GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Feeling the urge. There is no hole on this earth deep enough.
I didn't mean to imply i used to be normal, as i never was normal either (or happy).Yeah, I can definitely relate. Though, I was never normal, so don't exactly know how to be that. :idontknow:
I can't stand my sibling. Vile, ungrateful, angry, stupid, egomaniac, narcissistic, messy.......are just a few words to describe him. I thought the old man was bad but this guy takes the cake...hell he takes 100 cakes because he is that much worse. You know what....I was wrong about suicide. I really really was wrong about it. Suicide is the answer to all of my problems...ALL OF THEM. If things don't change this year, then next year I am going to be listening to those demons of mine more seriously.
I feel the same about my nephew. I'm trying my best not to escalate things between us (as it could VERY easily do so). We currently have a "strong dislike" towards each other; i don't want it to turn into hatred, as then things could get very nasty & possibly violent. I'm trying to learn about teenage boys on the web, to reduce my anger-causing misbeliefs, etc .. but can't find anything at all related to my exact situation .. so i'll just have forge a path for myself through the stinging nettles. I feel bad enough usually, without this "rude assault" on my being. All this could turn out to be my worst nightmare if i'm not VERY careful.
Last year i set a deadline for this year (now) to end my life if it hasn't improved noticeably. It has improved a little (not much), so i'm unsure whether it meets the criteria or not. But aside from that, presently i'm feeling suicidal almost every day, so that must say something. All i can say is that it's becoming more & more LIKELY that i'll someday end my own life; when that would be i guess depends on how much "staying power" i have to endure the suffering/torture/misery. I view suicide as a one-stop CURE-ALL solution, as well.
Sadly Capitalism is the new religion in the West.the church is a social institution that has the ability to rival mass media in power when it comes to GUIDING people and they're intimidated by that. SOME news outlets and broadcasting companies dont want you to follow the church because if more people start doing THAT then they might realize all the crazy BS that mass media has you believing/thinking is important in life. why do you think so many young girls are under the impression that they have to have the perfect supermodel body? its because mass media basically TELLS THEM TO. It brainwashes them into thinking they're not good enough. My mom works at a hospital school and you'd be ASTOUNDED at the number of anorexic patients who are young girls. one thing my mom taught me when I was a child is that when you only see people through the eyes of jesus, you'll see them for who they truly are. no one is perfect but trying your best to be a good person is the key.
Be careful what you wish for though! I inadvertently got to "a" point in life 17 years ago, but I am still suffering and recovering from it! :sad:I'm feeling generally confused about life, and whether i want to carry on with it or not (but i don't REALLY have any option except to continue on). I'm just sick to death of the boredom, misery, isolation, hopelessness, depression, etc. I want the endless suffering to stop. I want to "get to the point" of life with no further delay. But i guess that's too much to ask... :sad: :kickingmyself:
Be careful what you wish for though! I inadvertently got to "a" point in life 17 years ago, but I am still suffering and recovering from it! :sad: