How are you feeling?

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Lavinialuna

Well-known member
I hate to hear so many of you are in a dark place. My heart goes out to all of you who are down and suffering.
I myself have been feeling okay, and busy with getting the chicken coop done. Being outside helps and I am starting to wonder if what they say about being outside and putting your bare feet against the earth is true, that it transfers electrons and it is good for grounding yourself. I'm gonna try it.
The Surprising Health Benefits Of Going Barefoot
 
L

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
jaim38 said:
^Thank you Bluedays!


In one of my MOOC classes, the professor taught us to rewire our brains to build an entreprenurial mindset. So, here are the positives:
1. Today will probably be the last time I see these relatives.
2. I found out who I can trust and who I can't.
3. Apologizing isn't so hard. It used to be very difficult for me to apologize to people because I thought my pride would get wounded which I couldn't stand for. Now, I am learning to apologize gracefully. Apologies don't have to mean loss of pride, self esteem, reputation, etc.
4. My CQ has increased a bit
5. My hide has grown thicker. "Nobody likes you" doesn't sting as much as it used to.
6. I have survived after falling so low.
7. Don't take it personally if someone doesn't like me. In this world, there are people who like me and people who don't. I can't make everyone like me, and it's OK. I'm sure celebs, politicians, and other high profile figures have fans and haters.
8. Relatives are just that - relatives. We are related by blood, and nothing else. We don't get to choose which families we are born into. Friends, on the other hand, are made by choice. Not all relatives can be friends, and not all friends are relatives.
9. Live to see tomorrow. Life is too short to worry about the past. Leave the past behind and enjoy the present (or at least try to make it a learning experience).
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I am shocked by their terrible behavior, and also proud of how you handled yourself. Wow, what an inspiration. I hope you can put it behind you. Toxic people are not needed in your life. I always think of that saying "take advice from your dog: kick some grass over that crap and walk away!"
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
I feel dismissed, I just shared the painful experience I've had for being socially anxious with someone and he was like "Yeah, yeah, was that all? Or there was something else?" it really pissed me off and when I called him on it he said, "Just asking". Now I know he's a nice person, he's a lot like me too. He just had the opposite experience than me growing up. He had extremely supportive people around who accepted him for who he was. So he honestly can't relate and was probably just curious. Still, I think it was an inconsiderate way of behaving when I just opened up to him about a very sensitive issue of my life! Gah, I probably should never open up to anyone. >.<
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
My girlfriend is getting a little bit annoyed because I don't share much of myself. She tells me it's okay and I don't have to say anything I don't want to, but she has also told me it's annoying, in a joking way, but I know it gets to her. I haven't really wanted to open up about my depression and anxiety, but I guess that's unavoidable. She's already seen me nervous and I have a "nervous giggle," so it's not like it's totally hidden. I will open up more, though. I have to.

Apart from that, I feel good and ready for new challenges, and current ones (mainly university, haha). :thumbup:
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I know the feeling Mikey. I hope she understands when you do open up. And good luck with your challanges. :)
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Like no matter what I am always wrong. I'm wrong to get offended whenever a racist joke is told in ma presence or at ma expense. Doesnae matter does it, really? How ah feel, eh? Just fake a smile and be happy. Ah think ah'll just keep to masel' from now on... That'll be best.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Srijita52 said:
I feel dismissed, I just shared the painful experience I've had for being socially anxious with someone and he was like "Yeah, yeah, was that all? Or there was something else?" it really pissed me off and when I called him on it he said, "Just asking". Now I know he's a nice person, he's a lot like me too. He just had the opposite experience than me growing up. He had extremely supportive people around who accepted him for who he was. So he honestly can't relate and was probably just curious. Still, I think it was an inconsiderate way of behaving when I just opened up to him about a very sensitive issue of my life! Gah, I probably should never open up to anyone. >.<
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Ah feel the same way, Srijita. :sad:

Just had a similar experience with ma oldest sister today, talking about comedy, when ah tried to explain the difference in context and intent between the time when the American comedienne Janeane Garofalo called me "Wheelchair Man" - is that term offensive? - as a joke because I was only audience member in a wheelchair and when my sister - who's white - compared me to every Middle Eastern stereotype on account of ma beard and brown skin. Anyway, she never saw it from my perspective - but then no-one does.
 
L

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Like no matter what I am always wrong. I'm wrong to get offended whenever a racist joke is told in ma presence or at ma expense. Doesnae matter does it, really? How ah feel, eh? Just fake a smile and be happy. Ah think ah'll just keep to masel' from now on... That'll be best.
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Who is doing this to you Graeme? How rude! I personally won't associate with people who talk like that, and I don't put up with it. Stop associating with these people. Do they think you will find it funny, or is it done to hurt you? It just sucks that there are people out there who still talk like that. I suppose there are less mixed race people in Scotland than there are here, and actually, I live in an area which is mainly people with European decent, but it is so taboo here to talk like that (although there is always an odd duck.)
So sorry you have to deal with that, and you are most certainly not always wrong. I mean, am sure you are wrong a normal amount like everyone else, but not always. (I mean, men are MOSTLY wrong, lol! just teasing!) but still, be a snob. If someone is low enough to belittle someone, just get rid of them. (Don't kill them or anything, I mean, just stop talking to them.) I have very few friends because I have really high standards and a low tolerance for BS. I guess I prefer it that way. I won't settle for bigots. Hugs to you.
 
L

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Ah feel the same way, Srijita. :sad:

Just had a similar experience with ma oldest sister today, talking about comedy, when ah tried to explain the difference in context and intent between the time when the American comedienne Janeane Garofalo called me "Wheelchair Man" - is that term offensive? - as a joke because I was only audience member in a wheelchair and when my sister - who's white - compared me to every Middle Eastern stereotype on account of ma beard and brown skin. Anyway, she never saw it from my perspective - but then no-one does.
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I didn't know it was your sister. I guess you can't just stop talking to her, but I wish they would realize how hurtful they are to you. So sorry.
 
L

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Srijita52 said:
I feel dismissed, I just shared the painful experience I've had for being socially anxious with someone and he was like "Yeah, yeah, was that all? Or there was something else?" it really pissed me off and when I called him on it he said, "Just asking". Now I know he's a nice person, he's a lot like me too. He just had the opposite experience than me growing up. He had extremely supportive people around who accepted him for who he was. So he honestly can't relate and was probably just curious. Still, I think it was an inconsiderate way of behaving when I just opened up to him about a very sensitive issue of my life! Gah, I probably should never open up to anyone. >.<
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I know how you feel. I open my mouth about personal issues and almost immediately regret it. I despise feeling exposed and embarrassed.
My daughter is really sensitive like I am, and is always saying no one understands, and she has no friends (which she does.) But I know what she is saying, she is seeking a deeper relationship with a deeper understanding and none of her friends are fitting the bill. I feel the same very often. What I tell her is that most people CAN'T feel that deep. They just can't. You can't expect a cat to bark. They are like a different breed of people. You have to seek out the ones that are deeper, and it's hard to find them as they are rare.
Sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you don't stop sharing, but I pray the next person you trust understands.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Ah feel the same way, Srijita. :sad:

Just had a similar experience with ma oldest sister today, talking about comedy, when ah tried to explain the difference in context and intent between the time when the American comedienne Janeane Garofalo called me "Wheelchair Man" - is that term offensive? - as a joke because I was only audience member in a wheelchair and when my sister - who's white - compared me to every Middle Eastern stereotype on account of ma beard and brown skin. Anyway, she never saw it from my perspective - but then no-one does.
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I'm sorry you have to deal with this Graeme. Not to sound rude, but your oldest sister needs to grow up. From what you've said about her so far and the way she treats you, she seems like a very unhealthy person and immature as well.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Lavinialuna said:
I know how you feel. I open my mouth about personal issues and almost immediately regret it. I despise feeling exposed and embarrassed.
My daughter is really sensitive like I am, and is always saying no one understands, and she has no friends (which she does.) But I know what she is saying, she is seeking a deeper relationship with a deeper understanding and none of her friends are fitting the bill. I feel the same very often. What I tell her is that most people CAN'T feel that deep. They just can't. You can't expect a cat to bark. They are like a different breed of people. You have to seek out the ones that are deeper, and it's hard to find them as they are rare.
Sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you don't stop sharing, but I pray the next person you trust understands.
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It was more shocking to me because this guy is really deep and sensitive but he's had mostly positive experiences in life so guess that's why he can't understand.
I'm sorry about your daughter, I hope she gets better quality of friends. I know the feeling all too well and its terrible. Thank you, I won't stop sharing. I've accepted the fact that this is how people are, they judge. So they better judge me for who I really am.
 
L

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Srijita52 said:
It was more shocking to me because this guy is really deep and sensitive but he's had mostly positive experiences in life so guess that's why he can't understand.
I'm sorry about your daughter, I hope she gets better quality of friends. I know the feeling all too well and its terrible. Thank you, I won't stop sharing. I've accepted the fact that this is how people are, they judge. So they better judge me for who I really am.
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Yep, let them judge. It changes nothing. I want desperately to see that, and to stop literally feeling words, instead of just hearing them.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Lavinialuna said:
Yep, let them judge. It changes nothing. I want desperately to see that, and to stop literally feeling words, instead of just hearing them.
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Its hard not to feel them, no one likes being judged and it hurts. But I'm trying not to let it get to me. We know who we are more than they do, what they say is subjective anyway.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Lavinialuna said:
I didn't know it was your sister. I guess you can't just stop talking to her, but I wish they would realize how hurtful they are to you. So sorry.
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The emotional damage is done ,who cares? Am the one who's wrong, apparently. Just got move on, despite feel uneasy in ma sister's presence. Anyway, it wuz only a "light-hearted" joke ma sister thought ah'd find funny. Said repeatedly for 5 years - you'd think someone would get bored hearing a joke for that long, let alone, sayin' it - said at every stand-up comedy show we attended since 2009. But she didn't say it to hurt me and wasn't laughin' at me? :confused: :idontknow: :idontknow:

Anyway, am off tae write in ma wee journal on here.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Srijita52 said:
I'm sorry you have to deal with this Graeme. Not to sound rude, but your oldest sister needs to grow up. From what you've said about her so far and the way she treats you, she seems like a very unhealthy person and immature as well.
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While ma sister would defiantly disagree with you, Srijita - ah agree with you, ma sister is immature. But then, she's "not always right, but rarely every wrong" - a verbatim quote she also meant jokingly, but says quite a lot aboot her personality.

Unhealthy? Well, she has little regard for how she comes across to people, in my opinion. And was convince I was in the wrong about the whole context and intent point I was makin' about comedy. She even hud the nerve tae breakdown and cry, saying "Everybuddy's always picking on me" :crying: Should I feel guilty for call her out on this, the fact her so-called "joke" has left a lasting impression on my self-confidence.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Feeling pissed. As if the bullying yesterday and earlier this week wasn't enough, I got bullied by my brother. I was shoved around and threatened because I looked at him. Yep, welcome to my life. Sometimes I dream of being someone else.

I am glad I went yesterday. I did the apology and it went well. I have no more guilt or burdens on my chest. Now, I am officially cutting all ties with my dad's relatives. It will be one of the best decisions I've ever made. I would be crazy to remain any longer, so yesterday is my official "goodbye" day. Henceforth, I am gone for good.

There are so many people in this world I have yet to meet. My next agenda is to meet diverse types of people. I might get an exciting job travelling to different places, meeting different types of people, etc. No time to waste on the past, gotta move forward in life!
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
jaim38 said:
Feeling pissed. As if the bullying yesterday and earlier this week wasn't enough, I got bullied by my brother. I was shoved around and threatened because I looked at him. Yep, welcome to my life. Sometimes I dream of being someone else.
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Maybe you'd be better off not being around yer brother? You shouldn't let him treat you like that.

jaim38 said:
I am glad I went yesterday. I did the apology and it went well. I have no more guilt or burdens on my chest. Now, I am officially cutting all ties with my dad's relatives. It will be one of the best decisions I've ever made. I would be crazy to remain any longer, so yesterday is my official "goodbye" day. Henceforth, I am gone for good.

There are so many people in this world I have yet to meet. My next agenda is to meet diverse types of people. I might get an exciting job travelling to different places, meeting different types of people, etc. No time to waste on the past, gotta move forward in life!
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Sorry tae hear that, Jaim. Dealin' with bullyin' is never easy. Best of luck with meeting diverse people, though. :thumbup:
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Maybe you'd be better off not being around yer brother? You shouldn't let him treat you like that.



Sorry tae hear that, Jaim. Dealin' with bullyin' is never easy. Best of luck with meeting diverse people, though. :thumbup:
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Thanks Graeme! I hope you feel better too! I grew up around these relatives and many times I hear about conflicts between so and so, not to mention lots of passive aggressiveness and backstabbing. I'm their latest victim. It just scares me how mean people can be. It gets old dealing with the same people in the same town.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
jaim38 said:
Thanks Graeme! I hope you feel better too! I grew up around these relatives and many times I hear about conflicts between so and so, not to mention lots of passive aggressiveness and backstabbing. I'm their latest victim. It just scares me how mean people can be. It gets old dealing with the same people in the same town.
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Feelin' a bit better... Though, ah woke up at 5am this morning, my leg's in complete agony. But then, ma cerebral palsy is gettin' worse and I just have to deal with that.

Anyway... I agree with you. It's scare how mean people can be nowadays. Seems there's to be very little empathy in the world today. So much for being nice to each other, eh?

It's not easy growing up around family conflict. I did, and huv'nae turn oot great. Though, ah always avoid causing problems, never speak up, since ah've got enough to handle with my disability.
 
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