Avoiding things that eventually leads to huge problems in your life.

[Josette]

Avoidance is the story of my life. Ignore it and it will go away. I even dropped out of college once to avoid something. (Went back years later).

I learn the lesson--avoiding and procrastinating only makes it worse--over and over again to no avail. The instinct to avoid is so strong. Sometimes I'll force myself to stop and think about a particular thing I'm avoiding, and I'll realize 'hey, that's not even something I'm scared of doing anymore. wtf? why are you avoiding this?'

 

[carr]

procrastination is a real problem for me
then the anxiety builds up and I can't concentrate

 

[Nyoron]

i have this problem too, it never turns out well. i put off applying for my student learners grant for an entire year.. i ended up telling so many lies to my parents as to why i haven't got any money (i went so far as to bring back leaflets from the application desk pretending that i'd sorted it out). i also recently avoided school for about 3 weeks because i had to do a presentation in front of the class, eventually i managed to tell someone and get help though. and right now, i'm avoiding doing my homework, i'm not sure if that's just laziness or a fear of moving on to uni. eek.

 

[Nanita]

I avoid many things/actions/situations.
At the moment I´m avoiding making a phone call to the person I rent my appartment from. I´m supposed to call him, to get his signature on an application to get financial support for the rent.
So even when there is a positive goal (getting money) I just can´t make the phone call and arrange to meet with him.
Somebody do it for me!!!!!!

 

[coyote]

Avoidance is the story of my life. Ignore it and it will go away. I even dropped out of college once to avoid something. (Went back years later).

I learn the lesson--avoiding and procrastinating only makes it worse--over and over again to no avail. The instinct to avoid is so strong. Sometimes I'll force myself to stop and think about a particular thing I'm avoiding, and I'll realize 'hey, that's not even something I'm scared of doing anymore. wtf? why are you avoiding this?'

procrastination is a real problem for me
then the anxiety builds up and I can't concentrate

I avoid many things/actions/situations.
At the moment I´m avoiding making a phone call to the person I rent my appartment from. I´m supposed to call him, to get his signature on an application to get financial support for the rent.
So even when there is a positive goal (getting money) I just can´t make the phone call and arrange to meet with him.
Somebody do it for me!!!!!!

yep, yep, and yep

i could've wrote all of these myself

 

[Mickery]

Has anybody had an proper diagnosis that procrastination as a recognized symptom of the condition?

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

This is the one thing that has really made my life hard.

This irrational fear of some mundane situations that causes me to pospone dealing with them until it's too goddamn late and I've hurt myself in some way.

Right now I have to go sign up for my fifth semester in college, the exact same process each time, yet on every ocassion for whatever moronic reason I get really anxious and I try to pospone it.

But I can't do this time, because lastime time I went over a deadline and had to pay extra. Can't let that happen again.

 

[coyote]

Has anybody had an proper diagnosis that procrastination as a recognized symptom of the condition?

was told by a psychologist that it's a symptom of AvPD

 

[lurknomore]

was told by a psychologist that it's a symptom of AvPD

I'm a master procrastinator- and like someone else mentioned, even for things that I'm not afraid of, or even in fact should be happy/excited to do. Another thing that tells me I'm definitely avoidant, even though I've been procrastinating getting the official diagnosis.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I'm a master procrastinator- and like someone else mentioned, even for things that I'm not afraid of, or even in fact should be happy/excited to do. Another thing that tells me I'm definitely avoidant, even though I've been procrastinating getting the official diagnosis.

Yeah, I have a problem putting off doing things that aren't particularly distressing too.::

 

[HH]

A few years ago I had a job interview which went well and was asked to come back for a second interview where I would of had to give a presentation regarding a project they gave me.....I basically chickened out and sent them a email saying I don't think the job was for me (even though it was).

This probably put my career back several years ::

 

[sucettes]

I do this all the time. Actually I just ignored a phone call from one of my very few 'friends'. I don't really know what to say when I answer the phone and I'm scared of what she wants. If she wants to meet up somewhere in public or wants to invite me to a party. Because I really can't do it and I don't feel like doing it at all. She also doesn't take 'no' for an answer so I have to sit there and explain/come up with excuses for ages. I don't think that I have talked to her for almost 2 months now and I'm not sure when was the last time I saw her. Ugh. I also avoid going to the store now because I'm afraid she'll be there or someone else I've ignored. They will probably ask all these questions and say that I'm unsocial and a bad friend. The worst thing is that it's true.

 

[mikebird]

My neverending story for the last 10+ years

Being rejected by key people in life:

1. Boss
2. Girlfriend
3. Friends
4. Family

.. and NOBODY will step up to the plate and declare the truth:

"I hate you because you are ugly, stupid & lazy"

I am none of these, so why would I get rejected by every sentient being on the planet, and how would I go about getting someone's attention to "talk" or to be employed?

IT'S NOT ME. IT'S NOT ANY OF US. All other people who are not socially anxious run away and don't take us seriously

 

[DrsJacksonn]

I sure have this. I couldn't come up with an example right now, but I can strongly relate to it.

I can however, tell you something similar. For art class or however you'd like to call it, I once had to go some other city to visit a number of museums and thingies with the entire group.

Now the problem shows up when these 'breaks' are implemented. The moments between museum visits in which we're allowed to freely slender through the city for like an hour, maybe half an hour. And obviously, we're supposed to 'make groups' and stick together. Now I didn't have a single 'real' friend in the regarded arts clas and even though there mighta been some people I was able to interact with, there wasn't a single group I belonged to. So what happened? I wandered throughout the city alone and didn't know where to meet up. All I could do was go home.

So that was a lot of confusion and humiliation, just because I'm not able to make a friend. Stupid me, stupid disorder.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

One of my biggest problems is that whenever I am faced with an anxiety-provoking situation, I avoid it like the plague even when it has to get done and not doing is going to create a huge snowball affect and get me into an even bigger problem.

For example: Last year I had student teaching for my university at an elementary school, and each student got a sort of mentor that they were supposed to keep in touch with throughout the semester. My mentor sent me an email early in the semester asking to call him. I hate hate hate making phone calls, so I somehow rationalised it in my head that it would be okay if I held off calling him, and just said if he asked that I never got the email. Two months went by and one of the girls in my class who had the same mentor eventually came up to me and said that our mentor was trying really hard to contact me and that he was really upset. I totally freaked out but still didn't call him, and eventually sent him an email two weeks before the semester ended. The whole situation caused him to yell at me and give me a low score, and it kept me up many many nights throughout the whole semester thinking "if I don't call this guy I'm going to be in huge trouble", but yet I still didn't call.

Anyone else have similar stories?

Yes! I always do this with everything! I am currently doing it now! Am I incapable of learning? I'll take a ripple and turn it into a freak'n tsunami. i.e paying bills..........you name it!
I think I'm controlled by fear???

 

[laure15]

In my first year of college, I was yelled at by an advisor for a different reason, but if I were you, I would've called him. Calling is not as bad as physically meeting the person, that's how I think of it. At least I don't have to worry about eye contact and body language.

 

[aNOTfox]

yes, I agree avoiding things does cause problems. I avoided going to university this year cause I was so scared. But now I don't know where my life is going. It was a stupid decision to chicken out, so from now on whenever I'm faced with a scary situation, I look at it in a positive way and see it as an oppotunity to banish the fear. I think to myself, it's no good simply hoping and waiting for your anxiety to go away, you need to take the oppotunities that life throws at you to conquer your fear.

 

[Nanita]

Oh yeah I´ve avoided many many many things.
I´m currently looking for an appartment, and it´s really frustrating. If I see an ad for an appartment I like, I can´t call the phone number to get more information.. great.. then how am I supposed to get an apaprtment.. how am I supposed to get anything done.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

This avoidance issue seems to be a major problem for people who suffer from SA.....Hmmmmm

 

[A Many Splendored Thing]

I used to avoid every phone call. Now I just avoid the personal ones. The moment somebody tries to get to know me, I freak out. I'm actually able to handle doctor appointments and whatnot just fine, but therapy still scares me.

I know what caused my anxiety, but now I don't know how to stop it. The avoidance and anxiety is a defense mechanism...

I still avoid a job because of the personal feelings that could appear over time, though laziness is also part of that...

New Year's plan is two things. One will come before the other then I'll be on my way to independence... Or die trying.:idontknow: