Arohanui - Ake Ake KiaKaha's Journal

[KiaKaha]

I don't understand your perception of fair though. I don't see why private businesses aimed to make profit should be less picky? I don't think a criminal record equates to a bad worker but if they had to choose between someone with a record and someone without, its unreasonable to choose the one without? The same logic goes for hiring someone who is already employed over unemployed. Being unemployed doesn't necessarily mean anything but put up against someone who has already been hired for work does have some implication of competence.

I do have an affinity towards the underdog, and if i owned a company i would definitely give those who have a tough time finding employment a chance, even a preference. Though doing this is a personal choice and has nothing to do with fairness. Helping those in need isnt the definition of fair, thats kindness.

Yes you are quite right - I used the wrong term, fair isn't quite the right word - kindness is.
The point that I am driving at though is peoples attitudes toward the unemployed, the stigma attached to it. People very very rarely will see past that and wonder about the bigger picture behind someones situation.

No its not unreasonable to choose someone without a criminal record - but where is the line? How is this guy supposed to better himself if no one wants to give him a chance? Isnt that just going to make him become more and more dejected than he already feels? Its a catch 22 - I am not saying its an easy problem to solve, but one that needs leniency and some serious consideration. He who casts the first stone and all that.

The crux of the matter is a catch 22 - yes if someone is employed there may be an implication of competency but is that the only thing that really counts? What about the thousands of people out there who have the right attitude, who are honest, who have the moxie to work - and have a sense of dignity but wont be hired because of this perceived incompetency.

That to me - is discrimination - and counter productive to well functioning society.

 

[KiaKaha]

I'm speaking as someone who is currently unemployed, has worked, has been fired, has had horribly embarrassing interviews, has handed out 1000's of resumes with no call backs, has been been in trouble with the law, has been embarassed being unemployed, and has been made fun of for working for minimum wage. but if i worked straight out of college at some firm like some of my peers, i wouldnt be who i am today.

You sound pretty much like me - thats fairly accurate of where I am work wise (and life wise)

I dont encourage handouts, but I do not agree that betterment necessarily comes from adversity and hardship either - I think in some cases it has the opposite effect.

I have never have had belief in handouts, people often mistake my point of view as giving up, expecting things to be done for them, and that complaining is just for the sake of it.

I am not entirely sure you have completely heard what it is that I am trying to say from where my first post began regarding the unemployed.

 

[KiaKaha]

So I just read in the newspaper - that someone purchased a diamond for 1.5 billion dollars.

Not 1.5 million - but BILLION...for a diamond....of all things... big fricken deal.

Its that kind of unnecessary expenditure that just makes me feel ill.

Just think of all the good that that money could of done for people .... but no, instead he had to buy a diamond.... one that cost 1.5 billion dollars.

Why is that people who have the most power for progressive change refuse to utilize it and constantly live a life of selfishness and indulgence..?

 

[MikeyC]

I know there are much, much better things I could spend $1.5 billion on.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Why is that people who have the most power for progressive change refuse to utilize it and constantly live a life of selfishness and indulgence..?

I get frustrated with that as well. I watched something on TV once about millionaires/billionaires and there are some people who have huge mansions will buy the 4-6 houses near them simply so they don't have any neighbors. There are millions of people with no place to live and you are buying a house just so you don't have a neighbor? All these people are spending ridiculous amounts of money on stupid stuff and others are suffering with nothing. It is frustrating.

But I just had a thought, what if their need to buy bigger and better things is the same as someone with another kind of "mental illness" (can't think of a better word.) Like some people feel the need to seek validation and happiness from drugs, or food, or sex. Some people feel like the only way someone will like them is if they sleep with them or buy them things or whatever. Maybe these people feel like the point of life is to buy stupid expensive stuff, maybe it gives them happiness.

Not excusing them for it, not saying that it is okay or that they don't need to change. Just saying that maybe it is a mental thing rather than an out right just stupidly selfish thing.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Why is that people who have the most power for progressive change refuse to utilize it and constantly live a life of selfishness and indulgence..?

I've known some very wealthy people and I have a theory:
Once they reach the status of being wealthy- they stop caring about the struggle because things are so much easier for them. They think 'it's not so bad' for everyone else and do what's easiest for themselves just because they can.

haha
I had a friend in college who lived in a castle.
Well... it was a mansion with the facade of a castle- very fancy.
She invited me over one weekend and I was telling her about how I hadn't eaten in 3 days and was going to have to drop out of classes to get a full time job and she said: "Why don't you just ask your parents for money?"
I said, "My parents don't have any money."
But she couldn't seem to comprehend what I was saying.
It went in one ear and out the other.
Because in the same situation, she would have just asked her parents for more money- because that's what parents do; give you money.
(unless they have none and you worked 3 jobs your whole life to help pay for things...)

 

[Lea]

I've known some very wealthy people and I have a theory:
Once they reach the status of being wealthy- they stop caring about the struggle because things are so much easier for them. They think 'it's not so bad' for everyone else and do what's easiest for themselves just because they can.

haha
I had a friend in college who lived in a castle.
Well... it was a mansion with the facade of a castle- very fancy.
She invited me over one weekend and I was telling her about how I hadn't eaten in 3 days and was going to have to drop out of classes to get a full time job and she said: "Why don't you just ask your parents for money?"
I said, "My parents don't have any money."
But she couldn't seem to comprehend what I was saying.
It went in one ear and out the other.
Because in the same situation, she would have just asked her parents for more money- because that's what parents do; give you money.
(unless they have none and you worked 3 jobs your whole life to help pay for things...)

In my country we have a quote "The satt don´t believe the hungry". In my experience generally those who are well off don´t believe those who aren´t or bagatelize their situation, or think it´s because they´re not doing enough etc.

 

[KiaKaha]

I've known some very wealthy people and I have a theory:
Once they reach the status of being wealthy- they stop caring about the struggle because things are so much easier for them. They think 'it's not so bad' for everyone else and do what's easiest for themselves just because they can.

haha
I had a friend in college who lived in a castle.
Well... it was a mansion with the facade of a castle- very fancy.
She invited me over one weekend and I was telling her about how I hadn't eaten in 3 days and was going to have to drop out of classes to get a full time job and she said: "Why don't you just ask your parents for money?"
I said, "My parents don't have any money."
But she couldn't seem to comprehend what I was saying.
It went in one ear and out the other.
Because in the same situation, she would have just asked her parents for more money- because that's what parents do; give you money.
(unless they have none and you worked 3 jobs your whole life to help pay for things...)

Yeah and I think thats a pretty interesting point - I have always felt that people only care about things when its happening to them, otherwise they can ignore it because its not relevant.... I think empathy only stems from experience and personal suffering.

I have absoloutely zero empathy for people with huntingtons disease because I dont have it, I dont know anyone who does, and I have no real experience with it.... I can sympathize for sure, but I cant really feel it - I simply wont understand.

The rich have always got on my nerves a little with how they spend their money. I think lavish extravagance is completely unnecessary - being comfortable sure, thats cool - whatever - but buying a diamond for 1.5 billion dollars is just selfishly pathetic. The rich and the powerful should have an obligation to help their fellow man.

I used to know a girl who had such a deep sense of entitlement she had no idea what being poor meant. She considered not being able to buy a new pair of shoes every week as being hard done by, she thought she was poor. You could see behind her eyes the sheer incomprehension of how well off she really was.... she believed she was a victim because she couldnt get her own way - been taught to believe that she was entitled.... for everything.

Which is just further proof in my mind - that none of us can really understand what it truly feels like to be someone else, particularly in respect to our attitude toward life ... The rich included...I guess...they still bug me with extravagance, they should know better.

 

[MikeyC]

I used to know a girl who had such a deep sense of entitlement she had no idea what being poor meant. She considered not being able to buy a new pair of shoes every week as being hard done by, she thought she was poor. You could see behind her eyes the sheer incomprehension of how well off she really was.... she believed she was a victim because she couldnt get her own way - been taught to believe that she was entitled.... for everything.

This is a case of getting bought up in a very different environment and her version of "struggling" is not the same as what you or I would go through.

 

[Srijita52]

I've known some very wealthy people and I have a theory:
Once they reach the status of being wealthy- they stop caring about the struggle because things are so much easier for them. They think 'it's not so bad' for everyone else and do what's easiest for themselves just because they can.

haha
I had a friend in college who lived in a castle.
Well... it was a mansion with the facade of a castle- very fancy.
She invited me over one weekend and I was telling her about how I hadn't eaten in 3 days and was going to have to drop out of classes to get a full time job and she said: "Why don't you just ask your parents for money?"
I said, "My parents don't have any money."
But she couldn't seem to comprehend what I was saying.
It went in one ear and out the other.
Because in the same situation, she would have just asked her parents for more money- because that's what parents do; give you money.
(unless they have none and you worked 3 jobs your whole life to help pay for things...)

A friend of mine came up with the same theory and I totally agree with it Weirdy.

 

[KiaKaha]

Been seeing a lawyer all day today. I am seriously considering taking my tertiary education provider to court. I studied under the premise that I was entitled to study. After the fact, I apparently was not.... which means I have to pay back my allowance. Thousands of dollars worth - which by the way I dont have.

My lawyer said I have a strong case. Its all a bit grown up - but I dont see why I should be made accountable for someone elses mistakes.

I still need to some research though to back up my case.

I am feeling like a bit of a failure.

 

[Srijita52]

^I'm sorry Kia. Good luck with your case.

 

[KiaKaha]

Hey pig piggy pig pig pig.

Nothing can stop me now, because I dont care anymore.

2. Piggy - YouTube

 

[KiaKaha]

So -

Today I have been reading the new budget our governement has put in place. Yet again its the poor and the less well off that are being attacked. Over the last 20 years the income gap between the rich and the poor has grown exponentially - continually leaving behind those who constantly struggle to get ahead.

Now you can only get financial assistance for a maximum of four years - if you are poor and want to become a doctor or lawyer too bad for you - just another way to ensure the rich get better education.

Raising the price of cigarettes to nearly $20 a pack (thats $1 a cigarette) over the next four years. Yeah smoking - we all know its ick. But its the wrong approach. People will pay this price. I dont see why smokers are continually targeted as social pariahs. What about alcohol consumption? Thats just as much a social ill as anything else.

We are now taxing children with afterschool jobs. Got a paper round? You're getting taxed. Class.

Teachers are being attacked, community education is being attacked, charities and aid workers are being attacked and students in particular are getting a rough deal. Yet the rich - get a mild slap on the hand.

All just to make sure that all of us know our place in the grand scheme of things. There is a pecking order - and this governement will do anything to make sure that the poor stay where they belong and the rich live a life of extravagance and indulgence. Our politicians should take a page out of the new french presidents book and slash their income by 30% - that will fill the coffers I am sure.

It makes me feel so sad.

Everyone should be given a chance - particularly those who have constantly struggled in their lives. Every year their true colours begin to show - they wont tax people with massive assets - yet the ordinary joe bloggs pays through the teeth. Its long been my opinion that the strong should support the weak. It's the kind thing to do - they have a moral obligation to help their fellow man, but they wont do it. It just doesnt make any sense to me. Are we not all equal? Or have some intrinsic worth that deserves respect and dignity? Or is it if you get left behind ..... then tough... too bad for you.

 

[Lea]

It seems to be so in most countries and in most times in the history. So it is some kind of "natural" law, that people at power exploit the poor. It has always been so and it most likely always will be. I wonder if it has any sense at all to fight for justice

 

[KiaKaha]

It seems to be so in most countries and in most times in the history. So it is some kind of "natural" law, that people at power exploit the poor. It has always been so and it most likely always will be. I wonder if it has any sense at all to fight for justice

It must be fought. Otherwise things will never change. They say that life is intrinsically unfair - and it is, but the only reason it is because of the lack of will to make things fair - it cant be that hard - its just that people don't want to. It's too difficult. Things are getting better - but its taking a very long time - because there is just so many hurdles and its difficult to change attitudes.

The well off will never truly empathize with those who have nothing.

 

[Srijita52]

^I hope everything gets better oneday. I just wonder if that's possible.

 

[MikeyC]

I try to never read the financial breakdowns because it always makes me upset.

 

[KiaKaha]

I had a counseling session today. I talked about all the things that I have had on my mind lately... girls, stereotypes, status, gender roles, money, society, judgements, unemployment, rejection, conclusions based on evidence, distorted thinking, popularity, lack of acknowledgement, isolation, independence, physical appearance, confidence, shyness, anxiety, resilience...etc etc

It was good... it was so good to get it ALL out... we spent two hours talking together. I brought up some of the stuff that I have mentioned on the forum lately - I felt like I was being heard, and acknowledged while being sensitive to my feelings.

I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I am not sure... but I think there was a bit of flirtation there too. I know I know its probably all in my head... but she kept saying "I like you" like 5 times... and kept brushing her hair back and laughing at my jokes... "it was a pleasure meeting you - you are very intelligent and interesting to speak with" and she kept asking me if it was inappropriate being a counsellor to say that to me...

I dont know... I should probably not think about it - transference and all that. Good for the ego... why do I keep getting sexually attractive counselors eh? Its not fair. Making me like them - they are nice by nature but being good looking and doing what I perceive to be flirting is not good for me..

Damn this curse, damn this sexy sexy curse I have... damn it to hell.


Yeah I know - I am full of it.
but in conclusion... counseling = good.. I dont feel quite so alone and feel that my point of view has been acknowledged and listened too without making me feel embarrassed for bringing it up my thoughts. Sign of a good therapist I think.

 

[Srijita52]

I had a counseling session today. I talked about all the things that I have had on my mind lately... girls, stereotypes, status, gender roles, money, society, judgements, unemployment, rejection, conclusions based on evidence, distorted thinking, popularity, lack of acknowledgement, isolation, independence, physical appearance, confidence, shyness, anxiety, resilience...etc etc

It was good... it was so good to get it ALL out... we spent two hours talking together. I brought up some of the stuff that I have mentioned on the forum lately - I felt like I was being heard, and acknowledged while being sensitive to my feelings.

I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I am not sure... but I think there was a bit of flirtation there too. I know I know its probably all in my head... but she kept saying "I like you" like 5 times... and kept brushing her hair back and laughing at my jokes... "it was a pleasure meeting you - you are very intelligent and interesting to speak with" and she kept asking me if it was inappropriate being a counsellor to say that to me...

I dont know... I should probably not think about it - transference and all that. Good for the ego... why do I keep getting sexually attractive counselors eh? Its not fair. Making me like them - they are nice by nature but being good looking and doing what I perceive to be flirting is not good for me..

Damn this curse, damn this sexy sexy curse I have... damn it to hell.


Yeah I know - I am full of it.
but in conclusion... counseling = good.. I dont feel quite so alone and feel that my point of view has been acknowledged and listened too without making me feel embarrassed for bringing it up my thoughts. Sign of a good therapist I think.

I'm glad the counseling session went well Kia and you
were able to share everything. Its great that you feel listened to. And about the attraction, I guess it happens sometimes. I wouldn't worry too much about it.