Asking girl out

[Feeble Scream]

I know some of you are in a relationship or have been in one. As pathetic this sounds, how did you actually ask her out?

There is one girl that has been in my mind for a long time and I've decided to finally do something and I don't want to sound stupid and mess things up before they actually even begin... ::

Can you tell me your experience how did you ask her out or how did a shy guy ask you out. Anything helps.

 

[Blabla..]

i have been in multiple relationships , but never asked a girl out

you just know when you like someone and that person likes you too , you both keep getting closer and closer , if you like someone and are not sure about her thoughts , just try to get closer to her and it will be obvious , invite her over to watch some movies or just ask her to hang out with you !

that's how i do it

 

[UnOccupied]

Hey man, its great your thinking about this stuff. Most guys hide from asking girls out because of fear of rejection. Truth is, you won't ever know the exact right words to say. You won't have the most catchy ask out line around, and there are NO guarentees she will say yes.

The key is to not blow it out of proportion in your mind. While you are having a conversation with her, just be like so, you want to grab lunch one day with me? MAKE SURE she knows you are asking her out though, so she knows it is more than just friends.

Last time i asked out a girl(my first time as well), i just said, hey, so you want to go out some time? She said yes, definitely. We arranged something another day, and that was that. If she said no, i'd have said okay, ill talk to ya another time.

This girl you have in mind may seem like the love of your life, but really shes just another girl who you are valuing your self worth against.

Also, the answer will actually become much clearer after you ask her out, making it much easier the next time.

Hope this helps!

 

[Arthur_Dent]

<rudely selfish rant ahead that doesn't answers the OP question >

I know this is not about who's having it worst, but sometimes I can't help to think "screw being able to talk in public, or not bring afraid of crowds, or have some offline friends, when some can't do that and yet they somehow managed to get a partner. At least they have some close support to overcome their problems, while I don't."

Also I'm aware than the most here don't have neither my overall level of functionality neither a partner, but I'm not one of those persons who feels better knowing that others have it worst.

</rant>

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Hey i'm a girl but i'll explain how my bf asked me out and now he admits how nervous he was
1-hello how are you
2-hi (name)
3-bye (name)
4-im excited i got this game and.. short sentances.. (time passed no talk then all the sudden)
5-hey you want to hangout after work theres this party.. oh your busy? we should hangout next week.... yes? okay may i have you number? (be patient)
6-texts same day (no games if you want a real relationship, i mean text when you want to)
7-date, date, date... relationship
Don't let being nervous hold you back i could tell he was nervous but it was cute and it's interesting how his personality is so fun now since he's more comfortable

 

[Aletheia]

<rudely selfish rant that doesn't answer the OP's question either>

At least they have some close support to overcome their problems, while I don't.

A lot of people seem to think that once they get the right partner (or even any partner) their lives will be magically better. And it's not just here.

I won't deny that I've had some wonderful wonderful moments with boyfriends, and have some wonderful wonderful memories. But a relationship is not a guaranteed recipe for happily ever after. A lot of people are absolutely miserable in their relationships. And I'm here to tell you that they can be stressful.

</rant>

 

[KiaKaha]

I have asked out quite a few girls, and I have been rejected every single time.
The last time took a lot of courage... I asked out the girl at the coffee kiosk. Oh how we would banter... I would order my coffee and she would smile her coy smile and ask me how my day was going... giving me extra coffee stamps on my coffee card every time I saw her..

Me being the social retard that I am, fumbled out a few words about it being "fine" while panicking as to how to make a good impression.

I couldnt have done too badly because she invited me out to a bar that she was playing at. Unfortunately when I got there I managed to say hello, but she went off with her friends. I took matters into my own hands because the next day I just bowled up to her and asked her out on a date. Unfortunately for me she had a boyfriend... so that was the end of that....which after all the flirting seemed inconceivable..

The moral of the story is... if you dont try you will never know. Its hard...but its like pulling off a band aid...just DO IT...its not as painful as it seems... the only thing bruised is your ego.

 

[Sora]

Well, I took my chances and went to talk to her when saw her alone. I tried to ask her out and she seemed bit shocked. She hesitated and couldn't give an answer and then she ran away.

The good thing is that I think she is interest in me (if I understood her body language correctly). The bad thing is that progress wasn't made and I'm still at the same situation. Only now it feels even more harder...

Try not to think about it too much, if you do that it makes it harder to ask. I can't help you much as only asked 2 people out and well the first one was pretty much as simple as this and on the spot, I basically just said "so wanna go out with me?" and she said yes. The next one I was not even sure what I wanted and she kinda asked me first or was hinting at it and I was just responding like "I donno maybe, it's going well at the moment so let's see how it goes!" (I was seeing her but not going out with her). I did ask her out in the end, don't remember how I did that one though but I remember I waited until new year to do it.

Don't take advice from me though I don't plan anything, I just do! If something comes in my head, I do it or say it! It's got me in trouble a lot lol but if your with the right type of person it also works or they will see the funny side of it.

 

[Felgen]

<rudely selfish rant that doesn't answer the OP's question either>



A lot of people seem to think that once they get the right partner (or even any partner) their lives will be magically better. And it's not just here.

I won't deny that I've had some wonderful wonderful moments with boyfriends, and have some wonderful wonderful memories. But a relationship is not a guaranteed recipe for happily ever after. A lot of people are absolutely miserable in their relationships. And I'm here to tell you that they can be stressful.

</rant>

A relationship won't guarantee happiness, but very few feelings are worse than being 20 years old and still never having had a real relationships. I was in that exact place at the age of 20 and thanks to MTV and high school movies, you're basically treated like a leprotic by any girl in your age group who knows this.

I've been in a few relationships (but only one serious) and had a few one-night stands and knowing that I won't be shunned because of inexperience anymore (which happened a lot in my late teens) is a confidence boost.

 

[Etbow23]

I know some of you are in a relationship or have been in one. As pathetic this sounds, how did you actually ask her out?

There is one girl that has been in my mind for a long time and I've decided to finally do something and I don't want to sound stupid and mess things up before they actually even begin... ::

Can you tell me your experience how did you ask her out or how did a shy guy ask you out. Anything helps.

hm i'm a girl and i asked him out. well not really, i asked for his number. i was a different girl then..i just asked.

 

[Sora]

I think too much, that is the problem. I'm too conscious what I say or how I act. As I'm socially retarded that usually ends up me saying something idiotic. And that is something I do my best to avoid, especially in front of someone I care. Other than that I'm very bad at small talks. I don't know how to open conversation( at least not with normal people lol). It would be fantastic if she would approach me but I think she is waits for me to do it again.
Well, I got to come up with somethings soon as I'm afraid I might "lose" her to someone else...

I'm exactly the same, I overthink everything. I think it may be a common thing for guys, we like to fix things and understand everything. Solving things if you like. Lately though I have being able to not show my overthinking, I am always doing it but the girl never knows about it unless I tell her which isn't often. However I know one thing, you need to act on it if you like her, not so much tell her, I think if you act you will have a better chance. Women seem to like that more than being told how you feel. They want to feel how you feel, not be told! (this is just what I have learnt lately, don't take it as set in stone lol).

Just try to overthink only at home if you think you can manage it and not let it ruin things. I tend to try and be as relaxed as possible when I am around someone I like and I tend to through hints that I like them, never telling them how I feel but showing in subtle little hints. It keeps things exciting, I believe this to be true because I see it often with women, whenever a woman confuses me and never gives off a 100% sign I am like "hmm does she like me?" This actually makes you like someone I think because your emotions get spiked, you can't help but feel drawn to them. Just have fun when your with her and show her you care and stuff. Perhaps move in for a kiss if it feels right?

 

[mmmm]

I have asked out quite a few girls, and I have been rejected every single time.
The last time took a lot of courage... I asked out the girl at the coffee kiosk. Oh how we would banter... I would order my coffee and she would smile her coy smile and ask me how my day was going... giving me extra coffee stamps on my coffee card every time I saw her..

Me being the social retard that I am, fumbled out a few words about it being "fine" while panicking as to how to make a good impression.

I couldnt have done too badly because she invited me out to a bar that she was playing at. Unfortunately when I got there I managed to say hello, but she went off with her friends. I took matters into my own hands because the next day I just bowled up to her and asked her out on a date. Unfortunately for me she had a boyfriend... so that was the end of that....which after all the flirting seemed inconceivable..

The moral of the story is... if you dont try you will never know. Its hard...but its like pulling off a band aid...just DO IT...its not as painful as it seems... the only thing bruised is your ego.

Good work. You're eliminating the ones who will say no first. It's only a matter of time now.

 

[Kiwong]

I sent one girl a nice letter, and another an email. They didn't say no, but I didn't actually go on the dates in the end. The girls knew me a little, I didn't ask girls I hardly knew.

 

[coyote]

....I don't plan anything, I just do! If something comes in my head, I do it or say it! It's got me in trouble a lot lol but if your with the right type of person it also works or they will see the funny side of it.

this has proven to work for me as well

not always in a good way, though

just ask any of my ex-wives

 

[this_portrait]

Hmmm... Well, my ex first contacted me online. From there, we conversed through the web for about 2 months before he finally asked me out over an AIM chat. It was pretty much all a build-up. That might be your best approach. Just talk to her casually and try to build up to it.

 

[Sora]

this has proven to work for me as well

not always in a good way, though

just ask any of my ex-wives

haha care to elaborate further or is it not a topic you feel you can discuss?
I'm not really a planning kinda guy so I just say it how it is though lately I don't do anything, probs as I am not sure what I want at the moment

 

[Sora]

Hmmm... Well, my ex first contacted me online. From there, we conversed through the web for about 2 months before he finally asked me out over an AIM chat. It was pretty much all a build-up. That might be your best approach. Just talk to her casually and try to build up to it.

Whoa! He asked you out online? and you said yes?!
This is the first I have seen, I am very shocked to hear this works!
Feels good to know this works though I would still prefer to ask them out in person so I can see their reaction.

 

[this_portrait]

Whoa! He asked you out online? and you said yes?!
This is the first I have seen, I am very shocked to hear this works!
Feels good to know this works though I would still prefer to ask them out in person so I can see their reaction.

Yep. I was living at home about 85 miles away from him when he asked me out. I don't know if he would've done it in person if I would've lived closer or not. I kinda doubt it, because he was relatively shy himself at the time. I was, too (and still kinda am).

 

[Sora]

Yep. I was living at home about 85 miles away from him when he asked me out. I don't know if he would've done it in person if I would've lived closer or not. I kinda doubt it, because he was relatively shy himself at the time. I was, too (and still kinda am).

Yeh I am mega shy at first, wow still shocked lol, I want a shy girl! lol you shy girls all seem so awesome! You've given me a new outlook at things I never thought this was possible though I do imagine it is rare, perhaps it works amongst shy people!

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I have asked out quite a few girls, and I have been rejected every single time........ the only thing bruised is your ego.

The problem with me, is that its a girl I work woth, so the ego gets bruised and punched repeatedly cause rejection would create an akward tension and then other people i work with may find out, probabyly best to not say anything in the first place.
And thats how I decide what path to go, I dont listen to desires, but to my brain, that never steers me wrong