41 and still have not experienced a sexual relationship..

BlueRose

BlueRose

Active member
I'm 41yrs old and still have not experienced a sexual relationship. I don't feel normal. I dated someone a while ago but he turn out to be gay, he just wants to be friends with me. When I see other couples kissing I move away b/c I feel so left out. This is not normal a 41yr old lady who never experienced a sexual relationship makes me feel retarded. I feel sad when I'm alone.
 
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steve33

Active member
im 33 in the same boat its horrible i just want a wife family and kids but if i do meet someone how can you tell them you havent had a past/ Where are all the people on the internet in the same boat the chat rooms and dating sites are full of confident people with lots of experience theres no sites for people like us to meet others
 
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pandamonium77

pandamonium77

Well-known member
Look at Susan Boyle. She's a 47 year old lady that lives in a "collection of villages" with her cat and has never been kissed before. Right now, everyone is talking about her and she's on top of the world!
 
Noca

Noca

Banned
steve33 said:
im 33 in the same boat its horrible i just want a wife family and kids but if i do meet someone how can you tell them you havent had a past/ Where are all the people on the internet in the same boat the chat rooms and dating sites are full of confident people with lots of experience theres no sites for people like us to meet others
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not true. Every relationship and date I've ever had came from the internet, most of them all have SA.
 
Perfidion

Perfidion

Well-known member
This forum really needs to get over its obsession with sex. Sex is nice and all, but it's not the Holy Grail some people here seem to make out it is. In a very general sense, it's little more than a temporary increase in the dopamine levels in the brain. Smoking crystal meth has a similar effect, but makes you look hideous and causes all your teeth to fall out. (So don't do it.) There's also bad sex, which is just... bad. I've had some, so I know. Actually, I've also been responsible for some, thanks largely to my friend and yours, alcohol. There are more important things in the world than copulating with random strangers. Like eating your vegetables, getting regular exercise and saving the planet from rapacious corporate behemoths who WILL ENSLAVE US ALL!

This has been a public service announcement courtesy of Perfidion -- bringing gratuitously cruel helpings of reality to a public numbed by years of incessant consumerism.
 
meatcake

meatcake

1
Perfidion said:
Sex is nice and all, but it's not the Holy Grail some people here seem to make out it is.
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It is if you've never had it!

Especially when it's all mixed up with wanting to just get comfort and acceptance from another person.

I remember reading books when I was younger where there was some socially awkward girl character and some guy would come on to her and she'd have sex just in order to have some physical contact with someone. I totally wanted that, and it made me so envious of girls, who I thought could always get that whenever they wanted.

OP, I hope you are able to find someone :)
 
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steve33

Active member
Trouble is a lot of women in chat rooms dont want to be personal messaged as they assume you wanna talk dirty makes it even harder to start chatting.

SAS? SPW? I assume pof id plenty of fish?
 
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Riiya

Well-known member
Noca said:
SAS, SPW, and PoF are the only sites I used. Just randomly message someone in your area asking to be their friend, and it starts from there ;)
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And this is why I don't respond to obviously random PMs unless I feel like messing with someone's head. I like to think that everyone with SA has good intentions at the least, but I've been wrong before.

I still don't understand why everyone seems to be so ashamed of being sexually inexperienced. The average person with SA has a lot to be ashamed of. Gaining a sexual experience for the sake of gaining a sexual experience probably isn't going to make that much difference in your life. In the case of OP, sounds to me like you could use a few lessons in making friends and keeping them around. A sexual relationship can come later - don't run before you can walk.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
BlueRose said:
I'm 41yrs old and still have not experienced a sexual relationship. I don't feel normal. I dated someone a while ago but he turn out to be gay, he just wants to be friends with me. When I see other couples kissing I move away b/c I feel so left out. This is not normal a 41yr old lady who never experienced a sexual relationship makes me feel retarded. I feel sad when I'm alone.
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You are not alone, in July I will be 33 and I still haven't kissed a girl. There are many people like us, but they feel too ashamed to admit it.
 
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steve33

Active member
But what do we do about it Argamemnon as the previous post said lack of friends is also an issue but you cant force people to like you i try to like myself but its so difficult
 
kyle

kyle

Banned
That happened to Chris Chubbuck. In 1974 she worked as a newscaster for a local TV station in Sarasota Florida. She was so lonely and despondant that she was turning 30, and never had a sexual experience or lover, that she shot herself in the head on live TV.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
steve33 said:
But what do we do about it Argamemnon as the previous post said lack of friends is also an issue but you cant force people to like you i try to like myself but its so difficult
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I don't know about you Steve, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. My anxiety is permanent. I will never get rid of it to the point that I'll be comfortable with myself around others. I have given up, but I wish you well.
 
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Perfidion

Perfidion

Well-known member
kyle said:
That happened to Chris Chubbuck. In 1974 she worked as a newscaster for a local TV station in Sarasota Florida. She was so lonely and despondant that she was turning 30, and never had a sexual experience or lover, that she shot herself in the head on live TV.
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Poor Christine. She was beautiful and smart, and yet no one really knew her at all. She couldn't connect with people. One thing I appreciated, reading about her, was her twisted sense of humour. She had a morbid sense of the absurd, and that was very much reflected in the manner of her death. A tragedy, but at least she got her point across.
 
mndigi

mndigi

Well-known member
BlueRose said:
I'm 41yrs old and still have not experienced a sexual relationship. I don't feel normal. I dated someone a while ago but he turn out to be gay, he just wants to be friends with me. When I see other couples kissing I move away b/c I feel so left out. This is not normal a 41yr old lady who never experienced a sexual relationship makes me feel retarded. I feel sad when I'm alone.
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Look at it this way. I am sure there are a hundred other things which you haven't done. It's just that sex is too hyped. Sex isn't an entity in itself. Sex is one thing out of many things which most people do.
 
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