CastlesInTheSky
Member
It makes me terrified when I'm talking to someone and somehow there's a silence, I blame myself painfully because I immedietely think it's my responsibility to break the silence...it's horrible.
Is anyone scared of awkward silences?
- Thread starter CastlesInTheSky
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WhiskeyJack
Well-known member
Yeah, any silence at all and i feel awkward and make some excuse to leave.
Worst place is probably the cantine in work....can be a disaster
Worst place is probably the cantine in work....can be a disaster
Silentknight
Well-known member
Those scare me aswell. I used to think it's just the other person was out of things to say but they have happened so often in my life I'm sure its because people don't want to be around me
The reason silences bother me is because I think it bothers the more extroverted type people, so now because of that I have trouble with silence when with someone, whereas before I didnt give a crap.
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
ummm.....
...yeah, I hate those.
...yeah, I hate those.
Ericisme
Well-known member
TRUE STORY!!
I had a counselor, was a few months back, I forget her name. I been there maybe a few dozen times. Every other time, we'd run out of things to talk about, so we'd LITERALLY would sit there and say nothing for 5-10 minutes.
THENNNNNN.... My last day with her, she tells me to not come back until I'm ready to help myself, and then we sat there for 15-20 minutes of silence, literally.
Even I know that is wrong.
I had a counselor, was a few months back, I forget her name. I been there maybe a few dozen times. Every other time, we'd run out of things to talk about, so we'd LITERALLY would sit there and say nothing for 5-10 minutes.
THENNNNNN.... My last day with her, she tells me to not come back until I'm ready to help myself, and then we sat there for 15-20 minutes of silence, literally.
Even I know that is wrong.
stephen
Well-known member
Richey
Well-known member
nah i don't mind awkward silences, i just don't like it when the content and delivery of a conversation is awkward especially if its me being awkward or nervous ..
silences are fine in my book
alot of people dont cope well with silences but the way i see it is if you dont have anything to talk about then you can be silent, its ok! dont feel that you must fill in gaps just to make noise.
silences are fine in my book
alot of people dont cope well with silences but the way i see it is if you dont have anything to talk about then you can be silent, its ok! dont feel that you must fill in gaps just to make noise.
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I'm Not There
Well-known member
My personal record is about 30 minutes; it occurred in presence of my previous girlfriend and eventually led to our break-up. Since then I'm absolutely terrified of silences in one-on-one conversations.
There's this girl with whom I talk a lot. Well, that's to say, she actually does all the talking and I just sit there and listen. When the rare situation occurs that she stops talking for a moment, I feel this huge pressure on me because then it's my responsability to say something.
There's this girl with whom I talk a lot. Well, that's to say, she actually does all the talking and I just sit there and listen. When the rare situation occurs that she stops talking for a moment, I feel this huge pressure on me because then it's my responsability to say something.
Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
This is my number one social fear. Is there anyway to overcome this? I don't know. When I come across a woman I would like to date, or for that matter anyone random, I am always fearful that I will run out of things to say. I tell myself that it is better that I don't put anyone through that, so I sometimes don't even try to start a conversation. When conversation is so important to friendship and relationships, it is difficult to get either of these things.
A friend
Well-known member
Richey
Well-known member
silences don't bother me at all, it's natural that if people dont have something to say then a conversation will go quiet. in fact generally unless i am with a friend i only have brief input anyway and will talk if i have an opinion ..
i think extroverted people who talk all the time are going to find silences awkward and will say anything to fill the void but i think that shows their own insecurities.
as was said before its those really bubbly types that are needy that i find uncomfortable because they can't handle pauses and silences in the conversation.
i think the more you experience going out with people the more you will accept and understand that silences and periods of non talking are actually very normal.
i think extroverted people who talk all the time are going to find silences awkward and will say anything to fill the void but i think that shows their own insecurities.
as was said before its those really bubbly types that are needy that i find uncomfortable because they can't handle pauses and silences in the conversation.
i think the more you experience going out with people the more you will accept and understand that silences and periods of non talking are actually very normal.
ripewithdecay
Well-known member
Yeah im over silences. In fact, if i feel the tempo of the conversation is leading towards one i just go to the washroom, check text messages on cell phone, etc.
The main thing to do is avoid that voice in your head reminding you that you're in an awkward silence and need to say something quick.
The main thing to do is avoid that voice in your head reminding you that you're in an awkward silence and need to say something quick.
What? That's ridiculous! I would make a better counselor, SA and all. Counselors are paid to counsel. To give advice. Not to sit in awkward silence and then say that silence means you're not ready to help yourself. You're obviously ready to help yourself if you showed up. The silence was her fault, not yours.
RN3
Active member
I am so glad to know that I am not alone. Those awkward silences make me so uncomfortable. I always believe that it is my fault that the conversation has slowed down. I feel that I (and only I) should try to keep it going but if I have nothing to say I quickly excuse myself.
As I sit here typing I am thinking about the many conversations I have had that has ended in this awkward silence. I was usually the person that would find a reason to excuse myself.
Maybe I gave up on the conversation to fast. In the future it may be helpful if I dont walk away. It seems like awkward silences may be normal at times. How you respond to them could be the difference between productive or failed communication.
As I sit here typing I am thinking about the many conversations I have had that has ended in this awkward silence. I was usually the person that would find a reason to excuse myself.
Maybe I gave up on the conversation to fast. In the future it may be helpful if I dont walk away. It seems like awkward silences may be normal at times. How you respond to them could be the difference between productive or failed communication.
