How are you feeling?

Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I went to a group meeting called Grow. At the end of the meeting we all had to join hands and hug, only if we were comfortable doing it. Eeeeeek!

I wanted to grow wings and fly away.

To be honest, I am still getting used to kissing and hugging my sister and cousins, let alone a bunch of strangers I have just met.

I still struggle to finish emails signed off with love, even with my sister. I know it is what she wants to hear, and I appreciate her support and company. Do I feel love? I don't know, I am so distant from people. People are also at arms length. When my mother and father died, their death was kept from me, at a distance, so I didn't get to grieve properly. Their deaths almost didn't seem real to me.

I know I can feel love, I felt it with my pet Lenny, that is why it hurt so unbearably when she died. It left me with the question is loving so much really worth it, when the pain of loss is so great. I saw her suffering up close, and it was horrible, and I am not sure I ever want to go through that again. The next pet I get I want to make sure is long-lived so they will outlive me.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Jungle said:
Don't worry Opaline, here in SocialPhobiaWorld, You Are Not Alone ! :kiss:
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This site has slowed down quite a bit in the years since I joined. I'm glad it's still going, though. The one place where I know there's a group of people who understand.

Thanks.
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Peaceful . . . for now. Digging this quiet Sunday morning: no traffic sounds, no neighbor noise, just one crow calling from the trees, telling me it's going to be all right. :)
 
desery

desery

Well-known member
I can't help but to be sensitive and think what my neighbors think about me, when I think they noticed me being clumsy. I feel this mostly. I don't want to be seen to avoid this negative thoughts..
 
desery

desery

Well-known member
Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about what people think about me. This happens many times now. I just want to feel calm and live with peace in mind.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
damsel22 said:
To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.
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Sorry to quote your signature, damsel22. But I can definitely relate to it. In fact, it pretty much sums my life. :sad:


It's sucks that my life is so dependent upon people who seem more concerned about themselves than my needs, concerns and overall happiness.

Not that I'm all that happy these days, even if ma life seems great to those who don't huv to deal with aw the crap that comes with being disabled.

I'm also tired o' always being forced to put my trust in people who huv let me down in the past, and continue to do so... :kickingmyself:
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
my head is so completely melted

everything feels so hard right now, work, college my personal life. Im really struggling. Getting that feeling of crushing anxiety and exhaustion. Im finding it really tough. Starting to feel like I did when things were bad in the past. I dont really know what to do. I guess Ill maybe take up running again. Maybe thatll help. Ive found my self smoking in the evenings when Im totally stressed, I quit 5 years ago and I dont want to go down that road again. I'm just not handling shit very well at the moment.
 
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GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Sometimes I wonder whose side I'm really on—mine or . . . :idontknow:

I manage to claw my way up the mountain, a few hard-won feet at a time, almost to the top, then I take a mad leap and tumble all the way back to the bottom. :eek:h:

I can only hope that one day the fall will prove fatal and I won't have to climb anymore.
 
M

mantishugo

Well-known member
I'm feeling very hopeful today. I have got my new diet which I have been following since morning. I just hope that I will be consistent in following this great diet plan for my health. I need to reduce 2 kg weight in 1 month, so plenty of time I have got.
 
grapevine

grapevine

Well-known member
Ashamed and distraught from a couple of photos my bf took of me unknowingly. Dont want to be seen at all- known or anything now : ( .

I just dont understand how I can look like that and yet in my good mirrors look different. I mean I just dont know how I look. I thought I was going around fine until the other week he told me things that shattered my perception image of how I thought I looked and then today these photos attest to what he meant/ to me but worse.

I want to run away and hide in shame and sdaness and grief.
 
defiance

defiance

Well-known member
ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, SUICIDAL, DEPRESSED, ANXIOUS, STRESSED...........DID I MISS ANYTHING. I woke up this morning and went into the bathroom because I almost balled my eyes out and I didn't want to wake up anyone. All I was thinking was this is my life THIS IS MY F***ING LIFE. Hope, if you are out there come find me please because there is plenty of room for you as that lot is vacant right now.:kickingmyself:
 
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