Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

I don't think I know how to be happy.

planemo said:

I don't think I know how to be happy.

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Me neither. :sad: But I also have to remember I live with a parent who constantly nags and complains about how miserable they are. :kickingmyself:

These kurdish women fighting ISIS are some serious hard a$ses. I'm glad we have them as our allies . I saw a documentary recently on female Kurdish soldiers.




Kurdish woman fighting Isis in Raqqa laughs after being narrowly missed by sniper | The Independent

AtTheGates said:

These kurdish women fighting ISIS are some serious hard a$ses

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...And probably rock-hard ab$ too!

theslowesthand said:

...And probably rock-hard ab$ too!

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haha most likely . they're probably ripped


lol. seriosuly though, they're really brave. id be honored to fight ISIS with the YPG, Armenian christians, and our other allies. ISIS was just recently defeated in Mosul and some of their leaders fled to Raqqa. that particular battle has been won but the war isn't over.


I definitely still want to start college in august so I can someday get a well-paying job, house, and "normal" life.....but as crazy as it might sound, I also REALLY want to help the allied forces defeat ISIS : / .


I know that sounds crazy to most people though... I feel like its a brave/honorable thing to do and all (especially as a christian)...but I guess its also PARTLY because I feel like such a loser. I always have. if I was a soldier fighting for a noble cause then maybe id be admired by people. thats something iv always wanted. I dont get any actual admiration as a corrections officer. when people say its a "thankless job" they REALLY mean it. I mean, its fulfilling on days where I feel like I REALLY helped an inmate(s) with something or inspired them to keep striving forward and not give up...and I KNOW I'm doing a good thing by doing this job but I still dont feel proud of myself. I still feel like a nobody. its a feeling that really drains me sometimes.



on top of that, its going to be really hard to pay attention to my college courses knowing that our allies/ other christians in that part of the world need help in defeating ISIS.

This guy can do this...


and I can't even walk to the mailbox without feeling like I'm going to die.

This is that documentary i mentioned
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrTJQwGwT-s

FountainandFairfax said:

This guy can do this...

and I can't even walk to the mailbox without feeling like I'm going to die.

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To be fair, he doesn't have prying neighbors peering all over the place. In some ways I'd be less afraid to do something like that, than attend a social thing. :X

planemo said:

I don't think I know how to be happy.

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If memory serves me right, I think it involves puppies and giant bowls of ice cream. Or perhaps kittens dressed in pirate attire?

Pizza. Pizza? Pizza!

Building sandcastles? No, no, snowmen. Birdhouses? Pots. Friendships with pirate cats! I feel like it involves building, and pirate cats.

Well, it possible be some of this stuff, maybe, I'm not really sure., you'll probably just have to try it all. If you do and any of it works, let me know so I can also do it! :thumbup:

I can't bring myself to reach out for help. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone, to tell them how I really feel, to try to explain my problems to them, to see if anyone will believe me...will help me. I've thought about hotlines but am too scared to do it. I keep thinking about therapy, but the belief and feeling that I deserve to be miserable, that I need punish myself prevents me. I just hold everything in these days and let it all slowly eat me up.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

theslowesthand said:

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

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You have got to love pink floyd. Those guys knew how to jam out and they knew how to write some meaningful songs.

Rawz said:

I can't bring myself to reach out for help. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone, to tell them how I really feel, to try to explain my problems to them, to see if anyone will believe me...will help me. I've thought about hotlines but am too scared to do it. I keep thinking about therapy, but the belief and feeling that I deserve to be miserable, that I need punish myself prevents me. I just hold everything in these days and let it all slowly eat me up.

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I used to be like that, a long, long time ago. Then my interest in self-improvement "overruled" my interest in punishing myself. I think you've got to reach the point where you're willing to help yourself, before anyone else can help you.

My oldest sister, who's talked me into teach her the bass guitar, keeps giving me song title suggestions for the instrumentals I've recently composed but not given titles. To make things worse...

1. 
   These song title suggestion are f**kin' improvised within seconds of me letting my sister hear these arrangemenr and... :kickingmyself:
   [*]With very exceptions, all her suggestions are utter shite. mg:
   

But that would just cause an argument between us, if I said that. :bigsmile:

Graeme1988 said:

My oldest sister, who's talked me into teach her the bass guitar, keeps giving me song title suggestions for the instrumentals I've recently composed but not given titles. To make things worse...

1. 
   These song title suggestion are f**kin' improvised within seconds of me letting my sister hear these arrangemenr and... :kickingmyself:
   [*]With very exceptions, all her suggestions are utter shite. mg:
   

But that would just cause an argument between us, if I said that. :bigsmile:

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For the love of Pete, POST THOSE TITLES!

FountainandFairfax said:

For the love of Pete, POST THOSE TITLES!

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Huh? What, post them here, ye mean? F**k off! Naw, only kidding... :bigsmile: I'll post them tomorrow, if I'm not too busy.
My sister's came up with 5 song title suggestions thus far. Of those 5, I've only used 2. Not bad, but not exactly great, either. Mind you, ever since getting back into attempting to write my own music, I've had to keep a f***king spreadsheet of song titles on my laptop. No joke.

Just posting sth which is kinda how i see god (from The Ocean Of Light | abzu2)

- "The universe is an ocean of light and love. Which means, every being that exists stems from it"
- "Everything that is physical, is only an illusion. Everything that is physical is merely a creation of your mind"
- "From the ego mind is created the whole illusion, is created personality"
- "Which means God is not as you understand, it is not one entity somewhere up in the sky, that controls every movement you make like a figure in a game of chess, or staying in distress, anxiously watching every move you make of every moment waiting to judge and condemn you"
- "Any time when you think, say a word, or commit an act, waves of that force which is ethereal is issued by consciousness and touches everything else on the planet, affects the entire planet and beyond, it is amplified and returns back to you. That is why we say your thoughts create your reality"

I reckon all of the above is as good as any other belief system out there, so for now i'll stick to that or similar.

Ah feel like a psychotic break is closest I'll ever come to taking a vacation.

Shite joke, but it pretty sums up where I'm at mentally - not good. :sad:

FountainandFairfax said:

For the love of Pete, POST THOSE TITLES!

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Okay...yer not gonnae steal these, are ya? :bat: Also, I'm probably gonnae regret this big time. But, here's the song titles ma oldest sister improvised for instrumentals I'd composed within that time, upon hearing the first 10 to 30 seconds of them at most. When the song hus'nae even started yet by that point...


Now, this might be totally c*ntish on my part, right? Or mibbe ah need a different perspective? But, given the amount o' time ye cun spend writing a song, at least give it a decent title, y'know? Especially if you've no gave the composition a name before ye started to write it. And if ye cannae be original with it, at least make it funny, right? So it stands out. Basically, put a bit o' effort into it. Again, that might be me?

I need to go to the beach, I need to feel my feet in the sand and the salt of the ocean in the wind.