The thing is, he is very abusive, psychically, physically. But noone will probably believe what it is like unless they saw it themselves, let alone experience its detrimental effects. Despite that, I couldn´t take if he died or something bad happened to him, the memories and sadness would haunt me forever, not to mention being left alone in the house. It is not necessarily that I don´t know how to take care of myself, but the loneliness is awful. Especially if I will have to keep living at home with all the things reminding me of them, knowing they´re gone forever..