Arrogance

[JosephG]

Anyone else find they are often called arrogant or similar terms? I am often called either arrogant or pretentious and I really don't understand why! I don't see myself above any one else and I try and treat everyone equally. I always greet people with a smile when I see them etc.
What I think it is to do with is that I'm not always willing to talk to people. I am to afraid to make that small talk in the corridor in case it goes horribly wrong or the other person think "what a weirdo" or "he's socially inept". Sometimes I will walk past acquaintances as if I never noticed them in order that I don't have to talk to them. Perhaps this is why people think I am arrogant? I just wish they could see the world through my eyes.
Anyone else experience this?

 

[mozart87]

you shouldn't bother. shy people are often considered arrogant. although people who think that are wrong, that's just the way it goes

 

[Falkor]

I'm not arrogant at all. But I could use a little arrogance.

 

[Hamelech]

Arrogant and pedantic are insults on the mouth of mediocres and envious. Is better a bit of pride than an absolute lack of self-esteem, anyway.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Well I think you should bother at least a little.
I've been called arrogant too, and it is pretty obvious to me that it comes from the fact that we sort of "ignore" people. So people sometimes take it as we are doing "attitude". I don't know if that expression exist in english. Anyway I'm sure you know what I mean. What I do is try to at least make eyes contact with people when I see them in the hall way by example, and if their eyes cross mine, I smile. It really changes a lot in the way they will perceive you, I think. I know it sucks, but it is important, and it makes the atmosphere a lot lighter.

 

[DespairSoul]

Arrogance is in everyone by someone less by someone more. If u dont like someone u will ignoring him and this seems in people eyes anyway arrogant because they cant take it because of their pride how could that happend my goodness. Because they are alone pride and actually they dont understand why that hapend just to them.People like sort people he is like this,she is like this because of boredom only,or just because they alone have some issues in live.

 

[Anti Matter]

This my mate is what I experience everyday.

Sucks don't it?

Trouble is I walk past someone in work at least every minute or 2, so I can't smile or make eye contact all the time. For some reason they think I'm strange because I don't ALWAYS communicate, gets tiring in the end. Yeah it's almost like a full time job within a full time job.

 

[dead24]

I always get this. f*** all of them

 

[UnOccupied]

People often mistake me for an "a$$hole", i guess that kinda goes hand in hand with arrogant though. It's because in small conversations, i tend to rush through them, and leave as soon as possible.

 

[SonicMan]

Sometimes I wonder if I come accross as arrogant but no one has ever said anything so I hope it's not too bad.

 

[Snowdrop]

I haven't had anyone call me arrogant to my face before but I definitely always feel as if that's what people are thinking. I think maybe one person has told me "oh it's always about you". Maybe it's just me being self critical or the fact that I have low self esteem, that makes me feel as if I am so self involved, it feels as if everyone else must see this too. Especially because I kind of ignore people and they must think that I am better than them, I have no time for them. That I am always wrapped up in myself because truthfully? I am. Maybe this is the same for you? I've learnt however that having social anxiety, depression or whatever will do this to you. But feeling self conscious and as you say, too afraid to look people in the eye or talk to them doesn't mean you're arrogant and you probably already know that. Unfortunately it's a given that no one can guess rightly what you're thinking least of all that you have social issues

 

[Chriiss]

Yeee Ive been called Arrogant even by my own family.
And I'm exactly like Anti Matter everyone in work thinks I'm weird. I just don't like making eye contact when I walk past someone.
And my family just don't understand me.

 

[Kristina223]

I try to act like I don't care about other people. That's my defense mechanism - I "don't like them" before they get the chance to "not like me". So yes, I come across as arrogant. That's one of my problems. I act like I'm cold, like I don't care about anything or anyone. Of course I'm not like that, but I want to be like that ... because that's the only way I won't get hurt.

 

[Luke1993]

No I don't think anyone thinks I'm arrogant, I'm too passive/shy/weak.

 

[JosephG]

This my mate is what I experience everyday.

Sucks don't it?

Trouble is I walk past someone in work at least every minute or 2, so I can't smile or make eye contact all the time. For some reason they think I'm strange because I don't ALWAYS communicate, gets tiring in the end. Yeah it's almost like a full time job within a full time job.

Yeah it's like that with me in school.
One day I'll be talking to someone and maybe having a laugh with them when I'm in a good mood and then the next day I'll just completely blank them and walk past them in the corridor.

I think I've always had trouble "letting on" to people anyway. I never do it first in case I get rejected and if someone lets on to me with a smile I am kind of shocked by it and don't respond fast enough.

I think what also contributes to this arrogant image thing is that if I do make eye contact with someone I'm just walking past I'll immediately look away because I don't know what to do. Perhaps this looks like I'm looking down on them or something? I don't know... I think the people who do actually talk to me know I'm not really how a lot of people perceive me...

It's not good though when you're trying to break this social phobia and you've already given people a bad impression of yourself so they aren't too keen to be friendly to you when you are in a good mood and trying to talk!

sigh..

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

There are worse things a person could be, I think. I've been called arrogant for speaking my mind and for sticking up for myself. God forbid I defend myself! However, I've had moments where I can admit I've spoken or behaved arrogantly.

 

[Stepan]

Anyone else find they are often called arrogant or similar terms? I am often called either arrogant or pretentious and I really don't understand why! I don't see myself above any one else and I try and treat everyone equally. I always greet people with a smile when I see them etc.
What I think it is to do with is that I'm not always willing to talk to people. I am to afraid to make that small talk in the corridor in case it goes horribly wrong or the other person think "what a weirdo" or "he's socially inept". Sometimes I will walk past acquaintances as if I never noticed them in order that I don't have to talk to them. Perhaps this is why people think I am arrogant? I just wish they could see the world through my eyes.
Anyone else experience this?

Oh yes, im totally experiencing this, no one said to my face that im arogant, but i can just feel it. But i also noticed, when you start talking to someone who thinks youre arrogant and you act non-arrogant (smile and stuff, as you said, i do that too) they get it very quickly, and instead of thinking youre arrogant they notice that youre very shy and a little weird...
Or maybe thats just me...

 

[JamesSmith]

Yes I've been called arrogant, they didn't call me arrogant but said I thought I was better than everyone else. There are people that believe shy people think that other people aren't worth the shy person's time. These people think that because socially anxious don't talk to many people that means the socially anxious person thinks that they are above these people they don't talk to. There was one time when I was walking home in the freezing cold and a guy that I knew but never talked to pulled up beside me in his van and motioned to me to hop in and said do you need ride? I was relieved that he was willing to give me a ride and I walked up to the door and as I reached for the door handle to the van he proceeded to give me the finger with a really loud laugh and at the same time, peeled out and drove away. My friend talked to him the next day and he said that this guy did this because I never talked to him. As you can see, there are people who don't understand shyness, and in some cases, hate it and blame us for how they feel.

 

[StandingJelly]

Sigh*

Who would have thought we are even close to such a term? Unfortunately there are people who wouldn't consider your shyness/SA

Then again, do we have a sign to recognise each other?

 

[Minty]

That's because they're insecure. If you're not being friendly towards them (being sociable) then they're going to automatically assume it's because you don't like them. If you don't like them, you must be arrogant.

People tend to say I look upset and ask if something is wrong lol. I have a grumpy face when I'm thinking about something and I'm almost always thinking about something.

I don't get called arrogant a lot because I think arrogant people look like they're analyzing or judging their surroundings, including the people in it. I look like I'm up in the clouds, not at all paying attention to anything concrete.