MollyBeGood
Well-known member
My anxiety is off the charts today. I need to get a grip on this.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
theslowesthand
Banned
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MollyBeGood
Well-known member
^ha yeah thanks.
theslowesthand
Banned
Speaking of anxiety, mine must be pretty high too, as i feel on the verge of collapsing into the black hole that is depression. Maybe i'm not drinking enough?
defiance
Well-known member
The demons are trying to push me over a cliff. The sad thing is they have weakened me so much over the years that I am not resisting that push anymore. I am getting fed up with the amount of times I have written the same thing on this site about how much I wish my life would come to an end so my suffering could stop. But hey at the same time I cannot help what and how I feel.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah feel that my family intentionally pisses me off, just to hear me making a observations about them that are both accurate, darkly humourous in their shock value and unflinchingly honest.
I have awful feeling that am gonnae snap n' just go off at my Mum, once the middle sister and her kids move out. :sad: More for her inability to stand up for herself when my middle sister yell at her, but she's got no issue talking back to me when I do it.
But those are kinda mixed message I've been getting over the years.
Ah don't know... It just feel like a f*ckin' tsunami of verbal f*ckin' rage and frustration is going spout forth from me. :kickingmyself:
The past 2 months alone huv been utter sh!te, absolutely hellish! And, as per usual, ah wus the scapegoat for everybuddy's problems.
I have awful feeling that am gonnae snap n' just go off at my Mum, once the middle sister and her kids move out. :sad: More for her inability to stand up for herself when my middle sister yell at her, but she's got no issue talking back to me when I do it.
But those are kinda mixed message I've been getting over the years.Ah don't know... It just feel like a f*ckin' tsunami of verbal f*ckin' rage and frustration is going spout forth from me. :kickingmyself:
The past 2 months alone huv been utter sh!te, absolutely hellish! And, as per usual, ah wus the scapegoat for everybuddy's problems.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Feeling totally numb, then? If so, I can definitely relate, sadly. :sad:
defiance
Well-known member
Yeah you can definitely say that again. I go numb, my body gets really cold and I may or may not start to shake a little. It is a total nightmare man. This life feels like a prison sentence and my freedom is death. I'm just no good at this life thing. Sorry I ranted a bit there.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Don't feel sorry for ranting, I totally understand where yer comin' from.
So, you're not alone in how ya feel. As sad as it is to say that. :sad:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
And thanks for wishing me luck, as I think I'm going to need it? As I'm going to do something outta character and stand up to my middle sister soon. And she can be quite a violatile person... Loses her temper at the littlest thing.
Though, that's an understatement. :kickingmyself:
defiance
Well-known member
Thank you jinxed
theslowesthand
Banned
So you have anxiety attacks huh? I've had one or two of those - not pleasant.
I feel like a prisoner of my own mind, and my mind is seriously dysfunctional, and unfortunately my mind is the jailor (ie he's mentally insane & dysfunctional).
I've never been good at life. I've gone thru a great many mental/emotional hardships, due to my dis-ability to be able to live "right".
Death is my only real salvation; all my vexing & complex & impossible problems will then be gone. But for now, i feel i must keep going, so i am, just for the sake of it really.
theslowesthand
Banned
What a boring fecking life i lead. h: :kickingmyself: :sad:
'My boredom has outshined the sun ... yes i'm down'
I'll likely always be as miserable as sin. Old dogs don't learn new tricks. :sad:
I seem to feel less miserable when music gets me in touch with my rage.
I keep checking my imaginary "watch of death".
I HATE you, f*cking life.
'Life is suicide ... life is suicide ... life is suicide ... , life is ...'
Life is F*CKING B*LLSHIT.
I wonder if life is like a bitter spiced rum - drank straight it's AWFUL, but when you add some coke or other sweet mixer, it become velvety delicious???
Some people are born to miss out on all the good stuff.
In the last 20-30 years i seem to have barely changed. See, i don't think that's right. It's off-kilter.
YAY!!! It's the full moon. That means i'm having my male period!!! The moon for sure affects my moods, can't deny that.
'And i feel no pain'
h: :kickingmyself: :sad:'My boredom has outshined the sun ... yes i'm down'
I'll likely always be as miserable as sin. Old dogs don't learn new tricks. :sad:
I seem to feel less miserable when music gets me in touch with my rage.
I keep checking my imaginary "watch of death".
I HATE you, f*cking life.
'Life is suicide ... life is suicide ... life is suicide ... , life is ...'
Life is F*CKING B*LLSHIT.
I wonder if life is like a bitter spiced rum - drank straight it's AWFUL, but when you add some coke or other sweet mixer, it become velvety delicious???
Some people are born to miss out on all the good stuff.
In the last 20-30 years i seem to have barely changed. See, i don't think that's right. It's off-kilter.
YAY!!! It's the full moon. That means i'm having my male period!!! The moon for sure affects my moods, can't deny that.
'And i feel no pain'
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Kiwong
Well-known member
So I have a few conversations that have gone well for me, and I start to think I enjoy this I want more of it. But then will I become too social and be ultimately disappointed as eventually complication creeps in as it often does with my interactions with people . Then I am teased by wanting something that in the end can never be mine. Easy conversation with people
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theslowesthand
Banned
Just sayin i've updated my previous post.
Lionhearted
Well-known member
I just need to become independent soon. It's always a dilemma to live with an uncertain future. But maybe things will work out. Patience just seems to be so much demanding these days.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm in a very similar situation, myself. So, I can relate, well kinda.
But, be patient, stay positive and I hope things work out for you. :thumbup:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I HATE MY MIDDLE SISTER! F*CKIN' HATE THE BITCH!! TREATING US - HER AIN FAMILY - LIKE SH!TE! AND SHE GENUINELY BELIEVES SHE HAS NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR... :kickingmyself:
Awww...! Well, if that's the case, she shouldn't huv even bothered moving back in with her Mum and wee brother (me). But, according to her, we haven't done enough to help her. :veryangry: :idontknow:
Wish I'd been adopted, or died a birth, rather than endure this guff. :sad:
Our Mum in feckin' denial abouet the situation, too. Just wants us all to get along and be friends. Nae chance! Sorry, but, I'm not associating with a person has absolutely no empathy for what others go through in life.
Awww...! Well, if that's the case, she shouldn't huv even bothered moving back in with her Mum and wee brother (me). But, according to her, we haven't done enough to help her. :veryangry: :idontknow:
Wish I'd been adopted, or died a birth, rather than endure this guff. :sad:
Our Mum in feckin' denial abouet the situation, too. Just wants us all to get along and be friends. Nae chance! Sorry, but, I'm not associating with a person has absolutely no empathy for what others go through in life.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I wish the world would go to sh!t.
theslowesthand
Banned
Restless as f*ck
Aloud, do i swear
Nobody around to hear
Nor does anyone care
It's just me and my fear
Waiting for the day to end
Waiting for the life to end
Whilst my mind goes "round the bend"
Everything passes, they say; everything f*cking passes
Meanwhile i still just want to kick some universal asses
Sweating, so top off ... thirsty again, so more rum & coke
If i were a smoker then some dope would i smoke
Done with heavy metal, now Zeppelin is ruling my ear-space
Done with running, now i just want false dreams to chase
MOMENTS, life is about MOMENTS
Hanging in there, for the moments
Good times, bad times ... they're all just fleeting moments
Fleeting moments, in a fleeting life
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... <SUSPENDED>)
Aloud, do i swear
Nobody around to hear
Nor does anyone care
It's just me and my fear
Waiting for the day to end
Waiting for the life to end
Whilst my mind goes "round the bend"
Everything passes, they say; everything f*cking passes
Meanwhile i still just want to kick some universal asses
Sweating, so top off ... thirsty again, so more rum & coke
If i were a smoker then some dope would i smoke
Done with heavy metal, now Zeppelin is ruling my ear-space
Done with running, now i just want false dreams to chase
MOMENTS, life is about MOMENTS
Hanging in there, for the moments
Good times, bad times ... they're all just fleeting moments
Fleeting moments, in a fleeting life
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... <SUSPENDED>)
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