How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Kiwong
Well-known member
Yes, every Monday morning I feel fear of venturing into a world of strangers.
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
It's raining outside. I can hear the soft patter through my open window: millions of droplets striking millions of leaves, an occasional bird call slipping through the steady hum. The blinds are up, but what little daylight filters through the clouds barely illuminates my little room.
I'm all alone in the dark and feeling suicidal.
I'm all alone in the dark and feeling suicidal.
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Sinopia
1
Happy and emotional and hopeful at the same time, because I'll move back to my parents place, so it's easier to move to another place if I've found another place. I don't have good contact with my parents, but I wanna move to another city so, I've been selling stuff and getting rid of more and more stuff that I don't need anymore. My house is getting empty, yes! I'm just looking forward for the future.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I can definitely relate, there. Though, ah'll take waking up with a body full of fear and regret over insomnia. :kickingmyself:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, I can't f**kin' wait til I get the house to myself for a wee while in a few weeks time! Might actually get the house uncluttered? Ironically enough, my oldest sister got a bit crabbit with our mum because she's - my sister - sick of hearing excuses for why my mum won't keep the house tidy. If only she knew what I had to put up with. At least, my sister isn't be verbally abused for losing her temper with our mum, even if it's just slightly.
Me, on the other hand. I dare not even tell my mum to do anything. Otherwise, it's the usual mantra of how I'm just like my dad. But I'm getting fed-up of the dumb arguments and my mum making a fuss over a trivial issues that shouldnae be such such a big deal... if yer a sane person.
And she's an ungrateful ____ , truly. I picked some biscuits for her, today - as she'd asked. Since she'd forgot to buy them when doing the shopping the day. And I got her some different ones as well, alongside the biscuits she told me to get. just for a change. As soon I show her the other packet, she tells me she doesn't want them.
h: As ye cun probably tell, I'm getting fed-up doing nice things for my family, only for them not appreciate the gesture. :thumbdown:
Me, on the other hand. I dare not even tell my mum to do anything. Otherwise, it's the usual mantra of how I'm just like my dad. But I'm getting fed-up of the dumb arguments and my mum making a fuss over a trivial issues that shouldnae be such such a big deal... if yer a sane person.
And she's an ungrateful ____ , truly. I picked some biscuits for her, today - as she'd asked. Since she'd forgot to buy them when doing the shopping the day. And I got her some different ones as well, alongside the biscuits she told me to get. just for a change. As soon I show her the other packet, she tells me she doesn't want them.
h: As ye cun probably tell, I'm getting fed-up doing nice things for my family, only for them not appreciate the gesture. :thumbdown:I've been lifting weights trying to get in shape and feel paranoid about my muscle growth. My arms look too masculine and now I'm concerned about the amount of testosterone in my body - ****. Both of my parents are former bodybuilders, so maybe my ability to put on muscle like that is genetic? God, I hope so - I really don't want to look like a man
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I've been lifting weights trying to get in shape and feel paranoid about my muscle growth. My arms look too masculine and now I'm concerned about the amount of testosterone in my body - ****. Both of my parents are former bodybuilders, so maybe my ability to put on muscle like that is genetic? God, I hope so - I really don't want to look like a man
As long as it's just the arms...
Sorry, nay offence intended by that cheeky wee quip. I can relate, though. I'm equally paranoid, or more self-conscious, about the muscle growth of my arm. Pretty sure my right arm's bigger than my left, in fact. I need to get back in shape as well. Haven't been to my local gym in nearly a year.
defiance
Well-known member
Feeling suicidal is something I can definitely relate to unfortunately. That feeling takes control of me more times than I care to count during a given week. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but nothing comes to mind unfortunately. You definitely aren't alone that's for sure.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, I know the feeling. Often happens to me as well, when out in public.
I'd have sweary 2 word response if it were me being called that...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Wish my life was a wee bit easier. Not in the sense of having everything done for me. It'd just be nice if I got the help when I ask for it, and not have to constantly burden with someone else's problem. As well having the responsibility to care for them as well, especially when they rarely appreciate all that I do for them without complaint. They're only so often ye can listen to somebuddy be depressive before ye just stop caring completely. :sad: Tired of my family trying to second guess me aw the time, and making me feel guilty for doing what's right by me. :kickingmyself:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
:idontknow: I don't see much point in trying to better my life, and be happy. Seems that's not to be tolerated in my family. Selfish, or so they tell me. Gotta maintain that ever miserable Scottish dourness. Can't even have a wee change of routine for once in my life, trying something new. Instead o' the same ol' routine. But, no, everyone is free do as they wish except me. :kickingmyself: :sad:
Always gotta do what my controlling, narcisstic, bitch of a mother tells me or else... Not much of a life, is it? Living on edge, a constantly feeling anxious because yer only parent is prone to overreact at the smallest thing, even being the simplest question is enough to set her off.h:
Always gotta do what my controlling, narcisstic, bitch of a mother tells me or else... Not much of a life, is it? Living on edge, a constantly feeling anxious because yer only parent is prone to overreact at the smallest thing, even being the simplest question is enough to set her off.
h:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Can definitely relate. I really need start eating more healthy and being more active. Was kinda hoping I'd maintain that routine I started last year, but sadly I've kinda got lazy in that regard. :sad:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Spent the whole day listening to NWOBM and 80s thrash metal music today, make o' that what ye will. Oh Gawd, I'm becoming just like slowesthand.
Oh Gawd, I'm becoming just like slowesthand.
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defiance
Well-known member
I wake up and again my mental issues great me in the morning. This morning however, my suicidal urge was really strong. As if it was saying "do you really want to do this again? I have the answer to your problems. Don't you want your pain to end once and for all?" Boy it sure is fun being me.:sad::kickingmyself:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sorry yer struggling, man. I can definitely relate, though - sadly. :sad: I wish could say or suggest summit that could make ye feel better as far as taking yer mind of these intrusive thoughts. :idontknow:
defiance
Well-known member
I wish I knew what I could do to be rid of these thoughts. Maybe then I could get a job and drive a car like normal people do. Maybe then I could look at the world with different eyes and actually enjoy myself a bit. I feel so empty and unfulfilled. I've said this before where I feel like my life is a fatal car crash in slow motion. You see it coming but there is nothing you can do about it. I feel so bad for anyone who is related to me or friends with me for that matter because I am a loser and nothing more.
As long as it's just the arms...
Haha It is
I asked my mom's opinion and she said they look great and I just need to focus on my triceps to make my arms look smaller. I agree with her, though - they're a little too flabby. Anyway, I feel better about it.
Once you see results, working out can be quite addictive
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Haha It is
I asked my mom's opinion and she said they look great and I just need to focus on my triceps to make my arms look smaller. I agree with her, though - they're a little too flabby. Anyway, I feel better about it.
Once you see results, working out can be quite addictive
Yeah, I have the same issue regarding my arms as well - in terms of them being a bit flabby. The definition is there certainly. And you're right - working out can be quite addictive. As I found out last year while getting intense physiotherapy after having surgery on my right knee.