Age differences in dating

IntheLabyrinth

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
I have always been terrified of dating and and of girls, even when I was in elementary school. I have only had a few dates in my life, and never any real relationships. The longest was about a month, but that was over a decade ago. So anyway I started recently talking to a classmate with no intentions of asking her out. However, we got along really well, and eventually I asked her to go on a date. I thought she was older than she is because she is rather mature, but it turns out that she is only 20 and I am 32. When I think about other people dating with that big of an age difference and the girl being that young, I think it's a bad idea (not really sure why though). The few friends I have talked to about it think I am crazy even though they know I have been single and longing for a relationship. I have nothing against dating women my own age but I just happened to feel comfortable enough around her to have been able to ask her on a date and I genuinely like her, which rarely ever happens no matter what age the women is and hasn't happened for a few years now. I was looking to hear some of your opinions in the hopes of reaffirming that it is okay, but dissenting opinions are just as welcome. I feel like most everyone on this site have integrity and are thoughtful so I figured this is the perfect place to seek advice.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
In general, there is no problem for a 32 year old to date a 20 year old one. She is no kid anymore and knows what she is doing.

I personally prefer to date people closer to my age, but that is just me.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
Do what makes you feel well,only you have to decide,I have been through this recently,I couldn't do it she was way too young and it didn't feel right.
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
if you click. and everyones legal. and it works, then do it!!

WHat business is it of anyone elses anyway?.

Do it!
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
When you are 52, she will be 40.

As long as both of you enjoy it, it is alright.
 
G

GhastlyCC

Well-known member
I think that after a certain point,age difference is no longer a problem.
If the younger person is of legal age,mature mentally, and no longer the rule of their parents...then why not?
I say go for it.:)
 
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nicole1

Well-known member
I don't think that's a bad diff and it's up to you two to iron out the differences that may come. I've always dated guys a bit older than I am. I rarely dated anyone the same age as I am and like with all relationships, they come with their problems. None are perfect.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
GhastlyCC said:
I think that after a certain point,age difference is no longer a problem.
If the younger person is of legal age,mature mentally, and no longer the rule of their parents...then why not?
I say go for it.:)
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^ I totally agree. Everyone who thinks you're crazy are really just crazy themselves for thinking so! ;)

If it makes you feel any better, both of my parents are 8 years apart. I also have a friend who's parents are about 10 years apart. While my parents have their stupid issues once in a while, they do have a pretty okay relationship. My friend's parents happen to have one of the best relationships I've ever seen.
 
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
IntheLabyrinth said:
I have always been terrified of dating and and of girls, even when I was in elementary school. I have only had a few dates in my life, and never any real relationships. The longest was about a month, but that was over a decade ago. So anyway I started recently talking to a classmate with no intentions of asking her out. However, we got along really well, and eventually I asked her to go on a date. I thought she was older than she is because she is rather mature, but it turns out that she is only 20 and I am 32. When I think about other people dating with that big of an age difference and the girl being that young, I think it's a bad idea (not really sure why though). The few friends I have talked to about it think I am crazy even though they know I have been single and longing for a relationship. I have nothing against dating women my own age but I just happened to feel comfortable enough around her to have been able to ask her on a date and I genuinely like her, which rarely ever happens no matter what age the women is and hasn't happened for a few years now. I was looking to hear some of your opinions in the hopes of reaffirming that it is okay, but dissenting opinions are just as welcome. I feel like most everyone on this site have integrity and are thoughtful so I figured this is the perfect place to seek advice.
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Hey , alot of guys go the young girl way cause well they probably have no kids and no divorces so its what I would do. She s does know what shes doing and not underage. She may make mistakes but dont over****ize her and just go with it. I would do the same thing. I ll look for someone in mid 20s or so as well

ps I wonder why socialphobia.com took the letters out that one word, theyre so ridiculous
 
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Raichel

Well-known member
Both of you are single, unmarried, and adults. You get along really well. You've been wanting to be in a relationship.

My answer is: What are you waiting for?! There is no harm in trying to get to know each other better! I think you're going to regret it later on if you don't give it a try.
 
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IntheLabyrinth

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
These were all very reassuring, helpful posts. Thank you all very much. I am definitely going to go on date number 2. Wish me luck!
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
if you are emotionally immature (no offense) and she is mature, then you meet somewhere in the middle. not a big deal.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
A long time ago I read that a woman should be 10 years younger than her husband, and they should ideally marry when he is 35 and she 25.

"Since men's emotional maturity is always younger than women they are then on the same emotional age.

The women is then on ideal child-bearing age .

The man has advanced enough in his career so that he can support a family.

And since women look older at a younger age they will look the same."

And it actually makes sense.

(and since men dies earlier it means she can get rid of him earlier.)
 
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