular saying to say, but i would take porn and masturbation over sex ... with a random girl.

So to all the virgins out there don't give up on finding that fun, but don't obsess about it, It's nothing to lose your mind or get depress over. Plus don't do like me and just take a random online girl, it was pretty stupid of me and things could have been bad.

 

[Foxface]

Pressures of losing it and getting the first time over with early are lame as eff. Makes for a terribly awkward first experience.

True. The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 10 characters.

 

[Daniel089]

For me that first time is just symbolic and I will not care with who I do it,in fact I will most likely prefer one night stands instead of investing energy and time in tryout relationships(which will almost certainly happen),that way I will hone my skills and have fun will waiting for that special somebody to come into my live and be slapped in the face by love.
I don't understand why people even care for that first time,very very few will actually have a very long relationship with the first partner they had sex with,so it's utterly irrelevant that first time and unimportant,just make as much sex as you want or as much as you can get and when you will find somebody special so be it,you haven't lost anything,on the contrary.

And yes I don't wish anything more but to don't give a damn about what people say but the problem is...actually the reason why most of us are here on this forum is because we need other people,we are social creatures,we need to interact with others in order to survive,in order to grow and prosper.

The problem with me is that I'm extremely confused about myself. If I had lotsa friends, and were a social guy, maybe I would prefer one night stands, If I had just a few I know I would prefer real relationships.
I'm very suggestible by others. I don't even have a clue how to lose it, I just know that I'm the type of guy who would rather prefer losing virginity with someone who actually likes me. I know it's much harder way than a one night stand.

 

[coyote]

Question: Have a ton of relationship(contacts/aquaintances) or one deep connection/soulmate?

i've had both

 

[Foxface]

hmmm. if you had to pick, which one would you keep?Deep connection

Deep connection/Soul mate.

 

[coyote]

hmmm. if you had to pick, which one would you keep?

would there be pudding?

 

[OceanMist]

I don't even have a clue how to lose it, I just know that I'm the type of guy who would rather prefer losing virginity with someone who actually likes me. I know it's much harder way than a one night stand.

Hmm, I wouldn't say that losing your virginity through a relationship is harder than a one-night stand. Most women out there don't want to be called sluts, and when you look around, most women are looking for relationships.

It's about a comfort level with most women. Most women don't want to jump in the sack with a guy they met on that night, they want to get to know him so they are more comfortable with him, just like you want to get to know the woman you will lose your virginity to.

As for losing your virginity, or getting a g/f nonetheless, as a male, you are going to have to make it happen. Don't buy into that universe will unfold itself crap, gender roles are usually too powerful for that in most cases, especially for a guy in your situation.

It's all about searching and putting yourself in a position to be in a relationship. You either have to go out a lot or do online dating. If you just wait for something to happen without the two things I just mentioned, trust me, nothing will happen.

The only way waiting for something to happen could work is if you have the right connections. The problem with that with guys on here are there are many guys on here like me who have no friends so connections are absent for guys like me. We kind of have to take things into our own hands.