FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Just a few times, many years ago.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Just a few times, many years ago.
avaldezbus
Member
I can't believe it! You have just explain EXACTLY the situation I'm in and how my family tells me they understand me and my mental issues yet, behind my back, is cringing and describing me as lazy, unhelpful with my family, selfish and incompassionate towards my parents and family. It's pretty amazing how you're in the same situation I'm in.I'm done with life. What the point anymore? :idontknow:
My anxiety is apparently just an excuse to do bugger all. My physical and leaning disabilities? Same as the aforementioned anxiety. Gotta love how my family will say to me how they get how difficult it must be for me. Yet, they then turn around and call me a liar, lazy, ungrateful and uncaring, etc?I like to think my actions and honesty say otherwise, but f*ck it! It's been the norm in ma family to despise the opposite sex - only if yer women mind you - since I was 8 years old. Don't feel sorry for me, ya get used to be the perpetual scapegoat. Can't do right for doing wrong it seems.
Personally, I genuinely believe they'd be better off and much happier if I were never born. I'm just a burden to them anyhow. :sad: They sure as f*ck don't treat me like their son or brother.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using Tapatalk
cappatown420
Well-known member
Some people think it helps their anxiety, just depends on the person.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Yeah, I've read up on it some, if I decide to do it I'm just going to buy a little and see how it goes.
Just a five-dollar bag of dirt weed, I guess. :bigsmile:
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Oregon has legal rec. :thumbup::bigsmile:
I think you can even get it delivered like pizza
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, that's depressing... Sorry, but it just is. :sad: Is your family cursing (swearing) at you as well? Cuz mine are. :thumbdown:
theslowesthand
Banned
'One more drink and you're sailing away' (listening to gerry rafferty .. and drinkin', solo of course)
Last edited:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I hope things work out well for ya. :thumbup: Though, I feeling similarly directionless in my life at the moment, in terms of where it's going.
defiance
Well-known member
Thanks man. Hope everything works out well for you as well.
theslowesthand
Banned
Running, jiggling, restless, nervy. Oh well, it must be time for fast/crazy music - i'll start off with van halen; that should do the trick. probably will have a glass of vodka in a bit, as beer's not quite cutting it. :thumbup:
Edit: Mood's still f*cked, as is day, but "settling down" to Led Zeppelin now.
Edit: That didn't last long. Back to Van Halen again (is more f*ckin kick-***/action/wild; think GNR might also be good now). 'Running with the devil!'. CONSTANT CRAZY ACTION is required!!!
Edit: Now playing my Pearl Jam compilation tape playlist (Pearl Jam compilation)
Edit: Mood's still f*cked, as is day, but "settling down" to Led Zeppelin now.
Edit: That didn't last long. Back to Van Halen again (is more f*ckin kick-***/action/wild; think GNR might also be good now). 'Running with the devil!'. CONSTANT CRAZY ACTION is required!!!
Edit: Now playing my Pearl Jam compilation tape playlist (Pearl Jam compilation)
Last edited:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, things seem to be looking up, actually. Today, I vented to my mum my frustration of how things have been for in the past month, with my middle sister being here with her kids. Just a tsunami of verbal rage. And, for once, my mother didn't deflect the points I raised, make excuses or call me a liar. She was actually honest. I'm no longer the ones who's "lazy" or "difficult to live".
Oh, and I finally got a heartbreaking reason for my mother constantly keeping things bottled up, and "Keeping the peace". :sad: It's due her high blood-pressure, I can't even begin to imagine what how stress must be affecting that? But, yeah, I think if she were to go off like ah do went I get pissed about her "indifference", she's scared she'll drop dead of a heart attack. :crying:
defiance
Well-known member
My anxiety is crippling me so much lately that I just want to blow my brains out so I can be done with it. I am tired of feeling cold, numb, constantly shaking and scared. Oh lets not forget depressed and suicidal. It would be nice to just go to sleep and never to wake up again. If only I had died when I was ill as a child. This life is a recurring nightmare and I can't wake up from it. I hate that my wonderful Mom had to have a son like me who only excels at letting her down. My thoughts are just everywhere right now so I better leave it at that and go. Hope everyone else is doing better than I am.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same here, man. :
:I can relate there. I've been a massive disappointment to my Mum as well. :crying:
That's pretty much been my life for the past, almost 2 months. :sad: I'm only doing slightly better due to finally getting an apology from my Mum for having put up with almost 20 years of narcissistic, physical and emotional abuse.
Last edited:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Can't sleep. Mind racing with scenarios which have only ever played out in my head. Dreading the coming weeks and how I will react to my middle sister saying "Sorry" for how she behaved since she moved back with Mum and I. Oh, and the addition of her 2 kids.
And, given that I've witnessed her flee off the handle ... again!. That's twice in the space of a month. Shouting n' crying like a baby. :kickingmyself: Would I be considered a heartless b@$%@rd for just cut her outta my life. Oh, and I overheard she mocking my anxiety and depression issues to our mother. :: Which, for me, is reason to get her the f*ck outta my life. :veryangry: Ironically enough, she says she "cares" about me.
And, given that I've witnessed her flee off the handle ... again!. That's twice in the space of a month. Shouting n' crying like a baby. :kickingmyself: Would I be considered a heartless b@$%@rd for just cut her outta my life. Oh, and I overheard she mocking my anxiety and depression issues to our mother. :
: Which, for me, is reason to get her the f*ck outta my life. :veryangry: Ironically enough, she says she "cares" about me. 
AtTheGates
Banned
currently learning about the history of correctional institutions in my criminal justice class.
Before William Penn came along , the prison system in america was really screwed up. a lot of prisoners would face capitol punishment (The death penalty) for just about ANY crime...but William Penn tried his best to bring christian values to the prison system because he ACTUALLY cared. He had a good heart. people back then in general didnt know WHAT the hell they were doing but HIS heart was in the right place. He really tried. unfortunately we now know that the way solitary confinement is applied to inmates can actually be VERY detrimental ...but I think in some cases in CAN be beneficial , as long as its applied properly. Monks practice a version of solitary confinement and it works well for them...but then again they arent LOCKED in their rooms for days on end.
Excerpt from this article: "The Quakers, led by William Penn, made colonial Pennsylvania an exception to the harsh practices often found in the other colonies. The early criminal code of colonial Pennsylvania abolished executions for all crimes except homicide, replaced physical punishments with imprisonment and hard labor, and did not charge the prisoners for their food and housing"
William Penn also said: "All persons are equal under god"
History of Corrections—Punishment, Prevention, or Rehabilitation? - Dictionary definition of History of Corrections—Punishment, Prevention, or Rehabilitation? | Encyclopedia.com: FREE online dictionary
Before William Penn came along , the prison system in america was really screwed up. a lot of prisoners would face capitol punishment (The death penalty) for just about ANY crime...but William Penn tried his best to bring christian values to the prison system because he ACTUALLY cared. He had a good heart. people back then in general didnt know WHAT the hell they were doing but HIS heart was in the right place. He really tried. unfortunately we now know that the way solitary confinement is applied to inmates can actually be VERY detrimental ...but I think in some cases in CAN be beneficial , as long as its applied properly. Monks practice a version of solitary confinement and it works well for them...but then again they arent LOCKED in their rooms for days on end.
Excerpt from this article: "The Quakers, led by William Penn, made colonial Pennsylvania an exception to the harsh practices often found in the other colonies. The early criminal code of colonial Pennsylvania abolished executions for all crimes except homicide, replaced physical punishments with imprisonment and hard labor, and did not charge the prisoners for their food and housing"
William Penn also said: "All persons are equal under god"
History of Corrections—Punishment, Prevention, or Rehabilitation? - Dictionary definition of History of Corrections—Punishment, Prevention, or Rehabilitation? | Encyclopedia.com: FREE online dictionary
Last edited:
defiance
Well-known member
I feel it's really so hard to be in the situation I'm in as well. I need to talk, talk, talk but don't want to bother anyone and plus I would choose the only kind of people I would consider talking to. I feel for you defiance!:
Thank you jinxed. I am sorry for the fact you are suffering so much as well. Hope you find the answers you are seeking. Best of luck to you:thumbup: