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Old 1 Week Ago
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Antonio Brown has been cleared to play...

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Old 1 Week Ago
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Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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'Hot threads this week - number 4; 'Anyone from New Zealand' with 0 views.

Thats pretty hot lol.
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Old 1 Week Ago
 

I took a position and I have no regrets. My only regret is the fear I have to over come while I am in this position and the lack of support from the people in my lives.

I wish it was like a Disney movie from the 1920's or 40's whatever but it is not. It is people full of fear from left to right and nobody willing to put down there money where there mouth is.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip shits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cause
I sure could use a vacation from this


Cause I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mum, please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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I didn't know there were sub-types of AvPD. These two stood out to me.

Quote:
The Self-Deserting Avoidant

A clear example of the influence of different personality domains is found in this last subtype of avoidant patterns. Self-deserting avoidants combine the social (interpersonal) retreating of the avoidant with the ruminative (cognitive) self-devaluation of the depressive personality. These individuals immerse themselves in a surrogate fantasy existence to avoid the discomfort of having to relate to others. They are not, however, unaware of their use of these tactics (unless, for example, they are concurrently experiencing a major depressive episode with psychosis), and this makes them painfully aware of their perceived inadequacies. Fantasy gradually becomes less effective, and their thoughts center more and more on the misery of their lives and the anguish of past experiences. Waking dreams are displaced by painful ruminations.

Thus totally interiorized, the feelings that motivated their initial withdrawal reverberate unremittingly. More and more, they cannot tolerate being themselves and seek to completely withdraw from their own conscious awareness, an existential abnegation of selfhood. Some become increasingly neglectful psychologically and physically, even to the point of neglecting basic hygiene. Some plunge into despair and are driven toward suicide, abandoning life as a means of ridding themselves of inner anguish and horror of their own identities. Others regress into a state of emotional numbness in which they are completely disconnected from themselves. In particularly severe cases, the structure of consciousness itself may split or fragment, leaving a regressive disorganization reminiscent of the schizotypal personality. As this process proceeds, self-deserting avoidants become outside spectators, observing from without the drama of their frightening transformation.

The Phobic Avoidant

Like the avoidant, dependent personalities desire close personal relationships; unlike the avoidant's basic sense of mistrust, however, dependents invest their trust (and much of their sense of self) in a significant other and relentlessly dread the potential loss of that relationship. Phobic avoidants combine features of these two personalities. Trapped between desire and the possibility of abandonment, phobic avoidants find a symbolic substitute onto which to project or displace their fear and anger. A free-floating and barely tolerable sense of anxiety or dread is thus concretized and shifted away from its true object: It's not the boyfriend or girlfriend, but the dog next door that is to be feared. By fleeing the phobic object or situation, such individuals seek to free themselves by symbolically leaving fear behind. Such phobias express the avoidant's fear of personal rejection, humiliation, and shame. For many phobic avoidants, the expression of fear in the presence of the phobic object also represents a cry for compassion, a desire to make instrumental use of fear as a means of disarming rejection and abandonment threats by eliciting support from otherwise unsupportive persons. Thus, phobic avoidants may successfully distance themselves from anxiety-producing situations, while also soliciting a degree of tolerance from others: You can't really hate her for not wanting to take the job at the dam; she has a fear of drowning. Unfortunately, such attempts often backfire, for the phobia itself may elicit mockery.

Note, too, that many personalities experience phobic syndromes. Some exhibit dramatic displays; others, being more constrained, show a motor restlessness and worry about being exposed as weak and inadequate. Irritable personalities seem always on edge, even when the phobic object is not present; avoidants hide their fears under a quiet public reserve.
https://www.alpfmedical.info/persona...rsonality.html
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Loss is painful, but maybe it's good for the "soul"?
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Loss is painful, but maybe it's good for the "soul"?
Yea I agree Life feels like the Dark Souls video game trilogy if you ask me. Lose a lot, learn, then do better. Pain hardens a person.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
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Old 5 Days Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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The older I get, the more my depression manifests itself physically. Especially when something really bugs me. I'll get these flu-like headaches with a lot of pressure in my frontal sinuses and all I want to do is go to bed to get away from it. Once I've slept a few hours it starts to subside, and I'm usually myself again after about a day.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
Yay for you! Was it as exciting as you expected it to be?
To see snow with my own eyes and actually feel snow, is at the top of my Bucket List to do before I end up six-feet-under. I will have to travel several hours South though.


Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
The older I get, the more my depression manifests itself physically. Especially when something really bugs me. I'll get these flu-like headaches with a lot of pressure in my frontal sinuses and all I want to do is go to bed to get away from it. Once I've slept a few hours it starts to subside, and I'm usually myself again after about a day.
Yeps, I have found that too.
I get really sore/red gums straight after I have gone through a really bad few days in a row. That is only time it happens, and it clears up by itself a day or so after the bad situation has ended.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
I've never seen snow, but i've seen it raining "sleet", which seemed like snow - which i've never seen. It fell very gently & melted as soon as it hit the ground, or my palm. Lovely.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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@BlueDays
@Slowesthand

Quite difficult to explain, really, so I won't spoil the whole thing for anyone. It brushed off and I thought it would turn into water because of my body heat when I touched it but nope, it stayed frozen. That crap is really painful too because I kept playing with it without gloves.

And yea, in the morning there was sleet too on a lot of roads

What else is on your bucket lists?
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Old 4 Days Ago
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I love this instrument. It was used on the Witcher 3 soundtrack . Just has such an amazing sound to it.

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Old 4 Days Ago
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So, there I was having a perfectly good 2017 when suddenly, BOOM, a sucker punch in the face courtesy of LIFE. Well, at least I almost made it until the end unscathed.
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Old 4 Days Ago
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Sometimes I go to write, and realize all I have in my head are song lyrics.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I still would really like to ride my bike on the streets or to the park for exercise but I'm still too afraid of what people outside think of me, especially if I'm wearing a helmet. It's been almost eight months since I bought it. I still don't know what to do.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
I still would really like to ride my bike on the streets or to the park for exercise but I'm still too afraid of what people outside think of me, especially if I'm wearing a helmet. It's been almost eight months since I bought it. I still don't know what to do.
Could you ride it along a street where you know that not many people walk? Is there any quiet streets around, where there will be not many people to see you?
And if you wear a backpack on your back, anyone who does see you will just think you are riding to work. Not many people would negatively judge a person while they are riding to work.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
I still would really like to ride my bike on the streets or to the park for exercise but I'm still too afraid of what people outside think of me, especially if I'm wearing a helmet. It's been almost eight months since I bought it. I still don't know what to do.
Just get one of these and let the haters hate.

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Old 3 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Could you ride it along a street where you know that not many people walk? Is there any quiet streets around, where there will be not many people to see you?
And if you wear a backpack on your back, anyone who does see you will just think you are riding to work. Not many people would negatively judge a person while they are riding to work.
I live near two schools and a busy street so there's always traffic but on the bright side there is a public park 5 minutes away and plenty of sidewalks. Your backpack idea is a very good one, so thank you.

@Fountain
. That is an epic helmet. I would wear one if it didn't cut down on my peripheral vision.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
@Fountain
. That is an epic helmet. I would wear one if it didn't cut down on my peripheral vision.
It's a mohawk that sticks to any helmet.

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