How are you feeling?

[defiance]

Can't sleep. Mind racing with scenarios which have only ever played out in my head. Dreading the coming weeks and how I will react to my middle sister saying "Sorry" for how she behaved since she moved back with Mum and I. Oh, and the addition of her 2 kids.

And, given that I've witnessed her flee off the handle ... again!. That's twice in the space of a month. Shouting n' crying like a baby. :kickingmyself: Would I be considered a heartless b@$%@rd for just cut her outta my life. Oh, and I overheard she mocking my anxiety and depression issues to our mother. :: Which, for me, is reason to get her the f*ck outta my life. :veryangry: Ironically enough, she says she "cares" about me.

Man that really makes me angry when people mock individuals because they can't understand their suffering. I would love for those people to have to carry our exact burden for at least a year. I have a feeling that quite a few of them would probably blow their brains out because this is such a heavy burden to carry. For those who come out alive on the other side well...then we can say to them now imagine having to carry that burden for over 15 years. I feel as if this is the only way people like that will understand. I'm sorry they don't understand your pain man. It's like if they can't see the wound on your body then it doesn't exist because you can't see mental wounds. Again sorry you have to deal with that Graeme.

 

[Graeme1988]

Man that really makes me angry when people mock individuals because they can't understand their suffering. I would love for those people to have to carry our exact burden for at least a year. I have a feeling that quite a few of them would probably blow their brains out because this is such a heavy burden to carry. For those who come out alive on the other side well...then we can say to them now imagine having to carry that burden for over 15 years. I feel as if this is the only way people like that will understand. I'm sorry they don't understand your pain man. It's like if they can't see the wound on your body then it doesn't exist because you can't see mental wounds. Again sorry you have to deal with that Graeme.

Thanks for those kind words, defiance. :thumbup: And I agree with your point about just because you can't see a wound on someone's body, doesn't mean they don't have wounds, mentally and emotional. Though, I actually have all of the above thanks to how my family have treated me over the year.

But ya don't feel sorry for me. Naw, things are changing. My mother and eldest sister have finally came to see that I've been right all these years, when I'd described my middle sister as violatile, temperamental, unreasonable, inconsiderate, spoiled bitch. :thumbdown: Cuz everytime she visits, she'd start an argument over the most trivial thing. Then, as soon as she'd leave, once her visit ended, my first question - after we all sighed and went: "Thank f*ck that's over! - would always be:

"Why does she always argue?! Every single f*cking time she here?!" :kickingmyself:
And our Mum would say: "Aww, but she's doesnae mean it. C'mon!"​

As though starting argument over why ya suddenly changed the TV channel from what you were watching to see check the latest sports results - that's "normal", is it?

But I've had enough, once she's get this temporary accommodation in a few weeks time, I'm cutting her outta my life. Because she has treated me, my eldest sister and our Mum like sh!t. Just kicked off, started argument that she feels we must apologise for, as she's the victim in all this. She's stressed. She's finding it difficult to cope. Nevermind, if she's moved back home with her kids amid a bitter divorce, and our Mum hasn't got a moment's rest in a month and broke down in tears more than once.

And I've been forced to keep quiet and not say a word because my middle sister has already berated me for trying to be the voice of reason and lied about what I said to her. Tell our Mum that I marched halfway down the stair upon being woke by her shouting and, according to her perspective, I said the following:
"Would you... shutdaf*ckup!!"

When I actually said: "Sorry, but would ye mind, ah don't know...?
Mibbe calming doon!? F*ckin' hell! Shoutin' yer heid isn't the best way to win an argument, y'know?"​

So, yeah, things are about to drastic change in terms of my relationship with my family. And no apology or amount of money is going to keep me on good terms with them. I've kept quiet and tolerate the arguments and reluctantly forgave them for how they acted towrds, and treated me for nearly 20 years now. Not anymore!

 

[Graeme1988]

Dreading the day when my middle sister finally moves back out of the house. :sad: Mainly because I had a lucid dream about my confrontation with her about her behaviour and attitude for the past couple months which was... real as f*ck! :sad:

 

[defiance]

Thanks for those kind words, defiance. :thumbup: And I agree with your point about just because you can't see a wound on someone's body, doesn't mean they don't have wounds, mentally and emotional. Though, I actually have all of the above thanks to how my family have treated me over the year.

But ya don't feel sorry for me. Naw, things are changing. My mother and eldest sister have finally came to see that I've been right all these years, when I'd described my middle sister as violatile, temperamental, unreasonable, inconsiderate, spoiled bitch. :thumbdown: Cuz everytime she visits, she'd start an argument over the most trivial thing. Then, as soon as she'd leave, once her visit ended, my first question - after we all sighed and went: "Thank f*ck that's over! - would always be:

"Why does she always argue?! Every single f*cking time she here?!" :kickingmyself:
And our Mum would say: "Aww, but she's doesnae mean it. C'mon!"​

As though starting argument over why ya suddenly changed the TV channel from what you were watching to see check the latest sports results - that's "normal", is it?

But I've had enough, once she's get this temporary accommodation in a few weeks time, I'm cutting her outta my life. Because she has treated me, my eldest sister and our Mum like sh!t. Just kicked off, started argument that she feels we must apologise for, as she's the victim in all this. She's stressed. She's finding it difficult to cope. Nevermind, if she's moved back home with her kids amid a bitter divorce, and our Mum hasn't got a moment's rest in a month and broke down in tears more than once.

And I've been forced to keep quiet and not say a word because my middle sister has already berated me for trying to be the voice of reason and lied about what I said to her. Tell our Mum that I marched halfway down the stair upon being woke by her shouting and, according to her perspective, I said the following:
"Would you... shutdaf*ckup!!"

When I actually said: "Sorry, but would ye mind, ah don't know...?
Mibbe calming doon!? F*ckin' hell! Shoutin' yer heid isn't the best way to win an argument, y'know?"​

So, yeah, things are about to drastic change in terms of my relationship with my family. And no apology or amount of money is going to keep me on good terms with them. I've kept quiet and tolerate the arguments and reluctantly forgave them for how they acted towrds, and treated me for nearly 20 years now. Not anymore!

Sorry to hear about the physical abuse as well. Damn man people should not be able to get away with shit like that. However, I hope what you said about them finally coming around is true. That way you can hopefully get a little peace of mind. Also I don't blame you for not wanting to forgive them. I don't think I could either being in your shoes. There is just too much there to be able to forgive I guess. Everybody is different and maybe some people can forgive people like this but me personally I couldn't.

 

[Graeme1988]

Sorry to hear about the physical abuse as well. Damn man people should not be able to get away with shit like that.

Och! It was a minor physical abuse. My middle sister shoved me when I was wee and smashed my chin off the TV cabinet. Split it open and need stitches. My Mum slapped me once, and in my late teens, she drove a pair of manicure scissors into my left hand, millimetres from my pinky knuckle. All because I wouldn't let her cut my fingernails. I know... weird! But was nothing major, just left a small, barely noticeable scar. Compared to the surgical scars I have from a year ago, but it this way, ya won't notice it, unless I removed the all the hair on my left arm.

But, sadly, my Mum and eldest sister think that just saying "Sorry" is enough. Particularly my mother, she'd rather just "...forget about it, and move on". The middle sister she'll nitpick the f*ck outta why ya feel the way ya. Yet, ironically, she had the nerve to say I was being overly dramatic last month, when I said I felt like killing myself rather than put up with her constant arguments. Then, just a few days, she throw a hissy fit because our Mum has been telling my eldest sister's boyfriend how she's been feeling, lately. And I quietly creep down starts to the use the toilet, to witness my middle sister being held back by our mother as she screams at her to...

"LET ME GO, MUM!! I'M AN ADULT!!! JUST LET ME GET OUTTA HERE!! YA DON'T WANT ME HERE, ANYWAY!!" mg:
(Oh! To put this outburst in its proper context, keep in mind that this was said by a woman in her 30s! Her 30s...) ​

However, I hope what you said about them finally coming around is true. That way you can hopefully get a little peace of mind.

Well, they finally seem to have realised that my rants, which would occur in the wake of my middle sis's visit ending, were more accurate than just me mocking her for a laugh. Cuz I'd go off on a tangent about her. Swearing. Yelling at our Mum outta frustration: "Every-f*ckin'-time!! Whit did ah tell ye!? Even afore she got here, ah knew it'd happen... Why is she like that?!" Throwing in a high-pitched impression of her voice, more to express how irritating it was than, for comic affect.

Anyway, I think they might've come around. As, just a few days, I vented to my mother while the middle sister went to her friend's house for a bit with the kids. And, even though, I was bringing up my mother's past abusive relationships to question why she doesn't tolerate me disrespecting her, but she'll let my middle sister? Then she says it's due to her not wanting aggrivate her high blood pressure - which I can understand. Then she goes she doesn't want to upset her youngest daughter (my middle sis). And when I point out that: "You're the parent, though! You don't have to put with that from yer own kid"

Then, a few hours later that same day, I went for a car ride with my eldest sister, and we spent the majority it just going off on our middle sibling. How the outburst was comical, given our sister age. And got pissed off that she's had the nerve to accuse our Mum of doing nothing for her. When she hasn't been off her feet since our sister moved back home with her kids. And when I said:

"She doesnae even care that her divorce is also affecting us, too. And her kids. But no, it's aw aboot her. She's the victim in aw this! It's as if she'll only listen if we tell her exactly what she wants to. Otherwise, we're in the wrong, we don't care, we're picking on... Blah-blah-blah! Gimme a break!"

My eldest sister chuckled at how I ended the latter part of my rant, in a sarcastic tone, and without miss a beat said:
"Ha! Y'know summit? You've hit the nail on the head there, Graeme. Yer right!"​

So, there must be some truth my observations, as my mother is normally quick to contradict and disagree with. But she hasn't lately, so... I think that says a lot

Also I don't blame you for not wanting to forgive them. I don't think I could either being in your shoes. There is just too much there to be able to forgive I guess. Everybody is different and maybe some people can forgive people like this but me personally I couldn't.

I get where you're coming from. But I'm going to forgive my Mum, since she did, near the start of September just passed, walk into my room looking a bit upset and said that she'd taken me for granted all this time. And if she could go back and change how she treated me over the years, she would. So, it'd be heartless of me to cut ties with her. My eldest sister? Well, we've only had 2 huge disgreement in the past 3 years, so can't really stay mad at her. And my eldest sis did console me after our middle sibling went off on me for asking her to calm down.

But... my middle sister, on the other hand. Given how she's had nerve to call me overdramatic, when she's been one shouting her head off and causing argument over shit ya wouldn't start fights over. But, mocked my mental health issues. Her smug, sanctimonious attitude, acting as though she doesn't have pull her weight around here And how she's treated and spoken to our Mum these past couple months... :thumbdown: Naw, naw! That's not on! Sorry, but ya can't say ya care about yer family then turn round and treat them like crap!

And I know, families all huv disagreements. But my middle sister seems to enjoy pissing up off. Nitpicking, misinterupting, making assumptions.

And... she hasn't shown a shred of gratitude or empathy towards me, our Mum or her older sister, since she moved back home. And, not a single apology for her outburst towards us, either. So, as far as I'm concerned, she can f*ck off. I sure won't be speaking to her for a long time. Nah! It'll take more than saying sorry to make amends for her behaviour this time around. :veryangry:

 

[Sarah_M]

I feel incredibly stupid right now - kind of just want to slit my wrists and be done with it.

 

[Graeme1988]

kind of just want to slit my wrists and be done with it.

After the stressful 2 months I've just had, I feel the exactly the same way. :sad:

 

[defiance]

Och! It was a minor physical abuse. My middle sister shoved me when I was wee and smashed my chin off the TV cabinet. Split it open and need stitches. My Mum slapped me once, and in my late teens, she drove a pair of manicure scissors into my left hand, millimetres from my pinky knuckle. All because I wouldn't let her cut my fingernails. I know... weird! But was nothing major, just left a small, barely noticeable scar. Compared to the surgical scars I have from a year ago, but it this way, ya won't notice it, unless I removed the all the hair on my left arm.

But, sadly, my Mum and eldest sister think that just saying "Sorry" is enough. Particularly my mother, she'd rather just "...forget about it, and move on". The middle sister she'll nitpick the f*ck outta why ya feel the way ya. Yet, ironically, she had the nerve to say I was being overly dramatic last month, when I said I felt like killing myself rather than put up with her constant arguments. Then, just a few days, she throw a hissy fit because our Mum has been telling my eldest sister's boyfriend how she's been feeling, lately. And I quietly creep down starts to the use the toilet, to witness my middle sister being held back by our mother as she screams at her to...

"LET ME GO, MUM!! I'M AN ADULT!!! JUST LET ME GET OUTTA HERE!! YA DON'T WANT ME HERE, ANYWAY!!" mg:
(Oh! To put this outburst in its proper context, keep in mind that this was said by a woman in her 30s! Her 30s...) ​

Well, they finally seem to have realised that my rants, which would occur in the wake of my middle sis's visit ending, were more accurate than just me mocking her for a laugh. Cuz I'd go off on a tangent about her. Swearing. Yelling at our Mum outta frustration: "Every-f*ckin'-time!! Whit did ah tell ye!? Even afore she got here, ah knew it'd happen... Why is she like that?!" Throwing in a high-pitched impression of her voice, more to express how irritating it was than, for comic affect.

Anyway, I think they might've come around. As, just a few days, I vented to my mother while the middle sister went to her friend's house for a bit with the kids. And, even though, I was bringing up my mother's past abusive relationships to question why she doesn't tolerate me disrespecting her, but she'll let my middle sister? Then she says it's due to her not wanting aggrivate her high blood pressure - which I can understand. Then she goes she doesn't want to upset her youngest daughter (my middle sis). And when I point out that: "You're the parent, though! You don't have to put with that from yer own kid"

Then, a few hours later that same day, I went for a car ride with my eldest sister, and we spent the majority it just going off on our middle sibling. How the outburst was comical, given our sister age. And got pissed off that she's had the nerve to accuse our Mum of doing nothing for her. When she hasn't been off her feet since our sister moved back home with her kids. And when I said:

"She doesnae even care that her divorce is also affecting us, too. And her kids. But no, it's aw aboot her. She's the victim in aw this! It's as if she'll only listen if we tell her exactly what she wants to. Otherwise, we're in the wrong, we don't care, we're picking on... Blah-blah-blah! Gimme a break!"

My eldest sister chuckled at how I ended the latter part of my rant, in a sarcastic tone, and without miss a beat said:
"Ha! Y'know summit? You've hit the nail on the head there, Graeme. Yer right!"​

So, there must be some truth my observations, as my mother is normally quick to contradict and disagree with. But she hasn't lately, so... I think that says a lot



I get where you're coming from. But I'm going to forgive my Mum, since she did, near the start of September just passed, walk into my room looking a bit upset and said that she'd taken me for granted all this time. And if she could go back and change how she treated me over the years, she would. So, it'd be heartless of me to cut ties with her. My eldest sister? Well, we've only had 2 huge disgreement in the past 3 years, so can't really stay mad at her. And my eldest sis did console me after our middle sibling went off on me for asking her to calm down.

But... my middle sister, on the other hand. Given how she's had nerve to call me overdramatic, when she's been one shouting her head off and causing argument over shit ya wouldn't start fights over. But, mocked my mental health issues. Her smug, sanctimonious attitude, acting as though she doesn't have pull her weight around here And how she's treated and spoken to our Mum these past couple months... :thumbdown: Naw, naw! That's not on! Sorry, but ya can't say ya care about yer family then turn round and treat them like crap!

And I know, families all huv disagreements. But my middle sister seems to enjoy pissing up off. Nitpicking, misinterupting, making assumptions.

And... she hasn't shown a shred of gratitude or empathy towards me, our Mum or her older sister, since she moved back home. And, not a single apology for her outburst towards us, either. So, as far as I'm concerned, she can f*ck off. I sure won't be speaking to her for a long time. Nah! It'll take more than saying sorry to make amends for her behaviour this time around. :veryangry:

Oh wow, if your mom said that she was sorry for all that she has done and that she wishes she could have changed it, then I have to agree with you and say that it would be right to forgive her. It takes a lot for a person to admit to years of neglect. So I guess what I am saying is that if she is being genuine with her words, then it would only be right to forgive her.

 

[defiance]

I feel incredibly stupid right now - kind of just want to slit my wrists and be done with it.

These last few months have been extremely brutal for me as well. So the thought of ending it has been there everyday ever since. Sorry you are in such a bad place right now Sarah.

 

[Graeme1988]

Oh wow, if your mom said that she was sorry for all that she has done and that she wishes she could have changed it, then I have to agree with you and say that it would be right to forgive her. It takes a lot for a person to admit to years of neglect. So I guess what I am saying is that if she is being genuine with her words, then it would only be right to forgive her.

Well, she hugged me after telling me that she was sorry. So, I'm taking that mean her words and apology were genuine. Aye, it took her 15 years and the realisation that I was never the "difficult" one, outta me and and my older sisters. I just seemed like I was because I refused to browbeaten and manipulated into doing something if I didn't feel like it. Not saying I won't do something for someone if asked politely.

I mean, I can remember writing out Birthday cards that were just thrown into my lap.

"Here. Write this... Thanks". Having to ask who's Birthday it is, and how to spell the relatives now correctly as I write.

Cuz apparently, saying: "Hey, it's yer cousin's Birthday, the day! Ah know, ya don't really see them, but d'ye mind writing them this card?" That's just asking a bit much. :thumbdown:​

Though, maybe now she'll get why I kept asking if she knew what it's been like for me growing up, without my dad or any positive male role models in my life. Growing up in matriarchal household, surround by argumentative, narcissistic women. Burdened with the responsibility of being the "Man of the House". But never being taken seriously when I'd try to live up to that expectation, as I'm the youngest in the family.

As well as having to endure endless man-hating rants from my Mum and emasculated, humiliating putdowns from my sisters. Like being told 'Im just like my dad - intimidating and bad tampered. Which makes me wonder: do all kids who look exactly like one of their parents, also act like them, too? Oh! And nevermind if my mother and sisters were deliberately trying to provoke a violent reaction from me at times. I know, not very smart. But neither are they.

But they soon shut up when I snapped and pointed out that those remarks could be the reason why they're relationships with men were so tumultuous? The lack of respect? :question: :idontknow:

Anyway, it'd be nice to finally get some closure, there. As I've been trying to fix my dysfunctional relationship with my mother, ever since my Dad died in 2012.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant.

 

[defiance]

Well, she hugged me after telling me that she was sorry. So, I'm taking that mean her words and apology were genuine. Aye, it took her 15 years and the realisation that I was never the "difficult" one, outta me and and my older sisters. I just seemed like I was because I refused to browbeaten and manipulated into doing something if I didn't feel like it. Not saying I won't do something for someone if asked politely.

I mean, I can remember writing out Birthday cards that were just thrown into my lap.

"Here. Write this... Thanks". Having to ask who's Birthday it is, and how to spell the relatives now correctly as I write.

Cuz apparently, saying: "Hey, it's yer cousin's Birthday, the day! Ah know, ya don't really see them, but d'ye mind writing them this card?" That's just asking a bit much. :thumbdown:​

Though, maybe now she'll get why I kept asking if she knew what it's been like for me growing up, without my dad or any positive male role models in my life. Growing up in matriarchal household, surround by argumentative, narcissistic women. Burdened with the responsibility of being the "Man of the House". But never being taken seriously when I'd try to live up to that expectation, as I'm the youngest in the family.

As well as having to endure endless man-hating rants from my Mum and emasculated, humiliating putdowns from my sisters. Like being told 'Im just like my dad - intimidating and bad tampered. Which makes me wonder: do all kids who look exactly like one of their parents, also act like them, too? Oh! And nevermind if my mother and sisters were deliberately trying to provoke a violent reaction from me at times. I know, not very smart. But neither are they.

But they soon shut up when I snapped and pointed out that those remarks could be the reason why they're relationships with men were so tumultuous? The lack of respect? :question: :idontknow:

Anyway, it'd be nice to finally get some closure, there. As I've been trying to fix my dysfunctional relationship with my mother, ever since my Dad died in 2012.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant.

No worries man. Hope things do change for the better.:thumbup:

 

[Sarah_M]

These last few months have been extremely brutal for me as well. So the thought of ending it has been there everyday ever since. Sorry you are in such a bad place right now Sarah.

Thank you and I'm sorry you feel that way - it totally sucks. I'm just having one of those days where I feel like a complete uglyidiotloserpieceofshit :/

On the plus side, there's a male nurse that I keep getting to see today - he's definitely not interested in me, but damn is he cute/extremely nice.

 

[theslowesthand]

But they soon shut up when I snapped and pointed out that those remarks could be the reason why they're relationships with men were so tumultuous? The lack of respect? :question: :idontknow:

I think ya may have hit the nail on the head there. "Respect" apparently (so i've read) is one of the primary needs a man must have in a working/functional relationship (for women it's to feel loved).

 

[Graeme1988]

I think ya may have hit the nail on the head there. "Respect" apparently (so i've read) is one of the primary needs a man must have in a working/functional relationship (for women it's to feel loved).

Indeed! That is true. But sadly, that's not how it works in my family. Cuz, the 3 women whom I was raised by and around geniunely believe that apparently just doing something for someone automatically means you're deserving of respect. That's how it works, right? :question: :idontknow:

I'd even argue that my Mum and older sisters feel they deserve respect simply for being women? At least, going by their attitude and bragging they're better than me? But I might be confusing respect with narcissism? In fact, I am.

Oh, and when I made that observation, I was in my late teens or early 20s, but they paid no attention to what I was saying back then. Just berated me for pointing it out. And little, if anything, has changed 10 years on. :kickingmyself:

 

[theslowesthand]

My old man must not have an amygdala (or else it was damaged), as he has ZERO fear of change. So, fairly regularly, he F*CKS ME UP (right now i'm on the verge of depression, due to talking to him, about what HE's gonna do - 'i'm GONNA do this, and i'm GONNA do that'). He seems to like "destroying" the status quo, just for the sake of it (appetite for destruction). Seriously, he's like a whole different species to me. I just don't "get" him (nor him me). He's like a cat, in that every few days he gets restless & needs to change where he sleeps!. One thing's for sure, i won't miss the hyperactive, domineering c*nt when he's gone.

 

[defiance]

Just really sad about the events that took place in Las Vegas recently. Such violence............what's the point? Life is hard enough as it is just going from day to day. Things like this should not exist. But then again I am being optimistic because it is a fact that there are just some evil b@stards that get a sick kick out of harming others. I feel so bad for them.:crying:

 

[AtTheGates]

I saw a preview for a new documentary series on CNN a few days ago where a woman being interviewed said "the way you eat has a lot to do with the way you have sex" ..and in the preview they were eating chocolate all seductively and looking into the camera..WHAT?!...CNN is mainstream news media..they're practically a household name and THAT is the kind of crap they're broadcasting? ...Id understand if something like that was aired on vice news ..but CNN?

anyway I still need to watch that whole episode because hopefully the host will actually place those ridiculous theories in proper context.



it just makes me think of how the clinton-lewinski scandal was talked about on pretty much ALL news outlets and this conversation came up in society about whether or not oral sex is considered ACTUAL sex...and a lot of people were saying that no , it doesnt count...when in reality, oral sex IS actual sex. period.

topics like this CAN effect cultural perception of what is right and wrong/morals and values. if people are tying to "re-define" certain aspects of culture then they should could have a DAMN good reason as to why they're doing it...As opposed to a reason that just panders to people's baser tendencies .

like I said, CNN is mainstream news media..which means ALOT of people are hearing what they say...they are broadcast into millions of televisions across the country on a daily basis ...and the people who dont know any better just eat that stuff up and barely think twice about it.

when I see this kind of stuff I think about how it can affect society overall, not just how it affects ME. Think about it like this , if you had a daughter would you want her thinking that oral sex isn't real sex and that the way you eat is supposed to be overly sexualized?

'Clinton-Lewinsky Effect': Study Shows Students' Changing Views Of Oral Sex | HuffPost

 

[AtTheGates]

Just really sad about the events that took place in Las Vegas recently. Such violence............what's the point? Life is hard enough as it is just going from day to day. Things like this should not exist. But then again I am being optimistic because it is a fact that there are just some evil b@stards that get a sick kick out of harming others. I feel so bad for them.:crying:

I agree , its terrible . These mass shootings just keep getting worse. SOMETHING has to be done about gun control laws but also how those laws are enforced . If there is a way to modify a semiautomatic weapon into being used the same way as a fully automatic weapon then the law put in place in 1986 (banning fully automatic weapons) is hardly even effective.


ALSO, if people still own fully automatic weapons that they bought before 1986 then there needs to be a manufacturer recall.

people can and will improvise (ISIS does it all the time, for example) but restrictions need to be put in place to crack down on the WAYS they improvise .


IMO, This is unacceptable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDysBDAIzq8

 

[Graeme1988]

Actually dreading my middle sister getting a place of her own. Not that I want her to stay with my Mum and I much longer. The sooner she buggers off the better. But I just have this vision of me, my eldest sister and our Mum breaking in tears as soon as she's gone.

Also, got my own personal conflict. In that, do I go off on my middle sister the day she leaves for having the nerve to apologise to me 2 months after she berated me for telling her to calm down, and I say I'd rather kill myself than put up with the sound of her shouting and acting like spoiled child. Which seems fair, right? I mean, would you want to be around a person who you have be careful what you say, and how you say it, for fear of upsetting them, and having to deal with as fly into a rage?

It amazing how my Mum can handle my middle sister when she has one of those outbursts, as I would be physically restraining her with a rear naked choke.

Some in my family perceive me like that, but I'm only intimidating due my size, height, beard and bald head.
And, well... The accent.

But, yeah, I've had enough of my middle sister's violatile outbursts where it's impossible to reason with her. I've had endure listen and being on the receiving end of those for the past 19 years of my life. :veryangry: So, for my own sanity, I think I'll not speak to her much in the coming years. A person who has zero empathy for what others go through, nor gratitude for the people who support them through tough times, is not someone I'd proud to call family. :sad:

 

[Sarah_M]

Today has been amazing! Math is making sense and I made a friend, like, a REAL friend. She is amazing and we have so much in common - I feel so thankful right now. We're going to start hanging out more often