Wow, I didn't expect this thread to get so many posts ^^ Thanks a lot, all of you, I really appreciate the advice and hearing what you have to say. And I'm glad a few guys decided to comment on this thread, it's interesting to hear what they have to say in addition to other women.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting children. Society seems to think that women who don't should be pitied, that there MUST be something wrong with us.
I don't want children. Just because you're physically capable of reproducing, doesn't mean you should.
That said though, you should want children because you want them, not because you fear being alone.
Society in general, not just with things like this, is pretty ridiculous. And that's true, I'll remember that
You're not alone in this. I don't want children either because I know I can't give them what they need. I also suffer from people-pleasing issues. I think I read from a study that raising kids from birth to adulthood cost a total of $100,000 (or more). And this doesn't even cover college costs.
I'm also 23, which in my opinion is too young to have children. I wouldn't want to get tied down with kids this early. Right now, I'm not thinking about kids at all. I'm thinking about school, career, world travel, etc - things that I wouldn't be able to do if I had kids right now.
It's also really scary because there's tons of people YOUNGER than us, including people the same age as my little sister (she's 15) that have children. I know mistakes happen, and teens end up becoming mothers. But as long as they step up to the responsibility of taking care of that baby, then it's fine.
Unfortunately on places like facebook I see TONS of mothers that should never have children, but do including some people in my family. One of my cousins (who I haven't actually met in person) has had several children. Two of them she gave away to her aunt to raise, one she gave to a foster home, and the last one is still an infant, seven months old -_- I don't have a very high opinion of her, and hope that she stops having babies.
My thoughts: you have more a decade left to decide. That's a huge amount of time. The person you will be in a decade will be different than the person you are now. So if you want to ponder about kids: do it now. But you don't have to.
Most of my friends are in their early thirties. Of the dozen people or so I count among them, only one person has children. The other of them, most of them in long relationships, don't plan to have any, or at least not any time soon.
What the society says? How will a random person you meet on the street know whether you have children or not? So they will think nothing. What your friends think? That depends on the friends you choose to have. If my friends would expect me to have kids, I'd get different friends.
I'm a guy, so I have even more time to ponder about this. My stand is: I don't need children. IF I ever find a near perfect person, and IF I have a relationship with her lasting a longer time, and IF I'm sure that the relationship will last for a much longer time, and IF she wants children, and IF we can afford children, then I'm fine to get children. But I don't need them. And until that happens, I won't have any.
Thanks for your advice
My two friends don't expect me to have kids despite wanting to themselves, and they're very good friends. I already talked to one of them about this and she doesn't care whether I have kids or not, and is very supportive. If they DID have an issue and pressured me, then they wouldn't be very good friends.
I think it's great that you're willing to compromise when it comes to kids, if and only when you're ready, it'd be a great world if most people thought like you did.
Interesting to know that most of your friends don't have children, doesn't make me feel so strange anymore ^^
Females that don't want children are just lucky if they are with a male because usually they(males) don't want one and won't do anything with the child.
And I really don't care how many people I offended.
It sounds like you were surrounded by fathers that wanted nothing to do with their kids...otherwise I'm not sure where you got that one-sided point of view. That being said, it is unfair to group men together like that, since there's a lot of amazing fathers out there. Yeah, you'll get the occasional deadbeat dad that doesn't give a crap about their children, but there's a lot of mothers like that too, not just men.
Your post wasn't really offensive until after that last sentence, since it shows that you don't have that much respect for others :/
Add me to the list of women who do not want children. While passing on my screwy mental health is one reason, I primarily don't want kids because I just don't like them. I hate the thought of taking care of someone else and cleaning up after them. I also hate when they cry. I don't think I could control my temper during times of conflict with them, either.
Oh, and pregnancy itself just grosses me out and seems like way too much of a hassle, what with all the studies about how even certain foods you eat while pregnant can contribute to how your child develops. With my luck, pregnancy would mess my body up big time, and since I like where I'm at right now physically, that is a no-no.
And finally, I'm just too selfish and think there are enough people on the planet without me adding to the pile. My kids are the ones with four legs.
What's funny is that more and more people I come across seem to think I'm making the right decision by choosing not to have kids.
Haha, I find myself more sure of going down the NOT having children route after seeing the kids that constantly come into my workplace. As many as 5 times a day, parents will bring their screaming children into the store...the kids throwing a tantrum because they didn't get the toy they wanted, messing up the fashion jewelry after I just fixed it and putting their fingers all over the glass WHILE I'm cleaning it...running around the store without supervision...well, the the last thing seems like the parents fault mostly, since they should be watching their children.
As for pregnancy...it doesn't really appeal to me...I can't picture myself being pregnant and have little desire to do so. Sounds like a long, painful process and more worries and anxieties to add to my list!
But like a few people said, I might feel differently in the future, but for now I'm pretty sure I don't want any.
